I have been on numerous antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications for almost 20 years. It seems like after a while they stop working very well, so I'd try another, and another, and.... It is frusterating, but depression does run in families and it is a chemical imbalance, just like alot of other diseases.

I've tried numerous times to go off them, with no luck. So, I do what ever the doctor I'm seeing at the time tells me and try again. And, if they just don't have it right, what do you do. Like I said, I've been trying to find the 'right doctor or prescription' for years and at times I have found it, then it seems to just set back in. I have dealt with it for so long that I almost have just learned to realize that I will always have to conquer this monster. It really sucks not being able to control your own emotions and feelings!

And, alot of people don't understand it or know how to deal with it, so they back off or try to tell you it will be OK. And at the time, you are not OK. If you've been through it for so many years, "You Know It Will Be OK Again", but at the time, it's hard to think that.

I have my share of good days and bad days. Unfortunately, many people don't know how to deal with it, including me.

Usually I am the motivator and the person every relies on when they need help and inspiration. I just am not good at motivating and relying on myself, and always being the leaning post causes a lot of stress.

Life does not let you choose which lessons you learn. And life is full of lessons, which help you to grow and become stronger. I try to believe that life is an opportunity, not an obligation. Even though it seems the other way around.

I ran across this website while searching, and I have to say it is nice to be able to just write what I want and get it out. I just wish it was as easy to find a counselor that you have the right fit with.

Thanks for the time!

It's unfortunately true that many people will have to go through years of trial and error with anti-depressant meds. Everyone reacts differently and it's hard to know what will work well. There is hope that it will get better. They are always working to improve these types of meds so don't give up.

It's important that you don't solely rely on meds to help. I believe that many people suffering from depression need to improve and/or learn better ways to manage life and depression. A lot of people do not realize that some times they have subconsciously developed habitual reactions to life situations. Meaning, some people (not necessarilly you) automatically over react to situations or simply do not know how to appropriately deal with depression. I do not know your particular situation and you sound like you know to look at life in a positive manner, but maybe there are some areas you could still improve in? Most people can do a little better in at least an area or two. Taking newer and positive philosophies on life can help. Some times people need to change things in their life to see improvement.

I have had my share of depression which pulled me down so low I felt it was the end of the world, but I have learned (over time) that you have to just let things go. I know it's hard for people with depression. You just can't seem to shake that lowly feeling, but if you put your mind to it and work hard, I believe it can be overcome. I think it helps for people to realize that life is hard, times are tough, things will go wrong, but it's never the end of the world. Life will go on and times will be better. I know, the problem is dealing with the here and now. To deal with the hard times and get out of the downward spirals, you need to try real hard to redirect your attention from the negative to something positive. When you feel sad, allow yourself to feel bad about it momentarilly, tell yourself that's life, and then move on to something else. Try to find something new and exciting to keep your interest. Something you can turn to that will brighten your spirits when you are down. People who are depressed tend to sulk and avoid making an effort to go out and do things. If you find yourself doing that, make yourself go do something else. Even if you don't feel "up to it" or "in the mood", just do it. If you keep making yourself do things to take your mind off of being depressed, you may slowly recondition your mental responses into something more positive.

I hope this doesn't sound like a bunch of psycho babble, but I deal with pretty bad social anxiety and have been through tough times in my life, not to mention helping friends with their depression. It does help to talk and get everyone's opinions. By no means am I an expert, but am here to talk and listen.

I have had a problem like yours and now I take Neu-be-calm an amino acid supplement and am having great success. I will have my blood levels drawn on liver and kidney functions in about 6 months because I've heard mixed opinions on amino acids. I'm to the point that I'd rather live a short happy life than a long miserable one. I really don't think there will be any side effects from this supplement because I am an RN and I see a lot worse from the everyday meds that are prescribed. It's similair to Focus Factor and my sons pediatrition has recommended that for him.
Excercise really helps.On the days that I walk or ride my eliptical for even 15 minutes I feel happier and less angry than the days I don't. I treat my excersice like therapy that is prescribed. I still only do 3-4 times a week. Oh well. Can't be perfect, there wouldn't be any fun in that. I think 90% of people feel like we do, they were just born with better coping methods. Stay strong your not alone, but you can do it by yourself and the knowledge that you gain from websites like this, and throwing little hints out there to other women about anxiety or anger and you will be suprised what you hear and who you hear it from. Just one more note don't divulge too much about yourself, there is a part of you that is just for you. Some thoughts are not ment to leave your head, they're just between you and the Lord.
My husband is a big source of strength for me. He will notice when I am being irrational or mean and point it out to me. I usually takes me a few minutes or hours before I can see his point but I do. He was one of the ones that were born with good coping skills. My son is like me and it kills me to see him struggle so I'm trying to build his coping skills in while he is still a child by supplements and counseling with games that teach him coping skills and thinking things through before acting.
Be strong most of the time and a basket case when no one is looking.
Love Ya!

Hi everyone. I was going to reply, then read Aliamiz reply and agree with her wholeheartedly. I exercise not just for the benfits to my body, but definitely to my mind! I know i have some form of mild depression, so i run nearly every day. I am alot more productive on days i exercise and I feel so much better. Not that anything is ever really wrong, it's not something i can pinpoint, i just don't feel "right" when i take off too much time from exercising (if i'm injured). Good luck at the doctor. Please try other forms of "therapy" before you resort to drugs, if you can. Be well.

Your story is so like mine, very frustrating and something we're stuck with for life. Just know you're not alone I'm in the "good time" right now where I have a new one that is working well for now.

Julie