Passion
VIP Member

Unfortunately for me, I saw him this weekend with the other women. It ws such a coincidence. He looked at me and kept talking to her as if he did not recognize me. I later went up to him while he was talking to her and he just gave me a handshake. Can you believe as if we were simple acquaintances and did not spend 15yrs together. I went up to him and honestly I slipped... I am so upset at myself for that but then I confronted her and asked her why she did what she did when she knew that he was married. she tried to tell me he was not wearing a ring when she met him. I told her I did not care and it did not matter cause she continued after she realized. I disclosed things from her that he told me. At the end I told her those tatooes he had on were a gift from me to him for our first year anniversary and then I walked away. the last days I have been so miserable and It seems Like I am not going to be able to handle it anymore.

Oh, I am so happy for you. I know how you must feel. I would feel the same way and I would be happy in your situation, I totally understand that you want to take things slowly that is a wise choice after all he has to win you back again after all the hurt that you have been through. I honestly, had a feeling that he would come back to you from your past posts. I hope everything goes well, please keep me posted.

I am really just trying to digest it all still...and I have to be completely honest with myself-wether I want to move forward with him and leave the past in the past...I'm analyzing the two different sitautions to continue the divorce or to go back and spend the rest of our lives together.
I told him that although I love him and see myself continuing our lives together I want to not tell the kids or my family yet because I am not going to move in right away, he said he understands that I need time to think in case I have a change of heart, honestly passion this is really hard! I love him with all of my heart and can only see us together forever, but I don't want to jump too quickly- does that make sense? I told him that we can be patient and we have our whole lives to be together.

Passion, I don't know where to start..I can't believe I'm about to say this but he came over to talk and basically spilled his emotions and feelings out about how he has screwed everything up, he doesn't want a divorce, that he was in the wrong and loves me with all of his heart... I told him that he knows that I still love him always have always will he said even after everything I have done? he said you are amazing perfect and I respect you so much...asked if we could move forward because he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and will do whatever it takes to make it up to me.
honestly passion..If I heard this months ago I would feel differently and say no but it feels right that I don't have anger towards him I really believe that things happen for a reason and I know that I will not take things for granted, if we learn from our mistakes we will not repeat history.

I am really glad that you and I can relate and give each other words of comfort and encouragment...I hope and believe that one day you and him can be friends..until then maybe now is not the time, things happen for a reason...we might not understand or like it but ultimately things will work themselves out.

Passion,
I would be lying if I said there was 1 day that I didn 't think of him also...believe it or not there are even songs that I can't even listen to because I would probably be overwhelmed and break down and cry, even though I do not feel sad I do at times really miss him and wonder where we will be in a year..we do talk every day and not always about the kids, we chit chat and he even commented today that I look really good (I've lost a lot of weight) and thin but that he doesn't want me to disappear. It feels nice that we can text and call each other.

Today I went to do that and I felt like texting me I am having a vanilla iced coffe and apple pie. but I did not because I just need to let it go. I realized today that regardless of all the things that he put me through maybe in the future years from now we can be friends after all He was my best friend and I was his for fifteen years. Well, life goes on and although i miss him somuch I still have some resentment towards him. I am also glad that because of what happened I have grown, become the person I want to be, outgoing, social, and have met several new friends and have kept their friendship. So I am happy about that. Thank you Jenny, I am so glad that I also have you to ramble on with. To tell you the truth, I would have done the same thing that you did and I would have felt the same way.

Thank You Jenny, for your words. It hurted me to know that he did not think about me or missed me but your right. It is too many years for him to forget just like that. I can't let a day go by without mentioning his name or thinking about him. Everything reminds me of him of the things we did good times and bad times but mostly little simple things as going to get an iced coffee with apple pies every morning as a treat for us.

Passion, I read what you wrote in the forum about missing him I and feel for you...I wish we could just turn our emotions and feelings off to protect us and heal faster. I can't lie and say that I don't miss him ever or ever think of him either, but what I do is just keep looking forward, set goals and be hopeful for a brighter and happier tomorrow! But never think that he feels nothing even though he has done what he has done, you both have history and he might not ever admit his own pain or confusion to you.
for us both that were in long relationships, our lives have drastically changed and in all reality enough time has not passed yet...we are still healing!
surround yourself with positive things and friends that can make you laugh and smile! I am here even you want to ramble about the same things...and to vent as long as you want.

Passion, To be truthful I am not hopefull...its weird I don't know why...yes it was a surprize that he showed up and yes I could have said no...I did hesitate at first but then just went with it. I know deep down that what he said to me he meant and the more I thought about it, I wondered if what I feel is simply that I have the upper hand, how imature is that?....I know that I am a great woman and that he loves me and him coming to me and telling me those things made me feel good but not hopeful or confused or angry or sad, even now I don't believe I should do that again I don't regret it It was nice while it lasted..it is what it is.
But I've learned that you should never say never.