One night stand - feeling so low now
Hi,
I had casual sex with somebody I met through a friend although we had never met before. We had been texting a bit of this and that and he asked me for sex several times. I refused, the idea of sex outside of a relationship doesn't really interest me. I love sex don't get me wring but the pure physical act without any attachment doesn't do a lot for me personally. Anyway to cut a long story short so much has been happening recently in my family and I have been up and down emotionally. Last night I did possibly the stupidest thing of my life thus far - I took the drug mephedrone. This is not something I agree with nor do I consider my difficult family issues an excuse for this sort of behaviour. I made a mistake and this led me to in a state of euphoria going and sleeping with this guy. I really cannot explain how mortified I feel about this, I had never actually met up with him in person before now and I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. I really want to work past this, but I'm literally sat here in tears and feel so awful about having done these stupid, stupid things. One of the worst parts was that I didn't use a condom, I took a morning after pill about 7 hours later though. I know I am probably feeling a massive increase in hormones and therefore my emotions are going to low for the next couple of days, but I just can't see past this. I really regret what I have done, as this is not my character at all and it is not the person I want to be.
Pleae your advice on overcoming awful mistakes you have made, and how can I stay positive. I don't won't to ever feel this low again.
Thanks
The MAP can mess you up for a while and that is probably contributing to how you feel. Aside from pregnancy, your concern should be the possiblity of an STI, you should get tested to be sure. Other than that, it's just sex. So it wasn't your ideal, it happens. It shouldn't be a big deal unless you make it one. Take it a little easier on yourself.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Thankyou wildchild, I know I am quite hard on myself often. I guess I'm just shocked at just how low I'm feeling at the moment. I'm talking severe - I didn't even feel this low when my father died.
Does anyone have any advice on anything I could do or take (vitamins etc) that might help me raise my spirits a little. I am seriously quite concerned at the moment as it seems to be getting worse as the day goes on.
Wildchild your comment has boosted me up though, I might have to reread it a few times
I'm glad you don't feel like taking mephedrone again, or any upper drugs, that's a definate plus.
It seems to me that you have high morals and again that's a plus, but we as women shouldn't feel "guilty" about wanting to do something out of the norm, out of our zone, personality or morals.
It is normal to have that inner child come out at some stage and want to do something that we would never ever do, and often feeling so down and out, will cause us to act in a different manner, just for that one time, just to feel something different, as to the reason I suspect also why you took that drug.
You don't owe any explainations to anyone, and this is a thing you can remember way down the track and laugh at and say oh dear, did I do that?
You also have to understand our sub-conscious mind is very, very active, when seeds are planted then they will be acted upon or left alone, but the seed is very much there in the corner of our minds.
He continually planted that seed.
You ended up acting on it, and probably needed an excuse to do so, in "your mind" and consequently due to your morals and outlook on sex, took the drug to do so...
I'd be suprised if you asked 100 older ladies, if they did anything "naughty" out of character in their youth that would turn around and say "no, never" and that be the truth
That particular drug is being fed through the chains in a way in which they are trying to ban, it can cause alot of problems if constantly taken, there are even blogs from people that started with (1) time, and can't stop...
Don't use that again as a reason to feel free of all the trauma or problems that occur in your life, have a glass of wine instead
But, don't feel bad for what happened, it's your body, your life, and if you chose to be free for one time, then that was your choice, don't judge yourself nor worry how other's judge you... Be confident in the fact that you are allowed to make choices...where sex is concerned.
All drugs take a while to get out of your system, you have two drugs in yours at present, the second being the morning after pill.
Drink lots of water, hug yourself and tell yourself your beautiful inside and out and let the drugs exit your body and you'll feel fine.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Im doing this to say thanks, I’m a 30 yr old male, who has been on a destructive streak since my wife had an affair and left our marriage 18 months ago. She was my college sweetheart and the second women I had ever been with. Long story short in the last 18 months I have probably been with 10-12 women but always started in friendship and became casually physical… I told them I had baggage and in most cases would refrain from having sex…
Last night was the first time I had a one night stand.. moreover, I didn’t use a condom.. it has made me feel rather disgusting... Self disappointment is an odd animal to deal with... especially if it morphs into self loathing…
Reading the responses is helping me quickly come to terms with my mistake put it in perspective and realize it is something that will not happen again.
I simply wanted to convey my thanks – great forum.
As this is an old thread, I just want to reply with thanks for joining the Forum anonymous...and posting on this thread..
I believe the answers we all gave, don't relate to gender at all, it relates to being human...
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
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