Thread: PMDD is ruining my life. I'm so tired of being ashamed of myself.

Originally Posted by hudsonagain

I have suffered from PMDD for over 20 years and this is the very first time I am talking about it. All of my adult life I have known that something was seriously wrong with me emotionally. I have single handedly destroyed every relationship I have ever had and my current relationship is teetering on the edge. Most of the month I am "normal". Then for 3 days I loose my mind. It's like a switch goes off/on. One minute I'll be fine and then BAM! It will end as abruptly as it begins. Let me begin by listing my symptoms:
1. Hysteria - crying for hours
2. Hallucinations
3. Inability to rationalize
4. Violent/Angry Outbursts
5. Suicidal thoughts
6. Debilitating migranes (I feel like my head is being crushed)
7. Heart palpitations
8. Dizzy/blurred vision/disrupted speech
9. Self loathing
10. Hatred for everyone around me

Just writing these things is making me want to vomit because I feel so ashamed. I can't live like this anymore. I've tried taking antidepressants (Lexapro and Celexa but of course, not being honest as to why I needed them) and it didn't help - my PMDD broke through every time. I can't take birth control pills because I have issues with blood clots.

I had an ablation in December 07 and my PMDD seemed get better for several months following but then it returned with a vengence.
I've had my hormones and thyroid checked. There is a history of thyroid disease in my family but I always check out ok.

I read on this board that having a hysterectomy might work for PMDD sufferers. Is there anyone out there who has been cured of PMDD? I'm so tired of living like this.

I wish I had some news for you that would help. What I do have is a little encouragement. If anything this and other boards should tell you that you are not alone... and for heavens sake.. dont be ashamed. Half the worlds population deals with periods during their lives and we cant all be the same. Some are harder. You have access to a medical system, get it to work for you and keep demanding tests and trial treatments. This is your sanity - dont spend even one more month feeling bad about this.. spend that energy resolving to find a balance. There is one. Find a doctor you can be honest with. I swear you will never regret spitting out the truth.

Hello, I really identified with your post. I am 20 years of age and I now realize I have had PMDD since my periods started at 13. My doctor and mother have agreed that that was what it was for years that was causing my monthly outbursts but I have been in denial. Reading your post is like reading my own thoughts. I am really thankful for your honesty. The guilt after I have acted like a crazy banshee is awful I just simply forget about it until the next one hits me. Because it happens every month it makes people feel on edge around you. Every symptom you listed apart from migraines and hallucinations I experience. I do sometimes fantasize about how simple life would be if I had a hysterectomy. Im sorry I don't know the answer to your question of a cure. The cure seems to be management of the condition. I had some luck taking the herb called Magnolia Phellodendron which calmed me down. I had no luck with SSRIs or contraceptive pills, like you the PMDD broke through at a climax every month a few days before my period. I was thinking if I got a coil implanted it might stop the cycle. Maybe that would work for you? A hysterectomy and an ovarectomy would definately do the trick and that's about as far as my biology knowledge and research go!! But how many doctors would do that for you? Unless you had cancer? And therein lies the problem. It is extreme but I empathize. For me, the most stressful thing was coming off the antidepressants that I got hooked on from being 15 because the doctors had no idea what was causing my insane unexpected panic attacks. It was PMDD. The withdrawal was like having a continuous episode of PMDD.

Good Luck with finding your cure. If I find one for me I will definately tell you about it!

I must say thank you to all you wonderful ladies (absolutely not for the disorder ofcourse )but for making me realize that for the past year I haven't been going crazy. All the symptoms that were named above I pretty much have been experiencing most severely the past two months. I am 24 years old and get my period 4 times a year so you can only imagine that these symptoms have changed everything in my life. Being absolutely terrified of pills have made it all worse. I see my doctor( which is easily accessible to me) at least several times a month making excuses for other medical problems knowing its my menstrual problem trying to avoid birth control because of the side effects. I've become terrified of everything. I cannot commit to anyone or anything because I don't want to leave my bed. I've become mean and feel like I want to quit my job everyday because I can't concentrate at all. Im living in a cloud with cramps and no flow. Im pretty sure its pmdd I was given gianvi the generic for yaz but im stalling what do I do?