Sally- I am going to second Wild Child on some things. You are not living...you are existing. You don't sound like you like your job and it doesn't sound like you have many social contacts. If these observations are incorrect then I apologize. What I see from what you write, though, is that you don't see yourself as a worthy person contributing to anything meaningful. Every person in this world was created with a purpose. No matter how big or small the contribution, it has meaning. You are worth more then you give yourself credit for, but somewhere along the way you stopped believing that. Maybe it was something someone said or did to you, and if that is the case, my question is...Why would you give someone that kind of power over your life? I am not devaluing your feelings, you have the right to feel what you feel. I really more want to raise your awareness at the power you are giving other people in running your life and affecting your decisions. Therapy may not be your cup of tea, or maybe you are not ready to face your demons- either way it is ok. You will in time. In the meantime, try and find another way to express you pain and sadness rather than taking it out on yourself. Find your worth. Start a new career or go to school, find your passion and figure out how to make money at it so that you have a focus in your life-away from your sadness. I really wish you the best. Someone close to me was a cutter and it broke my heart to watch her think so little of herself and to give her power away. She eventually overcame it, but with a huge price. I hope you can find the strength within yourself to love and appreciate who you are and what you have to offer. You really are worth the investment...



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