aspergers/anxiety/psychosis/depression
so my boyfriend suffers with all of that
as well as a doctor sponsored addiction to lorezepam and zopiclone
benzo's and sleeping pills.
he's drinking a frightening amount on top of all this.
im not really sure what to do
or indeed why im posting
things have become increasingly difficult over the last few months
his autistic type behaviors are getting worse
he gets into complete hysteria over the smallest things
stuff like making a phone call to his doctor
seeing his key worker
tidying up his flat
he gets into fights because he just doesnt realise that people are getting angry with him.
he has these little obsessions with random numbers
so he'll collect eight of something
or read each paragraph of a book sixteen times
i dont understand the rules but they consume his life
and if his routine gets upset
the whole thing becomes a nightmare.
the other problem is
im bipolar and apart from the fiasco that happened over the summer
im more or less stable
i feel like im being forced into almost a carers role
and i dont want that.
im twenty four
i want fun and excitement
admittedly i want the rollercoaster of mania
but i realise that is not a sensible course of action
so i take my meds and go to therapy
and im trying so so hard to get off disability and get a job again
and it just seems like
he's not trying
which is ridiculous
because i know that he is
he's just not capable of it
but i want a normal life
i want to get married at some point
maybe have some kids
have a house
that kind of thing
what am i supposed to do?
sorry this turned into a bit of a ramble
if you read it
thankyoux
You are unhappy. You have a ton of problems relating to him to deal with. He doesn't try enough or his condition is too serious to improve quickly. This is not the life you want and you cannot change who he is.
Reconsider your options, ask yourself if he is what you really want, if you want to spend years of your life supporting him without expecting anything in return, hoping one day he will improve. You are young and can make a new start again. Don't waste your life over somebody else.
Hello! I saw your post about Aspergers and depression, etc. I want to say that I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. Having a type of disorder is miserable enough, without dealing in a relationship with somone who has a disorder as well. "Stressed" is right in her post. Obviously he is not dealing with his problems and I think the drinking is a big red flag you MUST pay attention to. I have dated someone with Asperger's and (although I loved him) I had to leave, because nothing made sense. I have researched it now for years. I am a psychology major and want badly to help people. Anything I can do, if it is just an ear to listen, I am there.
Yeah, my brother has Asperger's. I cannot get up and walk out, cause I'm family.
But you're not his mother or carer.
Besides you can only make a difference around you for the better if you're happy and well yourself.
But with your condition, you have to look after yourself first.
You don't have to cut him off completely. Just do whatever you can to make yourself well and support him so that it doesn't get you down. I'm sure he's not alone in this world, he has family and friends to take care of him aswell.
thankyou all so much
im sorry i havent been back here for a while
a lot of drama *sigh*
we've been together nearly eight years now
i know it sounds stupid and teenage but he's my soulmate.
thankfully we've got him involved with a charity who help mentally ill people
and they've been more than incredible
it means now that they take care of all the practical things
so we can just have a vaguely normal relationship
and i can concentrate on getting myself better without having to care for him too.
we were thinking about moving in together properly
but now i realise that is not a sensible plan as things stand
so we're taking it slowly
very slowly.
thankyou all so much for your replies
i was just at the end of my tether
but now things have improved no end.
x
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