Passion
VIP Member

Hi Passion. I am in a relationship but we both question is the other happy and if we individually are happy. I read these post and messages from you and Jenny. I am not yet married but so scared of getting married and then the relationship falling apart. How do you stay strong? Although, we have not broke up, I feel sad in our relationship and I need the skills to be happy in unhappy times. We can be in the same house, same bed but it feels we are worlds apart...

Hi, Jenny
I was just wondering if he called you to wish you a happy thanksgiving. He did not to me and It saddened me. I know that today, he went to a christmas lighting something that I wanted to do with him. Sometimes I wonder why he hates me so much. I only gave my best to him I feel like I can't breathe and I feel so lonely. Living with my mother does not make it any better although I enjoy her company I feel like I have to answer everything I do to her when I just need to take off late at night and go for a ride to get some breathing time I feel like its not right because I don't want her to worry about me. Have you had any contact with your husband??? In the last few days I have been dreaming about him. Sometimes I wonder if I am such a bad person to deserve this. He has an art show tomorrow, He can't even call me He just forgot that I ever existed. How much I want to talk to him to tell him how I detest him, how an awful person he is but it is useless. All he cares is about himself and his new husband stealer.

Wow Jenny I am so sorry he told me the same thing that our paths were going in two different directions and we pulled on each other. He told me that our dreams were too different and like you one day mid October 16, 2008 he told me that by the phone that He was divorcing me and he started to blame me for not working on our marriage for not wanting what we had and for not supporting him on his dream. I don't understand I supported him financially for two years while he finished his school. I am sorry for your children that had to experience that are they going to counseling. Are you? I could not imagine going through that and having to be strong for your children. He has not been staying at our home he is staying at hers at least he gives me that i hope but I guess i could never know what he will do since I really don't know him. Both of them are only thinking about their small heads but soon they will realize what they have done and what they have lost. Or at least I tell myself that to feel better. This thanksgiving was horrible for me. I have a small family my mother, brother, and myself so I felt it even more. I usually do all the cooking and he would spend some time with my mom while I cooked. Today my mother did it as I did not feel like doing it too depressing. We sat at the table and there it was his spot I felt like crying and crying and crying. Fifteen years of him in my life and in my families life. Hard to deal with this separation. I don't have children wasn't able to so I am 34 years old and I feel like an old rag, used and thrown for something newer. I feel like I now don't have any chance to have children. I am scared that I will live a lonely life. Jenny I will be emailing you at your address. mine is mrslmndzyahoo.com

passion, I really can't believe how men can be so confused and change their entire life for something so stupid! and as far as that other women that has no right to persue a married man..she is only there conveniently in a very vulnerable time in your husbands life!...they are just opportunistic women with no morals!...now I have been married 8 1/2 years, with 3 kids..we also never really had a lot of problems, nothing serious or big..but beginning of October he hits me with...I'm not happy we need to separate and have some time apart, I feel like we are going separate directions and we don't want the same things anymore...of course my reaction was...confusion and pain!!!...but I said I would leave the house (I have been a stay at home mom for about 7-8 years) and we would keep the kids equally, so I went to stay at my older sisters house. 1 week later he tells me maybe we should make this separation more permanent, I said if this is your way of saying you want a divorce then lets divorce I do not want to be with someone that does not want to be with me..he says so you mean that if I change my mind later than thats it...Now forward another week or so halloween morning I had my boys with me the night before and 2 of the older boys needed something from the house and I had mentioned this to him that night and he says don't worry I will take it over in the morning well he never came or called so I had called several times and decided to drive over since I still had the house keys..I pull up there is a car in front...still not thinking anything...walk in with my kids I walk up stairs and he walks out of the master bedroom and shuts the door behind him...I said why did you shut the door? is there somebody there? the kids are right there he's trying to ignore me talking with them I walk in....there is somebody in MY bed!!! I turned to him in the hall and say you're serious? a lot of bad words are coming out of my mouth..and I slap him a few times...I walk back in to the skank and say who are you? You know who I am, she says...It is his bosses daughter!!!!
I was livid!! I told them they were screwd..the kids are screaming and crying at him..How could you do this to us!!! so that day I met with the boss we both are close to him..and I tell him well he fires both of them...my husband begged me to listen to him and at first he was very ugly and upset blaming me for EVERYTHING and soon he says that he was so sorry and even gives me a hug?????
needless to say my life was turned upside down..I can't even imagine being with anyone...and here he is bringing some easy young girl into my bed that I barely stopped sleeping in a few weeks before!!!!
Its the holidays now and I feel miserable! but I have to be strong for my kids..but believe me when they are not with me or asleep I cry and cry about this whole situation and all this heartache that I feel I do not deserve!
How are you feeling about the holidays..how was thanksgiving for you?...this is what I tell myself if I have been having a hard day or I've been crying...Tomorrow will be better than today.
if you would like to e-mail me instead...my address is
jjenn333yahoo.com
talk to you soon.

HI Passion I am using the name Jenny so I'll keep it at that for now...I was reading your separation problems and sympathize greatly! I am going through a very similar situation and reading how you are feeling at times was almost like I could've have written those same words..I am in EXTREME pain as well! I would like it if we could exchange our stories and support each other when we fell like venting or just writing about anything. Let me know..here for you..Jenny