Thread: do you love yourself

okay sweetie27,
i know how you feel and how you are. have to say i'm guilty of being that kind of person for a long long time..... i was a huge co dependant, always helping others, couldn't bear to say no, ever! i did it at my own exspence and didn't realize what it was doing to me. i have 3 kids and one point i couldn't even say no to them i was afrais they would end up hating me because of it. same senerio with other people in my life. i wanted them not to dislike me. in the long run it really did hurt me as a person i had no confidence about myself. well i decided to change all that, yes it was a long process and didn't happen overnight but i slowly improved. one of the main things that happened that helped me change was i had a really close girlfriend(well i thought she was my friend) she lived about 45 minutes from. well i would always bail her out of things to make her look good. she wasn't the best of house keepers and she would call me to come over and clean her house for her before her hubby would come home from work or before the landlord would come to inspect how she was keeping up their property. always when i got there it would be discusting dirty. it was always a huge job and also i would always have to buy all the cleaning supplies. she didn't own a mop, broom, or any type of cleaning anything. i would always spend my money and never get reimbursed for it. i did this for a long time and she would always get the credit for it. it really finally made me sort of mad. she really did take advantage of my niceness. well one day she called up and gave me the same old story about how she needed me to come and clean like asap because her inlaws were coming over. well i got enough courage to tell her no i can't do it. well she never called me again. our friendship ended just like that! that's when i realized she wasn't my friend at all ever. i was walked on the whole time. i knew i didn't deserve that and i was never going to let someone do that to me ever again. you have to learn to be selfish and just say no!!! if you don't you will just kind of fade away as a person. you deserve to take care of yourself and not always everyone else. just think of it what did these people do before they met you. well i'm sure they existed just fine. the people who really care for you will understand if you have to tell them no. really they will. if they don't than so be it. they truly are not your friends. well i hope you can see that your a wonderful person and deserve to pamper yourself once and awhile. take care and good luck to you......

Honey, here you have answered your own question. The mirror. It is that reflection that looks back at you that you do not love. I know. Been that route too. When I lost what I wanted to lose, I found a new person. I liked her and I found that other people liked her. For some reason in our society people do not welcome overweight people. They will look at what is on your plate and what you are eating and it just plain does not go. It is not fun going into a store and not being able to find clothes when you are heavy. Everything "cute" is not in your size. Ever tried going into a grocery store and carrying around a 20 pound bag of potatoe's. Shopping the whole time and realizing that this is what you are carrying on your body. Then add what other amount you have to add to this. Besides that food is comfort. It takes away the pain of no boyfriend and loneliness but it does not caress you and make love to you.

My best advice would be for you to first get rid of that baggage. Not easy but so goes life....Easy eating but hard parting with.. It will not go overnight so don't get disgusted with it. I have found that in the last three plus years when I lost a lot of weight that a new person evolved. She is a happy and confident women. Sexual as all get out.... Looks young and walks knowing that I have taken off years of my life and have a man that I can drive wild. It is a start for you as it was a start for me. Take one day at a time and don't get disgusted and quit. Healthy foods are not always good food as they do not taste good like pies and cakes but you learn that at peach or other low calorie treat can fill you too.

You have got to like you to love life. The mirror tells the story. That is how I got my man. Got out of high school and lost 40 pounds. Never dated so much in my life. Before that time I never had any real close friends either.

Nothing tastes as good as being thin.....Just my thoughts.....Much luck....

Originally Posted by CarolineWH

...When I lost what I wanted to lose, I found a new person...

You never know where you'll find small nuggets of wisdom...Thank you for saying this, Caroline.