Body Dysmorphic Disorder

**ThexMrs** · 12-12-2009 06:14 PM

I'm not 100% sure that I am suffering from this disorder and I have yet to bring it up with my therapist. Perhaps in our next session I will. I have only discussed it with Marty and he says that I'm just too hard on myself and look nothing like what I think. That didn't really help the situation. I did mention it to my mom unbelievably and she says that I just need to give myself positive reinforcement and again, I look nothing like what I think but I don't think that's the answer either.

This is what I do... I look at myself in the mirror and I see a 500 lbs woman. When I'm out at the store I feel as if everyone is staring at me. I now hate going out. It gives me anxiety. I'm starting to feel very agoraphobic. Also, when I see a very large woman I think, I look just like that. Last night when I was watching the movie Precious, the main character is quite a heavy woman. Again, I think that is exactly what I look like.

In another situation with Marty, he told me that he watches The Biggest Loser because it's inspirational to him to see these people change their lives. When he says that, I feel very uncomfortable and think he's hinting that I should be on the show. At another time he was telling me about his friend Chris's girlfriend. He described her as 5 x 5. I feel like he's talking about me.

I'll post a photo to show you what I mean.

Me:

I'm not sure if I'm venting about how I feel or if I'm looking for an answer. I know that you're not Doctors and can't diagnose me but... I felt safe talking about it here.

Thanks.

**Texinator** · 12-12-2009 07:04 PM

Here is another good picture for comparison (if you don't mind me linking it)

And some thigh.

You commented on the bottom of the pcture I'm linking that you have chubby thighs, but that doesn't really look to be the case either.

I don't know what would constitute a formal diagnosis of body dysmorphic disorder, but it could certainly be a possibility if there is such a big difference between how you look and how you perceive yourself.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-12-2009 09:25 PM

People talk in "general" and I agree, it is great to see achievements in life.

I can't for the life of me see any comparisons to a person who joins the biggest loser and their weight, to any photos you have put up of yourself Linds.

CW

**Hopeless Dork** · 12-13-2009 01:16 AM

I hadn't really ever considered this disorder as something I may have... but I know I get symptoms that you mention. However... I use to be big... big... biggest loser qualifying big. I've lost quite a sum of weight through diet and exercise all by myself (no show!) most of the time I am real proud of my body and I feel very sexy but every now and then I'll experience the same thing you are talking about.

My boyfriend who has never seen me before I lost the weight... always scratches his head and is totally blown away when I am feeling down on my body/looks. He says often that sometimes he doesn't think I see what everyone else sees when they look at me.

Even as a teenager when I was slim, before I gained the weight, then lost it... I had a very very critical eye of myself. My friends would always credit me at being awesome at dressing myself because I always knew exactly what made me look good, I knew which areas to hide, which to flaunt etc... because I pick myself apart CONSTANTLY.

From the way my bangs fall in my face to the way I point the heels of my boots when I sit I pay close attention to , trying to make sure I am constantly looking what I consider to be the best I can look.

I got to the point with my boyfriend real early where I could be myself with him, but I am still real insecure from time to time... I find myself after sex worrying if he felt something jiggle or thought my rear was too soft or I don't know... anything. Sometimes my worries over how I look cripple me.

Like you, Linds... I take lots of pictures of myself. I don't know how you feel when you take them but for me I'll take about 25 pics for every 1 that I feel good about and even then I find flaw with something.

I don't know if its body dysmorphia, insecurity, neurotisism.. or what... but now matter how proud I am of what I was able to do with myself and how great I look now compared to how I use to look --- I still constantly beat myself up for every flaw.

**Futureboy** · 12-13-2009 01:49 AM

Hi X

To be perfectly honest you're hot, you just don't know it.

The most beautiful thing a about a women is their smile, their tenderness and the emotional generousity.

I is difficult to look in the mirror and say yes you're hot. Believe in yourself who you were who you are and where you're going

You are in therapy so you can work things out. Every day and and every way you are getting better and better. Try and enjoy the journey of life as best you can. Set yourself a few achaievable goals for next year and as you achieve them you will feel more fulfilled.

**Futureboy** · 12-13-2009 01:57 AM

While I think of it

Don't look at beauty magazines they won't help.

Apparently women look at over 3500 images a week of 'beautiful' people

Nuts Magazine (UK Lads mags) found that readership went up considerably when they printed pictures of regular looking girls over model type girls.

The most important thing is you love yourself

**Hopeless Dork** · 12-13-2009 10:28 AM

Women are bombarded with images of perfection at a level that men are only recently being subjected to. Even the women IN the images of perfection being portrayed can't live up to it -- their pictures are altered with airbrush, etc.

While I KNOW... I am being played by those images when I look at them, I know all the tactics of using sex to sell.. using perfect females in advertisements directed at females to make us feel like we need their product to look like THAT... etc, I can't say I am unnaffected by it.

Just now there was a commercial with a woman lying in bed with panties, the camer stays on her butt for , oh a good 30 seconds, the lights are dim, her skin is all oiled up, there isn't so much as a freckle on her perfect legs as they pan down for another 10 seconds til they get to the product they are selling -- the sneakers, of which they show for about 2 seconds. They are selling the hope that if you buy those sneakers you will have her legs and butt.

The commercial is probably exciting to guys, and for women sitting on the couch eating a poptart in their sweatpants ... less so. I know I am being played, I know buying those sneakers will not make me look like her. But I get a tinge in my gut... that I am just not good enough because I don't look like her. Sneakers or not.

Those incidents happen consciously and subconsiously hundreds of times of day because all they show on tv, movies and in magazines, in internet advertising and of course porn, etc... is perfection.

**WildChild** · 12-13-2009 10:31 AM

It's negative advertising, selling off insecurity which they helped create. The best way to give them the finger is not to fall for it. Be aware and work at not going there. Celebrate what you are, the real deal!

**Texinator** · 12-13-2009 08:32 PM

I guess men must have been clutching at their eyes and throwing up non stop back in the old days, back before those corporations saved the day with their fancy diet plans, exercise equipment, beauty products, and designer clothes.