How to go about getting someone help - need advice.

**sourpuss** · 05-05-2009, 11:55 AM

My brother and I are at the point where we feel we need to confront our father about getting help for his mental state. What's the best way to go about this?

He needs a psychiatrist and a therapist. He has loads of childhood issues, he's OCD, a control freak, never been wrong in his life, hasn't worked in 15 years, can't relate to anyone and doesn't really live in reality. He has a terrible temper and doesn't think that there is anything wrong with him.

So far we're thinking the best way to approach it is to come to him concerned about his depression and the fact that he's getting worse and worse every time we see him. We want to minimize his defensiveness which will be near impossible.

I was going to research doctors in his city and just schedule an appointment and let him know that he can show up to the appt if he agrees that he needs help. I don't even know how to go about finding the right doctor.

Has anyone else ever basically forced someone to seek help?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-05-2009, 06:10 PM

That's tough for you two.

I suspect that if they are childhood issues, and he's your father, he's lived with all of this for so long that even a recommendation of any change will be thrown in the bin.

What about a brother, sister? Someone he is close to that is of his generation, someone that he trusts, that can camly tell it how it is to him, how he has been?

Is he living on his own? And, has for quite some time? Has he always had OCD or only since not working etc, like a sense of work, keeping things perfect...

CW

**Joy** · 05-05-2009, 06:40 PM

Oh Sourpuss this is a tough one.... I didn't really force but i sought out help for a relative. They were grieving and knew they couldn't go thru the process alone.

It sounds like you are going to have a big battle on your hands. I think if you talk to your dad with concern and not his bad behavior he might seek help to get thru his depression.

**WildChild** · 05-05-2009, 07:04 PM

Had do it with a suicidal ex. Not easy. To this day more than 11 years later he denighs that he had a problem. Just be loving and firm. Good luck with this.

**ThexMrs** · 06-06-2009, 02:28 AM

Just keep in mind that you can't force anyone to do something that they don't want to do. Don't set yourself up for a let down. Sometimes you just have to love them through it.

05-05-2009, 11:55 AM	#1
sourpuss WH Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Montana Posts: 1,376	How to go about getting someone help - need advice. My brother and I are at the point where we feel we need to confront our father about getting help for his mental state. What's the best way to go about this? He needs a psychiatrist and a therapist. He has loads of childhood issues, he's OCD, a control freak, never been wrong in his life, hasn't worked in 15 years, can't relate to anyone and doesn't really live in reality. He has a terrible temper and doesn't think that there is anything wrong with him. So far we're thinking the best way to approach it is to come to him concerned about his depression and the fact that he's getting worse and worse every time we see him. We want to minimize his defensiveness which will be near impossible. I was going to research doctors in his city and just schedule an appointment and let him know that he can show up to the appt if he agrees that he needs help. I don't even know how to go about finding the right doctor. Has anyone else ever basically forced someone to seek help? __________________ Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

05-05-2009, 06:10 PM	#2
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,962 Blog Entries: 7	That's tough for you two. I suspect that if they are childhood issues, and he's your father, he's lived with all of this for so long that even a recommendation of any change will be thrown in the bin. What about a brother, sister? Someone he is close to that is of his generation, someone that he trusts, that can camly tell it how it is to him, how he has been? Is he living on his own? And, has for quite some time? Has he always had OCD or only since not working etc, like a sense of work, keeping things perfect... CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

06-06-2009, 02:28 AM	#5
ThexMrs Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Oregon. Posts: 2,732 Blog Entries: 13	Just keep in mind that you can't force anyone to do something that they don't want to do. Don't set yourself up for a let down. Sometimes you just have to love them through it. __________________ "I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart, I am never without it, anywhere I go, you go, my dear, And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling."

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05-05-2009, 06:40 PM	#3
Joy Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 625 Blog Entries: 5	Oh Sourpuss this is a tough one.... I didn't really force but i sought out help for a relative. They were grieving and knew they couldn't go thru the process alone. It sounds like you are going to have a big battle on your hands. I think if you talk to your dad with concern and not his bad behavior he might seek help to get thru his depression.

05-05-2009, 07:04 PM	#4
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,233 Blog Entries: 5	Had do it with a suicidal ex. Not easy. To this day more than 11 years later he denighs that he had a problem. Just be loving and firm. Good luck with this.