Feeling too much

**DarknessEmbraced** · 11-02-2008 09:39 PM

I am one of those people who feels things very deeply. There are no half way measures for me when it comes to emotions.

The positive in this is that I am very empathetic to the pain of others and also I feel the positive emotions really intensely.

The downside is that I tend to feel the emotions(positive and negative) of the people with whom I am close. I can sometimes feel overwhelmed by their emotions if I let it get out of hand. I have been told that I am too sensitive. I find that when things become too much for me I become numb for a while and can no longer feel anything. I started out feeling gloomy today for no reason and then the numbness set in. I seem to be slowly coming out of it.

Is there a way that I can feel things less intensely and be a little less sensitive? I still want to be sensitive to the needs of others though. I find it fulfilling to help others. Is this just a part of my personality that will never change?

Thanks for listening.

**WildChild** · 11-02-2008 11:38 PM

There are several books available about Highly Sensitive People (HSPs). I am one, as are both my children. I'll bet you are one. HSPs make up about 10% of any population, human, deer, dogs - whatever. We have special concerns and needs and are very important to the survival of the group. We are rather like the carnaries in the coal mine - we are aware of things before every body else. Understanding what you are really helps. Many are empathic and have to learn to filter or block the emotions that other people generate. Get to Amazon or your local book store and get a book two to educate yourself about this. It really helps.

**DarknessEmbraced** · 11-02-2008 11:50 PM

Thanks for the reply WildChild! I never knew there was actually a name for it. I'll have to find books as well as do research online in order to better educate myself. My mother told me that I needed a thicker skin.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-03-2008 12:26 AM

People need, people like you...

Someone to listen to, someone to help them.

However, it can be extremely draining when other's are down and sharing their problems and can be extremely rewarding when they are sharing their happiness and joy.

The gloom, i think is when there is too much negativity going on and it tends to bring you down with it/them.

I personally, try to ensure my natural life, that being day to day in-front of people and friends, is surrounded with "positive people".. If you allow negative people into your life daily they will consume you.

Perhaps you need to look also at the negative people in your life and ask yourself do they ever talk positive? Or, do they constantly bring you down? If so, you have to consider excluding them slowly from your life.

CW

**DarknessEmbraced** · 11-03-2008 12:40 AM

Thanks CW. I will keep that in mind. I'm not really around anyone who is negative all of the time. My mother can be negative and judgmental much of the time which is why I limit my time with her. I find being around her usually causes me stress.

**Weezer** · 11-05-2008 05:20 AM

Learn what your limitations are, as in you already know what your mom does to you and you've set boundries to protect yourself...I too have a mother who is also as you described. She blames others for me not coming around very often. I feel its best at her age that I don't voice my true feelings of why I stay away.

There are lots of people who need the support of HSP's, but as CW has said we need to be very careful that we don't get drained. I have come close several times at being completely drained. I allowed myself to feel the pain and hurt so deeply that it just about pulled me under.
I have had to learn when to pull back just a bit to be able to breath and rejuvenate myself.

Learn your limitations, then learn how to protect oneself when it gets to be too much. Remember, we need to save ourselves first before we can begin to assist others.

**DarknessEmbraced** · 11-05-2008 09:28 PM

Good point Weezer. We need to take time for ourselves as well because if we're drained we're not helping. We need to nurture ourselves as well. I do the best that I can. It's not always easy. It seems when I reach my limit that I involuntarily shut down and feel numb for a while.

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