zoey12

I am very unhappy in my life right now... I meet a guy we dated for about 2 years and during the last month we were together I became pregnant. I am 21 and didn't feel ready but at the same time I loved this man and didn't really want to have an abortion. He didn't force me to but basically didn't want a baby right now. It has been about 5 months since, he broke up with me a few weeks after the abortion which was very tough to deal with and still is.. he still calls everyday and I just don't know what to do, he is in a part of his life where I guess he wants to just do his thing for a while so whatever. During this time I feel as though I am alone I can't talk about my feeling or regret of what I have done. I don't think anyone will ever love me again because I am just unsuccessful in that department and I have tried but dont feel attraction or anything for any other guy. I made the biggest mistake of my life and can't let it go.. I can't believe I did that. Now I feel like I wish I was dead, like I don't deserve to live. I have done nothing to help the world. Just money problems and the same pathetic life I have been trapped in. I don't want to kill myself but sometimes wish something would happen to me and it would kill me... sorry for rambling on im just at the end of hope in my life... theres just nothing.. I also don't want to hear that time will heal things because it hasn't.. if anything it's just gotten worse..

robbin

you need to not think about what could have been. i don't feel, that what you did was bad in anyway at all!!! i know it's hard for you. i know. i think it would be best to just not think about love or relationships. you need to heal, you hurt yourself and you feel like you betrayed someone and got betrayed in return. i don't think it would be good to keep talking to him. you need to let him do his own thing and give yourself at least a year to heal emotionally before talking to him. i know you want to hear his voice. it makes you feel better... but it really isn't. its making you feel worse.

if you have a best friend, call her, depend on her alot right now. if you don't depend on me. write to me i will write back. if you need. you can call me instead of calling this guy.

i know it's kinda wierd for some stranger to say hey call me. but if you don't have someone you feel comfortable talking with, then you need someone!! so im here. just try to think about the good.


i know its hard. i lost my job mid december. i was not abole to get any toys for my guy's little boy. and i was the one who was supposed to get all his christmas gifts. i was told that i don't qualify for unemployment, and no one is hiring. all my bills have gone to collections, i lost my health insurrance and car insurance, im about to lose my phone... i've been trying to keep my chin up. but like today, it was a good day, i got up and exercised, and then turned in apps and someone caiied and asked to interview me tomorrow. when i got home i backed into my boyfriend's car. no damamge, but still a whole days worth of good ruined. i called my best friend's voicemail and cried till it hung up on me and i really do feel quite a bit better.

CHANDLERS WISH

Life has away for all to go wrong at once, so that it's all out of the way, and new beginnings takes place, trust me, I know.

There are so many hurdles to jump, obstacles put in your way, you have to keep jumping them...

One day,they seem to disappear and with that comes happiness and fulfillment.

Somethings happen for a reason in life and now may not have been your time, yet tomorrow will be.

In other words, "from all negative things", comes positives and you must look only at the positives.

CW

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Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

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happy ending

robbin good luck with the job, money worries are the pits!!

robbin

yeah thanks happy. well i have an interview today not the job of my dreams, but not mc donalds either. so i hope i get it!

hayleyf605

Hi there,

Please don't ever feel alone, there are people out there who care and who you can talk to. I bet that there are family members who are worried about you and I would encourage you to open up. The fact that you've managed to post here is a big step. Talking about things is the key; I'm afraid that the chiche is sort of true: time does heal. The fact that you're still feeing bad suggests that there issues that you've still got to deal with, think through and accept. Once you do that you will be ready to move on slowly and whilst it won't eradicate any pain that you feel, it will make day to day things easier and give you that hope you're searching for. The key is to talk. x

Tuesday

Adding to the wise words that have already been said to you, I would recommend that you go to your GP about your depression, and enquire about support groups or charities who deal with depression and trauma, who may be able to offer free counselling (pending a waiting list). Seek professional help as well as the support of your friends and family.

CHANDLERS WISH

I want to add.

21 is still young but if the guy and you were meant to be? Then you would have gone down the path of having the child.

This sounds horrible I know but think.... He wasn't ready and didn't force you but put suggestions and probably from your love for him you went in those directions but he wasn't there for you in the pain of doing so.. He wasn't there for you in the understanding of how hard it was.

When it was over, he came back, contacting you...

Do you think this man deserves you?

You are young, you are special and you have learnt that someone, didn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

He should have held your hand, been there through it and then been there after, he chose "after" .

As I said, this is hard to listen to but it's a fact.

Please, be happy that you are free and that you can start again and find the man that you deserve, one that says it's your choice, but stands by you all the way through, not coming in at the end.

You are blessed to know what this man was ...

And there is better.

Don't, I repeat, don't beat yourself up over what you did.

Understand that if this is what you faced now? Then imagine all that you would have faced had you had the child, when he left you lonely , depressed further and handling a child on you own.

No one will hate you for that... You did what you did and had no one next to you supporting you, the other person that created that situation.

Please don't take him back, he is not worth the spit on the ground that you spit on, in anger.

CW

__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

Register! | Rules/FAQ | Contact Mod

WildChild

Don't go getting yourself on meds to deal with this, you'll be stuck on them for years. Sometimes we just have to deal with things, including our feelings. There is no reason for you to feel badly over this unless you chose to. You did what was right for you at this time. This young man obviously cares and feels concern for you even if he doesn't want to be in a committed relationship right now. For the future get and use BC.

Do some positive affirmations daily. Put a smile on your face - you'll do better in the job market and life if you do. You are young and have many opportunities ahead of you!

mewhenim

there is nothing wrong with taking medications. Sometimes we all need a little help. I took them for about 6 months after my husband left me and am finally almost entirely on my feet again. I found the depression help lines help. You don't even have to say a whole lot, it's just someone to talk to, untill you're ok to try and deal by yourself. It's really hard and you need to take all the help you can get. I left my life for 3 months and lived with my mum for a while. Was a little awkward but at least I felt like a had some support and didn't have to do anything untill I was ready. My husband left me in the emergency room after I overdosed 'cause he didn't want to have to wait around... Yet for some reason I still felt better hearing his voice, or so I thought, but every time I talked to him I was reminded of all the pain.

Distance yourself from what has happened and go back and deal with it when you are ok emotionally and strong enough to do so. Take all the help you can get.