Years past & I'm still friendless

**LonelyDaisy** · 12-05-2008 02:14 PM

I haven't had any friends for a very long time, I've been very much alone. The last friends I had was 10yrs ago and they backstabbed me. Now because of it I 've suffered from depression. whenever I see a group of friends laughing & talking I get real bitter

, so I ended up going elsewhere to be by myself. I don't know how to make new friends, I'm not very good at making conversation.

I hate going places by myself & I don't get along with my family, they treat me like so I pretty much don't get in touch with them either. I don't know if I can continue living like this. If I suffer any longer I'm going to have to find a way to put myself out of my misery..

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-05-2008 03:40 PM

Daisy, welcome to the site.

You know the internet is a good place to start... It allows you to be you, speak as you want to, you are anonoymous and therefore, no one can judge you, rather talk to you.

Have you tried joining sites of interest to you? You must have hobbies as well?

Are you working, what do you do outside of running and hiding...

10 years is too long to sit yourself in a corner and be frightened of this world.

Start, with talking here... We would like to be your friend.

CW

**hayleyf605** · 12-06-2008 11:10 AM

there's always lots of people out there looking for real friends. if you struggle to make conversation it might help if you try a class in something you enjoy you'll already be around like-minded people which will help get over that initial barrier

**porter8276** · 12-06-2008 05:31 PM

i know what your going through i had my first child at 20 and after that all my friend just left me. my family i try to avoid as much as possible. they only call when they need something. i manly just sit at home with my children and husband. i really dont even try to make friends anymore i always feel out of place.

**Joy** · 12-06-2008 06:35 PM

I would suggest you forgive your friend that betrayed you and move on..... once that healing takes place you might find it alot easier to make friends and they might be drawn to you.

I wish you the best of luck and i hope you make lots of friends here

**LonelyDaisy** · 12-07-2008 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by Joy

I would suggest you forgive your friend that betrayed you and move on..... once that healing takes place you might find it alot easier to make friends and they might be drawn to you.

I'm sorry to say that I will never forgive people who hurt me. Too many times I've forgiving people who hurt me and still I get stabbed in the back.. Now I don't know if I can trust anyone anymore. Maybe I'm better off alone..

**Joy** · 12-07-2008 12:49 PM

Well forgiving them doesn't release them from what they did to you.......... IT RELEASES you from the pain and allows you to move on and let go of that phase in your life.

Because you have forgiven them doesn't mean you must have any contact with them but your are then free to make new friendships without all the hangups such as are people out to hurt you and get you.

In the end you must make the choices that suit your life good luck

**WildChild** · 12-07-2008 10:43 PM

Until you let go of this by forgiving, you won't move forward. You do get what you give, if you give fear, distrust, anger, you won't get freindship. You have to be willing to open up and trust. WE chose the people we let into out lives. You carry some of the responsiblity for the 'freinds' you had. Did they talk behind other's backs? betray other's secrets? Did you participate in that? People rarely single out just one person for that sort of treatment, it is usually a bad habit they have. But you have to be a good freind to get a good freind. Your anger will turn others away. Get into counseling, you need someone to help you work through this.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-07-2008 11:21 PM

Originally Posted by LonelyDaisy

I'm sorry to say that I will never forgive people who hurt me. Too many times I've forgiving people who hurt me and still I get stabbed in the back.. Now I don't know if I can trust anyone anymore. Maybe I'm better off alone..

Are these things that have been said to you? Or that you have said to a friend....

If they are things that you have said, then seems to me that they were not friends, rather people you trusted and tried to be friends with, and they let you down, hurt you...

True friends you can count on your fingers, you really can... And, friendships much like relationships take time...

Take your time before opening up to anyone, and get to know them and you will note whether or not you are becoming friends and slowly you will build a trust again.

You MUST let go of that anger, that pain, that hurt and WC is right, a good way is to try councelling you can't carry this on your shoulders ..

CW

**LonelyDaisy** · 12-08-2008 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by Joy

I would suggest you forgive your friend that betrayed you and move on..... once that healing takes place you might find it alot easier to make friends and they might be drawn to you.

Originally Posted by WildChild

Until you let go of this by forgiving, you won't move forward. You do get what you give, if you give fear, distrust, anger, you won't get freindship. You have to be willing to open up and trust. WE chose the people we let into out lives. You carry some of the responsiblity for the 'freinds' you had. Did they talk behind other's backs? betray other's secrets? Did you participate in that? People rarely single out just one person for that sort of treatment, it is usually a bad habit they have. But you have to be a good freind to get a good freind. Your anger will turn others away. Get into counseling, you need someone to help you work through this.

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

You MUST let go of that anger, that pain, that hurt and WC is right, a good way is to try councelling you can't carry this on your shoulders ..
CW

I thought the responses from other forums were bad enough, but the responses here are really pathetic.. I never heard such (deleted by mod) your asking me to kiss people's (deleted by mod).. Sorry, I'm not going to continue being a friggin doormat!! I also had enough of therapists, I'm not wasting anymore time and money on these pathetic shrinks... I have every right to be angry & bitter.. If that means I will never make new friends then so be it..
Friends take advantage anyway!!