lunasol21

Okay, I'm 17 years old. I started cutting when I was 12. I got my first period when I was 13. I'm not sure if there is a correlation between the two, or if it is just a coincidence as there were other things going on in my life. My mom says I'm very moody around my time, and I know I can be quite irritable. Like last night, I was livid because someone left the hall light on and woke me up at 2am, to the point that my anger kept me up till 3am. I don't really keep track of when my period comes, but I have a pretty good idea by how I feel and look. It's not uncommon for people to suspect me of pmsing before I realize it myself (because of my emotions or chocolate cravings). Last week I was great, now I'm restless and irritable (could this be the sleep deprivation?). I'm more likely to cut the week or two before my period, and when I get my period, I feel much better (aside from the bloating and acne). After the fact, I tend to feel like I was just pmsing and now I'm aware, I won't be so bad the next time-it's never true.

I'm reluctant to say my symptoms are severe, though I know the cutting isn't great. I don't really keep track of how I feel, when I feel it. I've just this year started to think there may be a connection. I've heard yaz can help with pmdd, if that is what I have, but then I have seen and heard some negative reviews. I want to go on birth control anyhow, and I think it may be worth it to try yaz and see if it helps..

Any thoughts? Do I need to explain why I want to try yaz, or can I just suggest it and try it?


Also, do you have to have a disorder to cut?


You can probably tell I'm really confused. I just want to stop being like this, and I'm tired of trying to find the cause.

DrearyDrear

I would suggest talking to a doc about the Yaz. If it's the same control I'm on, then it worked wonders at least making things predictable for me. I at least can pinpoint what days are going to be difficult for me. Ask them, say you've heard a lot of good things about Yaz and would like to consider it.

The cutting I can't help you with, the best I can suggest for you is perhaps asking your doctor to direct you to a service that can help you. I'm not sure what causes the impulse, but my younger sister went through it some many years ago and I don't want to resurface the topic with her unless she brings it up herself.

Joy

The cutting relievs anxiety. Look it up online and read about it. Behavior therapy can help you with taking that behavior and changing it into a more positive response to the anxiety.

maybe if you journaled and kept track of your thoughts and feelings around this time you can look back see the triggers and the patteren.

talk to your doctor about yaz and ask about a behavior therapist about the cutting.

There is lots of people to talk to here about your feelings . good luck keep writing

lunasol21

I more recently moved on to burning. Our power was out for a day, and I had the candle right there. I don't think I intended to burn myself the first time, but I did it three more times on my arm. Again, the week before. I just went on birth control Sunday, but not yaz. I really don't know what my problem is, but maybe it will help.

It's almost like I don't care anymore if people know (my parents being the exception). I went to school with the burns fully visible, and no one said a word.

Joy

You say you don't care if anyone notices. You don't want your parents to notice cause they would probably freak and be super scared of the behavior. No one at school notices......... Do you inflict pain /physical harm to yourself cause no one notices the mental pain you are suffering from they do not see the veil you are hiding it behind. If you scar your body up they might notice the physical pain that has manifested from the mental pain?

If the birthcontrol doesn't help the anxiety and stop the cutting and the burning you really need to find someone you trust to talk too. Keep writing here let us know how you are doing with the BC

lunasol21

My mom noticed today and asked what I did to my arm. However, I was talking to my dad and pretended I didn't hear her. She didn't bring it up again.

That sounds like I want attention, but yes. I kind of wish they would ask and notice and care. I feel like even my friends have no idea how I feel sometimes. I tell them, and they don't seem to take me seriously.

I only seem to hurt myself the week before-when I am trying to stop. Maybe it's just that that is when I am most vulnerable so I slip just enough to hurt myself. I'll see what happens next time.

Joy

Ok but see your mom was reaching out to you but you shut her down. Do you do this often to her? you say you want them to care but you shut her out when she asks. Teens do that to parents its part of the separation stage so your mom and dad if you keep shutting them down are just trying to respect boundaries and limits you are putting on your relationship.

lunasol21

I want my friends to notice and care. I'm afraid of what would happen if my parents knew. Sometimes I wonder if they do know, but wouldn't they say/do something?

needtorelax

Hi there,
I read your post and just felt I needed to respond. I am not a doctor, but I have had similar experiences in my life. I am now a 34 years old and just recently diagnosed with a mental illness bipolar. I also used to do the cutting and/or burning. Odd I know. I felt like I had really bad PMS or something but after lots of years of not knowing, I went to the psychiatrist who was able to diagnose me properly. Mood disorders are really only diagnosable by a psychiatrist, please don't leave it up to a family physician,or OBGYN. he did not help me after 5 years,of "anxiety" to diagnose me properly. BTW it is somewhat common for bipolar people to "cut". Please go get help it is nothing to be ashamed of, these problems are real physical illnesses.

needtorelax

I would be sure to mention the cutting and moodiness, it will make a difference.