Joy
Gold Contributor 500+ Posts

I hope you did make the day about you.. I know you wanted it to be about the pair of you, darn mate of his hey. xx But i do hope you did.

lol.. Well but, but, you still have to also somehow get your point across... I hope it is a magical roadtrip instead of a grrrrr one. xx

You can't make your bf meet your needs anymore than I can make T meet mine. It would be really wonderful to have a relationship with someone who is willing to put in as much effort at pleasing you as you put in to please them. But that only comes if they want to. You can only do your part. So take care of yourself. Find reasons to be joyful and happy. I'm finding that when I do, there are people to share it. Maybe not who you think you want but perhaps our problem is we are expecting it of the wrong people?

Maybe part of that is really knowing your worth, deeply knowing it. So deeply, that the knowing cannot be shaken out of you by anyone or anything. We undervalue ourselves. This isn't egotism, it's knowing that we are part of and connected to something so much bigger than what we appear to be.

Life is a journey and I'm learning all the time.

Try just letting go of all of it. Hold high expectations, but not from him or even yourself. Hold them for life, so that when you go outside you expect to see beauty, when you meet people or get out in the world, you expect to find good and to have your needs met. Just let go of the expectation of where it may come from. That doesn't matter so much, as just expecting it.

OMG the common sense you have... its from a great life lived and learned and you have two children that have watched their mom be a survivor and keep on moving forward....

I want a beautiful tapesty.

I'm doing really well! For the past week, week and a half, I've been feeling more and more myself. That may sound a bit odd, but I think a stressful 8 years of marriage and then the past year of courts and all that mess is finally dropping away. I still care deeply for T but now feel more that with or without him, I'm good. I'm feeling better and better about me and my worth and value and have a growing awareness of the synchronicities in my life. I'm feeling like I am moving toward really knowing what it is I am here to do and then to creating it. There have been certain threads in my life, some are good and some aren't. As a one time weaver, I'm ready to cut the poor quality threads and work in better, new ones.

Hey, there, cougar! I will go out and see a movie with that cutie...hehe...i am soooo embarrassed, really! LMAO!

I used to JUST laugh at it, but now, I realized how it feels. LOL!

Hey what you been up to? I've had quite a bit of energy work lately. My yoga teacher did a session of Reiki for me. I went with a gf and had my aura cleaned and chakras opened this evening. I feel great. While he was working I felt and heard something from my mid back, I felt it leave. Later he told me I'd had some negative energy in my 3rd Chakra, that wasn't mine and it had gone. I told him I'd felt it. He said I am spiritually "full" but need clarity to do what I need to.
I just feel good right now.
Between this, yoga and the Reiki, the back pain I'd been having has vanished.
I've had some interesting stuff coming into my life, opportunities for things like this, some training I'd wanted - for free and some unexpected male attention. T better watch it LOL. (He is completely secure in my affections). Anyway I'm staying open to possiblities and seeing what happens.