Thread: I am so scared....

Originally Posted by Scared437

I can't take this anymore, I hate being scared every time he drinks...He doesn't drink like that often just at parties and usually he is fine, but you never know when something will trigger him. We have a 2 1/2 year old baby girl, I am so scared, I know he needs help, he has anger and sadness in his heart, (he had an awful childhood) we cannot afford any help right now. Has anyone ever been through something like this? Is there something I can do? I just can't take this, I don't want to end my marriage either for many reasons, but I can't live like this anymore.

He might not remember everything but at least will piece-up some of the events - hopefully.

When he's sober go ahead and tell him exactly what you told us here in your post. Focus on your feelings and not sound like you're blaming him.

How is the relationship among yourselves with his parents and siblings? Do you have common family/close friends? With his approval, you can seek their support of ever.

AA (for him) and ALANON (for you) could be a places to go as well.

Well Im not sure where you are but in Australia you can go to your local doctor where he can refer you to someone. My husband grew up in a terrible situation too. He became dependant on booze an alcohol so he could forget his past. that with the combination of all the medication he was put on for depression and other things just sent him nuts he use to call me names tell me he was going to root other girls it was a horrible. It became physical in the end where I bore his anger. I was 19 at the time and I made a pact with myself to stay with him for as long as possible to help him but he had to help himself too. When I was 20 I fell pregnant we were fighting he was high and he pushed me backwards. thats when I changed my mind I loved him more than anything I was angry at his parents and sad at what he had gone through in his life he had deserved to grow up like any other child had, but I was now going to be caring for someone else...my baby. so I told him that if it continued I was going he had to get better help had to take his meds and ease up on the drugs and alcohol or I would walk. we moved away from his abusers stoped talking to the family and it helped our baby was born and he was in love we have now been together for 11yrs and have had 3 kids there hasn’t been any abuse and he has stayed of the drugs and alcohol for good. your partner sounds like he drinks to forget like mine did. He does need help, I know you said you can’t afford it but maybe he could talk to a councillor at a church or the salvos or something. Has he tried seeing his local doctor and talking to him? You said you have a child the thing is and I know it’s hard you have to put your child first! I know you love your partner but he has to not drink at all talk to someone even if it’s a forum like this or a friend get all the he has bottled up out. If he doesn’t and you guys continue it’s going to get worse like it did for me. I was lucky my husband did the right thing will yours??? Remember your child is all you need to worry about if you are not feeling safe or happy in your home then something’s got to change.
I hope I helped even if it was just to show you you’re not alone if you ever need to talk just pm me. Good luck I wish you all the best.