Thread: Bypolar or Alcoholism

if my opinion counts for anything can i just tell you how wonderful you are in your attitude towards your mother. she has caused you pain and real grief but instead of hating her and feeling resentment you still have a relationship with her and encourage your kids to also. you seem to be so well balanced, she is lucky to have you in her life.

happyending,

I want to say thank you. It is very nice to hear see those words. Its very difficult for anyone to understand my way in doing things. Our family members are enablers therefore do not understand where I am coming from.

I do no hate or resent, however there is a lot of anger there. But I am dealing with it in my own way. My way of controlling the issue and my way of being in control. Not her. That is why this is all working in my way and I am not the enabler of the family and a great way to teach my children they can still love their grandma but not allow her disease to take control of our Unity.

And yes your opinion counts. This is where I have learned on how to deal is listening to others. Especially the show "Intervention". It is an eye opener.

thanks again

i said before that my father was an alcholic as was my ex husband, but how much worse must it have been for you growing up with your main care-giver an alcoholic, did you feel like you are the parent and she is the child? you dont sound like an enabler, you sound very rational, i bet the rest of your family see you as mean and hard hearted! enablers always want to feel better about themselves!

Wow, having you understanding what kind of person I am through words is so refreshing.

It was hard for my care giver to be an alcoholic. Especially when I needed her in my teen years. Of course most of the time, I took advantage of the situation if my father was not around. But as i got into my 20's and had children then it really began to be a problem to me. I am still parenting her. And i don't think it is fair. And yes, my family feels that I am being too hard on her. That I should cut her a break. I keep telling the same family members, "who gave me a the break"? And they are not the one who sees her in that condition, or has to tell their children that grandma is not feeling well and can't have them over.

My grandmother pushes her on me. She wants me to give her a "chance". She wants me to give her responsibility to do things. But she fails to realize, I have given many and she doesn't take them. How many times does a person have to be hung up on, plans/parties cancelled? Not anymore for me at least. My family will not understand until they step back and realize enough is enough.

And I may take a year, or two or even more then that before I can let my mom back in. I have been hurt since 13 yrs old. And now my children being the same age have been hurt since they were born. I have to stand up for them. For myself... well that is long gone now. But she can regain the relationship with her grandkids if she gives it the chance. But there is NO effort there. I have no problem with having a relationship with her but she will have to make the effort not me. And that is where my family gets upset with me. OH WELL..

G

your grandma pushes her onto you because she knows someone "needs" to be responsible for her and plays down her condition because of her own feelings of guilt. it sounds like your mum is a master manipulator and why should she take responsibility for her own train wreck of a life if you and her mum are there. you dont know what your mum says to your grandma, about what a bad mean daughter you are. your mother is a master manipulator, she seems to lieand cheat without regret, i sort of feel sorry for your grandma. she remembers your mother has her baby and must wonder what she did to shape her as she is now.

Maybe she's become an alchoholic because she's bipolar.

It would not be unusual, because whether you are manic or depressive, if you are hooked on something like alchohol, it'll be along for the ride no matter how you're feeling.

I have bipolar disorder, and though I am not addicted to anything, I do understand how it feels to ride the Bipolar Express and be so focused on one thing that you go crazy overboard with it.

That is a very difficult situation though, seeing as she is your mother and you want her to be ok. I hope things turn out for the best.

My mom used to have fun with family/friends, having parties and drinking in front of others. Then at some point she started to hide her drinking.

Happy ending... thanks again. Your correct, I see right through both of them. That is why its easy for me to say NO now.

stay strong gemini05, the only person you can change is yourself. but maybe when your mum sees that you are no longer gonna put up with her carp, she will cut it back. i hope so. but in any abusive relationship it takes two to play.