SO disgusted and frustrated .. what to do?

**MentalPaused Out** · 01-22-2012 12:30 PM

Hello everyone,

I am a 44 yr old woman, currently so frustrated and disgusted with so many health issues that seem to be just adding up one by one as i increase with age.

I have always had to deal with an under active thyroid and all the symptoms that go along with that,.. Now to add along to that, I have been told I am in menopause, in 2010... in July of 2011, I started getting my monthly period every two weeks, I constantly have a twinge in my lower sides ( ovary areas ), a knife stabbing feeling in my vagina, fatigue, headaches, from time to time my heart feels like it is going to beat out of my chest, dizziness., pain sometimes in the rectal area my sexual drive is non existent which does wonders for my marriage..not, if that isn't draining enough , it would appear now no matter what I eat, I immediately get a stomach ache, my ribs hurt , and i get a discomfort on my left side right under my rib area, the constant gas and bloating is annoying as well.

I have been to an obgyn, who suggests either an ablation or a partial hysterectomy, my pap came back normal but the dr mentioned endometriosis , he said it was because he did my pap during my period,.. On the visit that he did the pap, he also did what he called an equivalent of a d & C in the office and took a sample of something, (omg so painful) everything came back ok.

at that time is when he recommended either one of the above procedures,.. I had to cancel because of our health insurance deductible being so high, the cost of either of the procedures at this time scares me to death,.. but i guess I can no longer put off my health, which each month that passes I feel more drained, and now depressed,.. I am currently not working, but I do have two daughters that I run around to many after school activities, I cook, clean, run the house, take care of the bills, while helping other family members, I just don't have time to be down, or laid up..

Has any other woman experienced any of this,.. I will add my younger sister 24 and my older sister 48 had just both had to had ablations in the past year, like two months apart, then this start happening to me, is any of this hereditary? why in a matter of a few months would us three sisters of all different ages be dealing with almost the same issues? The same goes for our thyroids, my older sister who never had a thyroid issue had thyroid cancer, our younger brother (29) has a thyroid issues under active, even my mothers' bulldog has to be treated for his under active thyroid,.. I tried to look on line to see if there was a common factor in all this, like well water, etc.. we had all lived on the same land in different homes for 27 years..

Crazy, baffling and oh so frustrating..Any advice? If would be so greatly appreciated I am truly at my wits end :*(

I would just like to add to my above post, that I am the rock that holds my family together, I am the one everyone else comes to for help or advice, how can I help everyone else if I myself am falling apart at the seams.. I can't talk to my husband, he replies are always the same, I wish I could help you hun.. When I talk to my Mom, and tell her how i am feeling it just makes her worry more about me and I in no way want that, my older sister has enough going on in her life and my younger sister has her own health issues, I just don't want to bother anyone.. but as i said I am getting more depressed as the days pass by.. I do go back to the drs on the 31st of this month, i will have to make a choice on what to do, I have two beautiful daughters to raise, I have to start taking care of myself now ...but everyday i just want to sleep my days away and when i don't feel like that I just want to sit and cry.. my concentration sucks big time..

**acerousme** · 01-22-2012 02:25 PM

Hey there.

Okay, one...you DONT have to help anybody but yourself. I know that because I am pretty much in the same boat ( Im 22, have 3 tumors on my pituitary gland, endometriosis, and apparently lupus as well...oh and I JUST went through my very first bout of kidney stones..yay). You have to let your family help you and offer support. Your husband is saying that because hes not sure what he can do. Give him options like "You know what would really help? if you gave me a hug, or if you did laundry today".

Don't let your health get you down. Yeah, sometimes it can be SUPER tough, and you may want to stay in bed but then your illness wins, and everybody else loses.

Keep fighting, sweetheat. You've already made it 44 years. Dont lose hope now

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-22-2012 04:17 PM

Sounds like you have no one to depend upon as people see you as "tough" and can look after yourself, when really that may be the case, but we all need "someone" to turn to when it all gets too much.

I can only offer you this Forum, but maybe you can seek outside help? A Councellor just for the purpose of letting it all out and healing.. The more you worry, the more things go wrong.. Stress is your worst enemy.

CW

**stariana** · 01-23-2012 12:53 PM

Hello there ..... I suffered for years with endometriosis, then adenomiosis, had babies to take care of, my husband at the time was an addict so he wasn't too much help, and i felt the exact same way --- how can i have surgery if i'm going to be out of commission, who will do everything??!!!???? It is horribly scary to think about, which adds to your stress.

Remember one thing, and one thing only - the longer you put off taking care of yourself, the worse you will feel, and the stress will only get worse, because you will only feel worse. Take your doctors advise, or get a second opinion, but be proactive regarding your health. The quicker you take care of any issues that are treatable, the sooner you will feel better. Then, once healed, you WILL be able to be the supermom, superwife, superwoman you are!

**Oenone001** · 03-06-2012 01:55 AM

You need a support group to let it out,we can listen here and just be your friend. If you have someone close by it would be very helpful. You are strong and courageous so I know you'll emerge as a tougher but braver woman.

**klbofthewest** · 05-19-2012 08:55 AM

Dear Mentalpaused Out,

You are going through a lot and I hope the last few months have been good to you and you are feeling better. I'm not experiencing the exact same problems but I have recently been experiencing a lot of different health problems at once and yesterday the nurse practitioner said I needed to have a pelvic ultrasound b/c I started having periods again after menopause. She said don't worry but there is a risk of uterine cancer. Ok, of course I'm worrying now!

And all of these multiple health problems makes me feel overwhelmed and I start to feel like I can't cope. Then I begin to worry how am I going to be a good wife and friend and daughter/sister, etc. and handle my full time job. It can feel like everything is spiraling out of control.
But I am working on developing a good attitude which goes a long way in coping with my problems. Also it's important to address each problem and find solutions. And doing good things for yourself is also very important. Yesterday I took off early from my job and went to the hot tub! Talk about feeling great afterwards. It also relaxed my mind.

You mentioned you have an under active thyroid. Are you taking medication to bring your thyroid up to normal levels? That is so very important. I had my thyroid completely removed back in 1984 b/c the dr. thought I had thyroid cancer (turned out to be a goiter). I take medication every day religiously. The thyroid does so much for us and having proper thyroid levels is very important. I also have a blood test every six months to a year to check my thyroid levels. I strongly suggest you get your thyroid levels under control.

Menopause for me or the whole perimenopause experience hasn't been tough at all. However whenever I began having symptoms I tried to embrace it and deal with it and find solutions. So for instance for about 1 year I would wake up at 4:00 a.m. every morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I was tired a lot throughout the day. I would try to go to bed a little earlier every night and when I woke up I would stay relaxed and worked through it. I would listen to music, or read a book or sometimes would just fantasize about things (or most likely get on the internet). Sometimes I would drift off to sleep sometimes I wouldn't. Sometimes I would take a Xanax to relax.

But being in pain is the toughest thing to cope with and right now I'm in lots of pain over several bulging disks in my lower back. And I'm dealing with the fear of cancer and I have a swollen right toe due to osteoarthritis. And it sounds like your menopause symptoms and depression are causing you lots of pain. So please take one step at a time. Educate yourself on your conditions to help make the best decision for yourself, try to get out of pain and take time for yourself and give yourself permission to say no, or to do nothing but relax. Eating healthy can make you feel better too.

So good luck and hope to hear that things are going great for you!