Hi MDSAGIRL, welcome to our Forum.
I think that some women get it harder than others. Hot flashes, can be mild or they can go to the extreme, by way of excessive sweating.
The loss of estrogen is the problem. I would suggest you attend the Doctors and get a blood test to determine the level of estrogen in your body and follow their advice, of replacement of same.
We, as women should not have to go through this alone. If you don't want to take drugs and I fully understand that, seek alternatives available at Health Shops.