What's your fear?
Every Millionairre has "failed" 3 times, in business first... before succeeding.
Sometimes we do things we don't like to get further in life.
You've given up before you've even started.
Doesn't matter what the job is, it's only soul destroying if you don't have goals and dreams. Whilst there, work out what you "think" you'd like to be and start studying, the ask for volunteer work in that field, non-paid part time, experience, work experience to gain a reference, the fact that you were willing to do that, had passed with your course, worked a job you disliked all to get where you want to go WILL impress an employer.. I am one.
Don't have a fear of failing. As, I said, many have but have realised it's not failure rather, a stepping stone to the next step to get where they want.
Sounds like you "were" ambitious, had dreams but NO GOALS.
Set them, write them on a poster sticker, put them on your mirror to see daily and don't stop until you reach it.
No, money, no work, no hobbies, non-affordability to do anything, will depress you more than a job you don't like.
Remember, it's those jobs that make us what we are and give us the strength to search for who we want to be.
CW



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