This has been going on a long time but the clincher came when she sold her car and announced that she would now be riding with us neigbors which meant three in general and one of them was me. We are both older ladies and have our own homes and live alone but I am very independent and she is the opposite. She whines that she thought she would be married by now but I can see why she's not. For one, she rarely goes anywhere alone and hardly ever drove her own car. Instead, she insinuates herself upon the three of us whenever she thinks we are going somewhere and it is hard to say no. She calls several times a day trying to find out who is going somewhere and then more or less invites herself to go with us. I have tried to get her interested in joining the seniors club but she won't do it unless I join and take her every time. I'm just not into that as I don't feel that darned old yet. It got to the point for awhile that if I went anywhere without her and she discovered I was gone, she would either be sitting on my front porch waiting for me with arms folded or she would call me and try to make me feel guilty by saying, "If you had ASKED me, I would have gone with you, but you didn't ASK me." She calls people idiots and yo-yos and makes fun of southern people even though from what I've seen, she is not so smart herself. She doesn't offer to buy gas but will instead bring something she has baked which is sometimes okay and sometimes terrible. I personally cannot afford to buy gas to take her around.

Right now she has taken up with the third neighbor, a widow up from me, as I have told her she should be ashamed of herself for being so dependent and she's a little miffed with me. The second neighbor is laid up with a bad leg and can't drive so she's lost interest in her as well right now. She is cooking meals for the widow, cleaning her yard and running around behind her like a lacky. She tried to do all that for me but I do my own work and don't let anyone do it unless I hire someone and I can't afford to do that. It is very disgusting so I try to distance myself but she calls me up cooing about where they have gone together and how she takes her anywhere she wants to go. It is a welcome relief for me right now that she's mostly tagging the other neighbor but it's just a matter of time before she has gets the cold shoulder there also and starts making the rounds to me again as well as the gal with the bad leg when it heals. I don't want to be mean but I just can't have someone clinging to me all the time. She has no family here and her kids don't do much for her. She fights with her son all the time and she won't listen to her daughter. They don't help her at all that I can see. Her granddaughter did live here but moved away. Before she left, this woman almost drove the poor girl crazy clinging to her and demanding that she take her everywhere she went. Her husband got aggravated and was going to have a talk with her about it but the girl wouldn't let him as she said her grandmother would never forgive them and so they let it go until they moved away.

We live out in the country about three miles from the nearest store so a car is a neccessity but she refuses to get one. I have made up my mind that, barring an emergency, I am not taking this woman anywhere! I will not be forced into taking someone who refuses to try and help herself. Am I being selfish? By the way, she is in excellent health but hasn't worked for 15 years as she didn't want to be fettered by a job so that she would be free to go when she got a chance. She says she doesn't have much money left and doesn't want to spend any but she could have been working and banking her money instead of crying the blues and expecting everyone else to furnish her gas and transportation. Someone, please give me some suggestions, please! She could be a good neighbor if she weren't so clingy and expect so much of us!

You poor thing.. What a delima to be in... Are you being selfish? No way.. She is being a "user" full stop.

Playing on people's sub-conscious, guilt trips?

The hard part is you can't move away from her and your in a small location so your right, when one is done with her, she'll rotate.

The good thing is if you all ( three of you ) feel the same and do the same, then she's outed full stop and can't rely on any of you... Or, as she burns one, she'll go onto the next, burn them, onto the last, burn them and then where is she to go from there? The cycle in other words has to end at some point.

However, i am sensing a feel of kindness in you... Your not as straight forward with her as you want to be and hense, leaving that door open for her to in-fact come back when it fails in the other directions.

Why not have a discussion with the other two ladies? See, if you all feel totally the same?

Then if so, with that understanding, you all play:-

With your dates, make them expensive ones, regardless of the petrol thing, things she can't afford or won't want to afford to spend her money on, even though that's not your plans, make believe they are... Surely, if she's a tight fist with money, she would be making excuses as to why she can't join you all... But then you go off and do what you want to do instead... Of course, know a bit about what you were meant to do...

I think you need to discuss this with the other ladies so you are all on the same wave length, and work together on solutions together...

She will stop coming over, maybe even move now wouldn't that be nice.

Make yourselves like the witches of eastwood, lol... and sweep her away....

CW

Thanks for your input, CW. I think you may be right and I am doing my best to sweep her away as gently as I can without being a meanie.