Thread: Anxiety :(

I used to struggle with depression. I struggled with it from middle school (perhaps even before then) on through college. My mom said even as a kid, I would go from being happy and playing with friends to being sad.

But in 2005, I beat it. I don't know if you could say I still struggle with it...I mean, I get emotional...but now it's more healthy and "normal".

I still struggle with anxiety. I'm generally a person who worries a lot. And right now, pregnancy scares are almost sending me into a panic attack.

I go back and forth from being fine to nearly shaking because I'm so nervous. This month is the first time I've gotten THIS anxious about it. But it really sucks.

I'm home alone all day. I only work during the school year, but my husband works during the summer. So while he's gone all day, I'm at home freaking out. He's very supportive and is great when we talk about it. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm so nervous.

I feel like I have no one to really talk to because the people I do talk to aren't going through what I'm going through and they down-play a lot of what I'm feeling sometimes. Not intentionally or anything. I want someone to tell me "You absolutely are pregnant" or "You absolutely are not pregnant" and I know they can't do that. I have to wait a few more days until I can take a test and feel confident about the result...if I don't start my period before then.

If I am pregnant - I'll cry. I'll be terrified, but also completely elated. If I'm not pregnant I'll cry. I'll be devastated. And I'll feel so dumb for making such a big deal about it.

I know I need to chill and calm down. It's easier said than done.