tommys_girl

Im 15 years old and I have some of the worst problems and I dont know how to deal with any of them! My life is constantly surrounded by stress, causing me to get paranoid over everything. I'm always depressed and sometimes I can get suicidal, I'm not planning on killing myself, but sometimes I just really want to slit my wrists. I'm also bipolar, I can't control my emotions at all. I'm extremely sensitive and overly emotional. I'm also a hypochondriac, even tho I'm recovering from that, but not very well. Alot of things set me off, and once I get going, it's hard for me to stop. I make accusations, and threats, and sometimes I just get so confused I just stop talking and can't think straight, and I try to find a way to fix things, but by then it's too late. I always feel like I can never do anything right, and that everything bad that happens is my fault. I'm generally a psychotic person, but I don't mean it, I just have so many problems that I can't handle, that it drives me insane. I talk to myself, and see and hear things that aren't there, and argue with myself, and sometimes I'll just sit in the middle of the floor and stare at nothing. So what do I do? Do I just ignore everyone and find my own way to get better since no one can stand me anymore? I can't get therapy, my family has no money, and I'm not gonna tell my mom I'm depressed, she'll just start telling me I have no faith in God. I want to try and do this on my own, but I don't know how or where to start. Please help me I'm sick of hurting everyone and myself I don't wanna commit suicide :'(

acerousme

Hey TG-

My name is Ace, and you've come to the right spot. For one thing-never think you are alone. I am %110 sure that people still care. Have you gone to the doctors to try and get help?

I can tell you now, I was like that. When I stumbled upon this site, I was a wreck...but now Im actually doing better...(also with the help of meds, and all of that fun stuff)

So, lets talk about your problems a little more in depth. What is stressing you out in your life??

xx
Ace

OG612

Deja vu... I could have swore I read something almost exactly like this a few weeks ago.

You're 15. I'd be willing to wager that you're blowing some of these things out of proportion.

Suicidal ideations are never a good thing. Even if you don't plan on doing it, thinking about it is enough to drive anybody crazy.

Are you sure you suffer from Bipolar Disorder and it's not that your hormones are out of whack because you're going through puberty? Bipolar is defined as swinging back and forth from severe depression to mania. Mania is this period of high energy where you're not thinking straight and you're unable to make the best decisions that you could. Just a couple examples would be using drugs, skipping school, and spending way more money than you have to spend.

You're right about being psychotic. Psychosis is a disturbance in you're thought process. Hallucinating fits right in to that.

Do these hallucinations scare you? Do the voices you hear tell you to hurt yourself or others? Do they try to get you to do things that you wouldn't normally do?

You need professional help. IMMEDIATELY. There are a myriad of programs out there that will pay for your treatment. I work in a mental health facility and know that there is help available to you. At 15 I don't know if you can claim Disability, but there are other means of coverage. You're not alone and you don't have to be. You CAN treat these symptoms! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER IN SILENCE.

Tell your mom. And when she tells you that you don't love God, tell her that you mean no disrespect, but God won't make the hallucinations and paranoia stop. God won't make the nihilistic thoughts stop. Nihilism means self-destructive thoughts (suicide as an example).

If your mom refuses to help you get better, then talk to other family members. Talk to your friends' parents if you have to!

You need to tell somebody that can help you get the treatment you seriously need. Help is available to you.

OG

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tommygirl...

I agree with OG... He's a male Nurse, so he has a few smarts in what may and may not be going on.

If you tell your Mum your depressed, sure, tough love, she is thinking you'll get out of it but without you knowing exactly what is wrong, she is wrong. Perhaps you haven't mentioned some things to her in the way that your feeling?

Your other threads say you have a boyfriend...That means that you communicate with a person, so no, not everyone hates you...

I thought everyone hated me when I was 15 and I remember feeling very down and out, no one listened, no one understood...

I go over that, within 2 years as I grew into a lady, from a little girl so to speak.....

I can not believe who I am and how I see life, and what I have achieved, if i was to look back at a confused childhood...

You do need to have some tests to establish what is wrong and get it into some form of balance for yourself.

It's this that is confusing you and your deciding that you have things wrong with you without knowledge, probably, only from googling how you feel.. That's not the solution, nor the answer.

Find someone who will listen and help you get to a Doctor to have a few tests...

You have to...

It's scary at 15.. If you feel you have no one to turn to but there is "always" someone, a Grandmother, an Aunt, your boyfriend's parents, there is always someone who will listen and help....

CW

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sophiewest

I am 15 years of age too, and like you I am a hypochondriac. I hope we could talk about it together sometime? Do you have msn? It will be good to have someone I can relate to and my age. Perhaps we could help eachother.

Miya

OG is correct dear. You really need to see someone who's experienced in this area (Psychologist/Dr./etc) instead of trying to deal with all of it on your own. Nothing is as bad as it seems when you're younger. The fact that you said is definitely a sign that there needs to be some kind of intervention.

Find a professional to talk to and know that there are many people in the world who either have had your experience and gotten through it or currently have these issues and WILL get through it.