I'm a cutter

**sallyskellington** · 03-25-2009, 08:58 AM

It's something that now a days is all to common. I am a little different bc while yes I do sometimes cut my arms, my main focus is on my breasts. I know it may sound a little strange to some of you but for me it is my way of making myself feel better about hating my breasts.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-25-2009, 04:03 PM

Unfortunately that made sense to me.

But your young and you don't want scars there left right and centre later and there is nothing wrong with your breasts ask all the girls here, ask me, it sucks walking around not finding tops that don't fit cause your breasts are a little bigger than A cup, or having to wear bras all the time, or your nipples are dark and so you can't wear white without a bra, or they hurt when you walk, run, that time of the month.

We all hate something about our bodies but you need to look in the mirror and actually realise that your beautiful from head to toe and be proud of who you are, what Mother Nature gave you...

CW

**Little** · 03-25-2009, 04:09 PM

When I cut, I cut my breasts and hips. It "doesn't make sense," and yet it did.
Do you want to stop? Do you want help stopping? What is it about the cutting that makes you want to do it?
I used to cut to "calm myself down." However, I eventually realized that cutting would only wind me up more with the adrenaline and everything. It was obviously not as simple as that to cut, but having more than a year behind me since my last recurrence, I feel proud of myself. Even if you go just a few days, weeks, or months, you should feel proud of yourself and know it is a step to recovery.
Those who "stop" cutting are like addicts ... really, you are fighting every time you get upset to NOT self-destruct. Do not destroy yourself.

**sallyskellington** · 03-25-2009, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Unfortunately that made sense to me.

But your young and you don't want scars there left right and centre later and there is nothing wrong with your breasts ask all the girls here, ask me, it sucks walking around not finding tops that don't fit cause your breasts are a little bigger than A cup, or having to wear bras all the time, or your nipples are dark and so you can't wear white without a bra, or they hurt when you walk, run, that time of the month.

We all hate something about our bodies but you need to look in the mirror and actually realise that your beautiful from head to toe and be proud of who you are, what Mother Nature gave you...

CW

I feel like it sucks having the body of a 12yr old boy.
The problem is I don't feel beautiful like ever. I like my eyes and that is about it. I if I could would have plastic surgery on 95% my body.

**sallyskellington** · 03-25-2009, 05:40 PM

To little
sometimes I wanna stop but other times it feels so good to be in control. I cut for two main reasons one bc it calms me down I usually freak out and cut until I where myself out and litterally need to sleep and the other is I hate my boobs so much I feel like I need to punish myself for being so flat and worthless. It sounds crazy I know but it just makes me feel so good.

**Debra** · 03-26-2009, 07:05 AM

Hon, cutting yourself is a physical outlet for hurting so bad inside. It's almost like you can't deal with the pain mentally, until you cut yourself physically. Then all the troubles and worries go out the door.

If you want to stop cutting yourself, then you need to address a brand new coping mechanism, and that is what cutting yourself has unfortunately become....a coping mechanism. Find a new outlet, i.e. excersize (hard, tiring one), calling up a friend, going to the movies....etc. Just find something to take that 'itch' away. If nothing seems to work and you truly want to stop then you may very well need to see a professional and find out why you hate your body so much.

A lot of times we like to say 'I hate this or that about my body.' Cutting those body parts unleashes a whole new meaning and that meaning usually involves a deeper anger or hatred about ourselves. A professional could help you unvail the true cause and get you the help that you need in order to overcome cutting yourself.

On another note: You look great to me and you have nothing to hate about yourself. You're absolutely beautiful and I truly hope that one day you'll see what everyone else sees: a bright, intelligent, beautiful woman.

**sallyskellington** · 03-26-2009, 08:04 AM

Deb

I have tried other outlets talking to my friends yeah.. they all are atleast a C cup so they don't understand and half the time my nonexistent chest is a joke anyway. Movies yeah as soon as I see someone pretty I freak and wanna hurt myself and exercise as soon as I see someone thinner at the gym same thing. It just feels so good to punish myself for not being good enough. I've gotten to the point where I don't like to go out in public or watch tv bc it triggers episodes. I really wish I could lock myself in my house and wither away. It's skrewy

**Joy** · 03-26-2009, 09:40 AM

Hunny you need professional help. You are beautiful and I don't know you but i'm sure if i did there are million other great qualities inside of you waiting to be discovered.

Your self worth is not based on what size cup your breasts are. I know TV and movies display women with big boobs that are full and deep cleavage but remember that is just fantasy.... some of those women have had surgery and the shape and size of their breasts are unrealistic.

I suggest you take up writing as an outlet... get that pain out on paper or your pc. Know that you are not alone and we are all fighting some type of inner battle with ourselves and our self image. Takings steps towards healing and recovering will bring you into alignment and acceptance of yourself.

Please write here when you are feeling overwhelmed to the point of cutting... don't abuse yourself you are worth so much more than that.

**WildChild** · 03-26-2009, 10:38 AM

This poen seems appropriate here, I found it in, The Heroines Journey

The Myth of Female Inferiority

The best slave
does not need to be beaten.
She beats herself.

Not with a leather whip,
or with sticks or twigs,
not with a blackjack
or a billy club,
but with the fine whip
of her own tongue
& the subtle beating
of her mind against her mind.

For who can hate her half so well
as she hates herself?
and who can match the finesse
of her self abuse?

Years of training
are required for this.
Erica Jong, "Alcestis on the Peotry Circuit"

**sallyskellington** · 03-26-2009, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joy

Hunny you need professional help. You are beautiful and I don't know you but i'm sure if i did there are million other great qualities inside of you waiting to be discovered.

Your self worth is not based on what size cup your breasts are. I know TV and movies display women with big boobs that are full and deep cleavage but remember that is just fantasy.... some of those women have had surgery and the shape and size of their breasts are unrealistic.

I suggest you take up writing as an outlet... get that pain out on paper or your pc. Know that you are not alone and we are all fighting some type of inner battle with ourselves and our self image. Takings steps towards healing and recovering will bring you into alignment and acceptance of yourself.

Please write here when you are feeling overwhelmed to the point of cutting... don't abuse yourself you are worth so much more than that.

I know it shouldn't be, but I feel so unfem bc of it. I am I guess an alternative dresser. Meaning most of my clothes come from concerts or hottopic. I am not overly girl I don't where skirts*unless they are with fishnets and combat boots* it just doesn't interest me. I just feel like I have the body of a dude. And am ashamed of it.
Whats wrong with fantasy? I wanna be that fantasy girl that every guy that walks into a bar wants to nail. I don't know I see nothing wrong with being all plastic. I am just to chicken to do it bc of so many plastic surgeries gone wrong (tara reid) and plus I don't scar well.

03-25-2009, 08:58 AM	#1
sallyskellington Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: long island NY Posts: 229 Blog Entries: 2	I'm a cutter It's something that now a days is all to common. I am a little different bc while yes I do sometimes cut my arms, my main focus is on my breasts. I know it may sound a little strange to some of you but for me it is my way of making myself feel better about hating my breasts.

03-25-2009, 04:03 PM	#2
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,959 Blog Entries: 7	Unfortunately that made sense to me. But your young and you don't want scars there left right and centre later and there is nothing wrong with your breasts ask all the girls here, ask me, it sucks walking around not finding tops that don't fit cause your breasts are a little bigger than A cup, or having to wear bras all the time, or your nipples are dark and so you can't wear white without a bra, or they hurt when you walk, run, that time of the month. We all hate something about our bodies but you need to look in the mirror and actually realise that your beautiful from head to toe and be proud of who you are, what Mother Nature gave you... CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

03-26-2009, 07:05 AM	#6
Debra VIP Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 76	Hon, cutting yourself is a physical outlet for hurting so bad inside. It's almost like you can't deal with the pain mentally, until you cut yourself physically. Then all the troubles and worries go out the door. If you want to stop cutting yourself, then you need to address a brand new coping mechanism, and that is what cutting yourself has unfortunately become....a coping mechanism. Find a new outlet, i.e. excersize (hard, tiring one), calling up a friend, going to the movies....etc. Just find something to take that 'itch' away. If nothing seems to work and you truly want to stop then you may very well need to see a professional and find out why you hate your body so much. A lot of times we like to say 'I hate this or that about my body.' Cutting those body parts unleashes a whole new meaning and that meaning usually involves a deeper anger or hatred about ourselves. A professional could help you unvail the true cause and get you the help that you need in order to overcome cutting yourself. On another note: You look great to me and you have nothing to hate about yourself. You're absolutely beautiful and I truly hope that one day you'll see what everyone else sees: a bright, intelligent, beautiful woman. __________________ Debra

03-26-2009, 10:38 AM	#9
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,233 Blog Entries: 5	Poem This poen seems appropriate here, I found it in, The Heroines Journey The Myth of Female Inferiority The best slave does not need to be beaten. She beats herself. Not with a leather whip, or with sticks or twigs, not with a blackjack or a billy club, but with the fine whip of her own tongue & the subtle beating of her mind against her mind. For who can hate her half so well as she hates herself? and who can match the finesse of her self abuse? Years of training are required for this. Erica Jong, "Alcestis on the Peotry Circuit"

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03-25-2009, 04:09 PM	#3
Little WH Junior Administrator Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: whjuniorad[at]hotmail[dot]com Posts: 1,559 Blog Entries: 4	When I cut, I cut my breasts and hips. It "doesn't make sense," and yet it did. Do you want to stop? Do you want help stopping? What is it about the cutting that makes you want to do it? I used to cut to "calm myself down." However, I eventually realized that cutting would only wind me up more with the adrenaline and everything. It was obviously not as simple as that to cut, but having more than a year behind me since my last recurrence, I feel proud of myself. Even if you go just a few days, weeks, or months, you should feel proud of yourself and know it is a step to recovery. Those who "stop" cutting are like addicts ... really, you are fighting every time you get upset to NOT self-destruct. Do not destroy yourself.

03-25-2009, 05:40 PM	#5
sallyskellington Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: long island NY Posts: 229 Blog Entries: 2	To little sometimes I wanna stop but other times it feels so good to be in control. I cut for two main reasons one bc it calms me down I usually freak out and cut until I where myself out and litterally need to sleep and the other is I hate my boobs so much I feel like I need to punish myself for being so flat and worthless. It sounds crazy I know but it just makes me feel so good.

03-26-2009, 08:04 AM	#7
sallyskellington Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: long island NY Posts: 229 Blog Entries: 2	Deb I have tried other outlets talking to my friends yeah.. they all are atleast a C cup so they don't understand and half the time my nonexistent chest is a joke anyway. Movies yeah as soon as I see someone pretty I freak and wanna hurt myself and exercise as soon as I see someone thinner at the gym same thing. It just feels so good to punish myself for not being good enough. I've gotten to the point where I don't like to go out in public or watch tv bc it triggers episodes. I really wish I could lock myself in my house and wither away. It's skrewy

03-26-2009, 09:40 AM	#8
Joy Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 625 Blog Entries: 5	Hunny you need professional help. You are beautiful and I don't know you but i'm sure if i did there are million other great qualities inside of you waiting to be discovered. Your self worth is not based on what size cup your breasts are. I know TV and movies display women with big boobs that are full and deep cleavage but remember that is just fantasy.... some of those women have had surgery and the shape and size of their breasts are unrealistic. I suggest you take up writing as an outlet... get that pain out on paper or your pc. Know that you are not alone and we are all fighting some type of inner battle with ourselves and our self image. Takings steps towards healing and recovering will bring you into alignment and acceptance of yourself. Please write here when you are feeling overwhelmed to the point of cutting... don't abuse yourself you are worth so much more than that.