Your Daughter may need counsling to deal with the issues that are bothering her and she might actually like it after she goes a couple of times. in counsling she can let out all thats bothering her get one on one attention and its private.if it gets worse you might have to consider more extreme help.
she probably know that what she is doing if wrong but doesnt know what to do to stop it.
That was my problem I knew what i was doing and feeling were wrong i knew i needed help but couldnt quite get the haelp i wanted. Dad put me away where i got one to one attention and care to get over and deal with the issues that where causing me to be depressed and self harming. I know that medicatio helped me but it is not a cure or that it works for every one. With me it helped with some of the symptoms enough to help me learn to cope with what was actually bothering me. I still today think about cutting or i even get depressed now and then but i have been off meds for 3 years now and i am dealing with my emotions in a healthy way.

so dont give up there is always hope. My dad use to say hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
I hated thate he said that but i understood what he ment also. let her knoe that you love her and that you may not know what she is going through but you are there for her none the less and remind she is not alone. there are other people going through simaluar situations who have simaluar feelings.
THERE IS STILL HOPE. DONT GIVE UP AND DONT GIVE IN!

with what u said about the blood ruining down your arm thats exactly how i feel.

ONEKULEMOM......... I saw your message and feel the need to reply. I am 23 and started self halming around 9 yrs ago. It has always been burning myself, i think it started off as a bit of attention seeking, i would always say i'd done it 'on the grills at work' etc, but i never really got shown much concern so i then used to do it as it somehow released some of the frustration i was feeling. My mum and dad split when i was a toddler and have both remarried and had children since, i therefore felt completely in the way and felt i was the only thing tying the two famillies together, i loved my dad to bits but never saw him much and i never really got on with my mum or step dad and i think i now see that it was because i was never showed any love, dont get me wrong i never went without anything ie clothes etc but seeing friends with their famillies really hurt cos it wasnt like that at home. I think from your message, this isnt the case for your daughter but i do relate to some of the things you have noted i.e never saying no to friends, sleeping all the time, chat rooms and obviously self harm.
A question i have to ask is, you say 'she has everything she could ever want'..... i had that, clothes, money etc but is she shown love?.... Don't take that the wrong way, its just from my experience, instead of a hug and kiss, i was given a pound to spend at the shops. All well and good but i now feel like i needed that bit of motherly love and its gone. I met a lovely lady at work who noticed my symptoms and took me under her wing, treated me like a daughter and now i feel like she has shown me more love than my birth mother. I also have an eating disorder and depression & i would advise that you talk to your daughter, listen to her and try to understand how she is feeling, i would then suggest going to the doctors, they can refer her to a physcoligist (cant spell!) on the nhs i got 13...... 50 mins sessions,it'd prob be more benificial to ur daughter than me as i have a lot of other situations that took time to get thru. However, should you need any help...... i have quite a good book that i had to get... let me know if you want me to send it.
I would also like to say............ you did the RIGHT thing leaving your husband, you didnt deserve the emotional abuse, don't ever forget........ You got youself out of it and i know it must not have been easy after a long time but you did it and you should be proud of yourself.
Your daughter needs you now, she is crying out for help - everyone wants a mum and dad and when the seperation happens, its hard to adjust.....BUT, YOU can get through this with a little help. Be strong and be 'emotionally' there for your daughter. Just by posting this message you are showing your love for your daughter, i respect you for that..... just please make sure she knows it x x x x x x x x x x x x