feels like im loosing control

**crazykkcatkate** · 04-20-2010 03:58 AM

my head is spinning and im turning to alcohol because i feel my life is out of my control.

i work spilt shifts in a hotel, get up at 6am go to bed at 1am. Work is always on my back im late, i dont put enough effort in but i cant im just soo tired.

my bf and i are going through a rough time, we have a long distance relationship and i cant see us making it work in the future but hes thinks it will all be fine. we have seen each other twice in 6 months.we can see each other now and were in the same country whats going to happen in September whn i move to a differnt one!

one of my best friends is constantly sick and in hospital and im the only one here to look after him and im constantly worried about him. another friend i drunkly admitted i had feelings for him and he has gone mad and doesnt want to speak to me anymore.

i am up to my eyes in reports, assignments, presentations for university aswell and trying to work and at the rate im going im going to miss my deadlines.

at home my parents and grandmother are ill and being as though i am an only child i feel like i should be there doing something to help them all but they keep telling me to live my life, i cant because im worried so much about them.

i joined a gym to keep my weight under control im a serious emotional eater and constantly live on coffee and chocolate. i have no been anywhere near the gym and the weight is starting to pile on.

on my days off from work i spend most of them in bed crying wising there was some way to escape my life or in the pub drowning my sorrows, then i get up getting very drunk and taking guys home!!

my life is out of control and i just dont know what to do anymore!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-20-2010 04:09 AM

Hey sweet, your so out of being happy, insinc...

i work spilt shifts in a hotel, get up at 6am go to bed at 1am.

we have a long distance relationship

one of my best friends is constantly sick and in hospital and im the only one here to look after him

i am up to my eyes in reports, assignments, presentations for university aswell and trying to work

at home my parents and grandmother are ill and being as though i am an only child i feel like i should be there doing something to help

i joined a gym

then i get up getting very drunk and taking guys home!!

my days off from work i spend most of them in bed crying

Are you trying to DO all that you do to cope with the long distance relationship? I think so.

You get drunk and end up at some guys home because you need, so desperately to feel.

You're overloaded.. You're giving up all the love you possibly have, yet you aren't getting any.

You doing it all, work, gym, university, work and no wonder you can't sleep or believe in love, your living day by day, just trying to cope.

How the heck can you do this? Seriously? Work/study/support? 6am - 1am, don't do this.

What can you change? What can you do that brings you into harmony, this is too much and you mention, long distance, then alcohol and being with a different man, so is that relationship truly what you want?

CW

**eleni** · 05-06-2010 01:24 PM

that sounds so unbelievably stressful im suprised that you're still standing.

first of all you need to cut down on something
be it your hours at work, your studies, your family, your friends or your boyfriend.

turning to alcohol causes more problems than it solves.

okay first of all - are you happy with your boyfriend? do you love him or is it that you're just comfortable with the relationship? does he know how you're feeling? he should be helping you even if its just through the phone or e-mail.
long distance relationships are difficult anyway but if he's worth it then you can work it out.

secondly - why are you the only one looking after your friend? surely there are other people? what is he ill with if you dont mind me asking?

thirdly - i completely understand drunkenly telling one of your friends that you have feelings for them, you're pretty much trying to keep a hundred plates in the air all at once and it doesnt seem like anyone is supporting you at all and i can see why you'd reach out for love.
why doesnt he want to talk to you? do you actually need him as a friend? sorry, that sounded harsh, but if you do need him then you need to try and sort it out - explain that you're overwraught and if necessary then pass it off as a drunken mistake. its a lie but kind of a white one.

fourthly - why do you need to work so much? and which is more important to you - work or uni? if its work then maybe you should see about doing university part time. if its uni then you need to start looking at getting student finance. because as it stands i dont see how you can be doing either of them well.
you need to make a choice.

fifth - your parents and grandmother are right. you do need to live your life. i know that its hard, i feel guilty when im not there to help my family and im one of four. but there is a difference between being there for them and helping and completely subjugating your own life to try and help them. you feel guilty, they feel guilty everybody loses.
they're your family - they want you to do well.

sixth - how were you anticipating finding the time to go to the gym? with the amount of things you do i dont understand where you'd fit in the time.
that said; doing some excersise sounds like it would be amazing for you. something mindless to focus on and give you some energy.
can you set aside even an hour a week where you turn your phone off and go to the gym? taking care of yourself will always always help.

it sounds like you're heading for a major stress related breakdown.
get to a doctor and ask for some councelling or antidepressants or something like that.
if you cant cut down on any of the things that you do then you need to at least be supported professionally while you're doing it all.

it sounds to me like you're the kind of person who will willingly run themselves into the ground before asking for help from anybody.
you cannot continue to do this
it will affect your health.

im sending you some love x

**mrs_black** · 05-18-2010 03:18 PM

Hi...Life is not easy...The stress of learning and living is something new to all of us...Sometimes I think I am foolish answering some of these threads, but it is a part of my life and seeing it was a part of me it could very easily be a part of many people in the world of cyberspace...When it happens try to figure out why it is happening...Try to relax...Don't let it go farther than it is....Slow it down...Bring on a thought of joy from your past...I wish you well....