Thread: Advice for family of Borderline Personality

Hi,

I've known for about a year now that my older sister has BPD, which has explained a lot to me about her relationship with me, other members of our family, and her friends. I only found out because she cut her best friend out of her life, who told me what was going on because she felt that someone in the family should know.

I read a couple of books, the best being Rachel Reiland's which shows how someone can get through it and have the right mix of meds and therapy to live a "normal" life.

However, I'm still at a loss as to how to behave with my sister. I have no idea who I'm going to meet when we do see each other. Last Christmas she nearly strangled me, this Christmas we couldn't have been closer. We've realised that if she doesn't want to talk to us, she doesn't pick up the phone, and it can be extremely anxious not speaking to her for months because she's in a bad patch. I feel utterly helpless. At one point last year we got into a huge fight on the phone that after she told me to ...er...go away (polite words used for the sake of the forum obviously) and hung up on me, I rang and left a message on her answerphone along the lines of "it doesn't matter what you say to me, or how many times you hang up on me, I'm your sister, i still love you and will always be here for you". I got a response 24hrs later which was progress in itself, but still echoed the sentiments to which she'd ended the phone call.

Now, occasionally she'll start up a chat on facebook about something really random, yet I text her a week ago about something work-related (her work, not mine) and I've still not heard back.

Half the time I don't even know if she's still alive (although her ex-friend told me that whenever she cuts herself she does take herself to hospital if she goes too far, but its not much consolation).

Does anyone know of any support networks in the UK or Edinburgh that I could get in touch with? Also, any advice on how to cope with my sister's changing personalities would be gratefully recieved. I definatley feel its a case of "I hate you, don't leave me", the title of the other book I read, but its SO TRUE! But how do I know which one I'm going to get?

Thanks forum