:( Am I going insane?

**Little.Chuck** · 06-05-2010 05:30 PM

Im really starting to wonder if im going crazy. My moods are all over the place. One moment im very happy, very excited (over nothing

), feeling really down, and the next i feel really angry. I get hot and i can feel myself 'bubbling' inside and feel unbelievably angry. It hasnt caused me to be violent or mean, it just makes me want to be left alone and not touched, spoken to or even looked at?!
Its starting to affect my relationship because im getting snappy, or being very quiet because im upset or angry. The problem is Im starting to think my partner doesnt love me anymore?! He seems to be acting differently sometimes, not coming near me, not holding me or giving me kisses on the cheek or forehead but just staying well away

. This isnt all the time, other times hes his usual self - chirpy and loving. Twice in the last two days he has been moody with me and not told me why - I hadnt snapped at him either. I have asked him and he has promised numorous times that he loves me more now than ever. Im just not feeling it?
Its not just him, im getting the feeling that other people are acting differently too. This is really getting me down and I hate the feeling that im on my own, I dont feel like anyone understands what im going through and how im feeling

. Im not the sort of person who finds it easy to show that im hurting in front of people and often just go and sit in the toilet or hide under the covers and pretend to be asleep if im feeling upset, so I cant just come out with it and tell people how im feeling. Does this make me look moody or ignorant?
The days are going past so quickly and I dont like it, I want to live my life and have fun, ive always been bubbly and energetic, but thats completely changed now. I feel so stuck in the same situation all the time, Im in a job I REALLY hate and I just cant see a way out.

I have an anxiety disorder and im on Propranolol. Are my hormones just messed up and everything im thinking and feeling is in my head, or is it real? I really just dont know. Sorry for the long rant, just needed to get it all off my chest.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-05-2010 05:44 PM

I would definately speak to your Doctor about Propranolol, the dosage, if it is correct for your body, firstly. Medication is meant to help but sometimes, the wrong dosages can put your whole body out of wack, or the ingredients of this particular product.

Just like people who quit smoking, attempt to take a drug for it, but they get all gittery and angry and in which case, their body won't accept it, the Doctors generally take them off of that medication and try something else.

But, I also think that if you bottle things up inside too much you want to scream but you hide instead and it manifests.

Maybe go for a walk when you really feel that "hot", "angry" feeling and find a place to scream at the top of your lungs to let it all out.

It's possible it's the medication which is bringing you down, you don't like your job so combine this and everything seems down when maybe, your boyfriend is right, everything is okay, he is just not liking the mood swings, preferring the bubbly girl you were.

Go back and talk about the medication to your Doctor. You were bubbly and energetic so to me that says there is something wrong with the dosage, or that type of medication for you.

CW

**Sweetest Love** · 06-05-2010 05:44 PM

I just looked up propranolol and one of the side effects is depression... it may be affecting your hormones, thus, affecting your moods. Did the mood swings start after you started taking the medicine? Have you spoken to your doctor? I would definitely suggest that you talk with your doctor, let him/her know about how you are feeling. Have you started taking any other medications, or a different birth control???

**Little.Chuck** · 06-05-2010 06:04 PM

Im only taking my Propranalol twice a day. I havent had these effects since i started taking it. I have noticed it the last 2 weeks and im just beggining my fourth box so have been taking it for 6 weeks now. Only thing i can think of is its a different make to my first two boxes.
I am not using any birth control right now at all I have just had my implant out yesterday. I have been a little bit moody the last few hours as my cat was on the roof and wouldnt come down I ended up having to hang half my self out the window and grab her - im VERY scared of heights and we live in a third floor flat. But then my OH got in the shower and I went and joined him. I even gave him a cuddle. But now he has gone to bed and hasnt even said goodnight to me?

**ItsASecret** · 06-05-2010 06:18 PM

Propanolol is not usually used for anxiety unless you have performance anxiety-like public speaking but even then it is not typically prescribed in a chronic fashion. Unless you are on propanolol for hypertension (or other heart conditions) or in a diuretic combination for the kidneys maybe you should talk with your doctor to see if it could be the cause for your overall increase in mood swings. Maybe the doc can put you on a new medication just in case.

**Little.Chuck** · 06-05-2010 06:25 PM

My doctor said she was putting me on propranolol as my heart rate was too fast and also to aid with the anxiety - which she believes is generalized

**ItsASecret** · 06-05-2010 06:48 PM

Simply due to the heart rate you are certainly on the right med for that so I doubt she will change it. See if there is anything else you can do, without anymore prescriptions, like yoga or some sort of other calming activity to help with the random anger and mood swings.

**Sweetest Love** · 06-05-2010 08:22 PM

I think the ideas that ItsASecret gave are good ones. You should try those out. Also the advice from CW about not bottling things in, or finding some type of release sounds good. Has anything in your life changed in the last few weeks (since your mood swings started)? When I am stressed out and feeling moody, I like to write in my journal, maybe you should try that. It would be a way to get your feelings out and to really think about what is making you feel the way you do.

**Little.Chuck** · 06-06-2010 03:59 AM

nothing that i can think of - apart from hating my job now more than ever. But if it was that then surely i would be moody at work all day? but im not? Also, its hard to find a private release as me and my partner are together 24/7, and he would very likely read a journal if he found one.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-06-2010 04:09 AM

Also, its hard to find a private release as me and my partner are together 24/7, and he would very likely read a journal if he found one.

Then, that's the problem, you have no me time, no time to un-wind, reflect, chill, get over your job, nothing, if you are together 24/7.....

And, in addition, trust.. He should never read your journey, that's yours and yours alone, like here, to talk..

So maybe make one at work? During lunch hour and time to take "time out" for YOU..

CW