I`m stressed out, and need some serious advice about a hard situation.

**CosRicaa** · 06-09-2010 10:16 PM

Ive been going through some unbelievable situations lately, but overall i`m okay as of right now. First of all, my boyfriend went to jail for something minor about a month ago and i havent seen him since for a number of reasons. If all goes well, he will be out by this weekend.

I had suspected I was pregnant before he went, but never went to confirm it as Ive been waiting for my next period.

Well, last weekend i was the victim of a brutal assault by an unknown male. It was a freak attack and I spent some time in the hospital. Upon waking up in the hospital, the nurse informed me I had in fact been pregnant, but the trauma caused me to lose the baby.

Let me just tell you that my boyfriend is unbelievably protective of me, and tells me constantly to be careful & not put myself in situations where something like that could happen. He also has a huge problem with men hitting women, and would never expect or let anything like this happen to me. I was nervous to tell him that I was in the hospital because I knew he'd be upset and his stress level would go through the roof.... but I told him anyways. I was right, he cried and ever since has called me as much as possible just to talk to me. Hes probably more stressed than i am, because on top of knowing im hurt, he's doesnt know when he`ll be out to take care of me.

Well, I had absolutely no intention of telling about the baby because its something i wanted to forget, like the entire situation, but also I dont want to make him more sad... Or it might push us apart that i didnt tell him right away. I feel very very sick to my stomach at the thought of telling him because it will crush him & make him even more angry at this person... But today, he made a point of telling me how he loves that I never hide anything from him.

.....I know that everyone will automatically think he deserves to know, but please consider how many bad things we're already going through, and how sad he is already without even knowing...Do I tell him? How?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-09-2010 10:29 PM

Hi CosRicaa,

I deleted your other thread because it was the same context as this one and you can only post your question once.

Firstly, I am sorry for your loss and secondly sorry for what you have gone through and thirdly sorry that in addition your dealing with your boyfriend being in jaol. That's a lot for one person to bare.

I believe that you may hide things sometimes anyway. As, he has stated " never hide anything from him" but also you suspected you may have been pregnant when he went to jaol.

I don't know if he has a short fuse, will try to locate this guy, and get himself into trouble again, so on that note, I would be advising you to try to protect him if the police every establish who it is and keep him away from getting revenge.

Sweetheart, he is your boyfriend, it was his baby as well and it WAS NOT YOUR FAULT... You can tell him that you were moarning, in shock, couldn't take it in, and it's now hit you what the Nurse said. But, yes, I would tell him.. To have any good relationship, you can't have lies in it... you have to be honest.

But, if you want to wait to see if he gets out in a few days and tell him face to face, so that he can cope better himself, that's not a bad thing.. You can add in, "in addition, you were in jaol and what I told you was enough to cope with on your own and I also wanted to tell you that in person, as that was "our" child, so "we" needed to be together and hold each other, that's why I have waited...

Along those lines.

That would be what I would do.

CW

**jns** · 06-09-2010 10:53 PM

You have to tell him about the baby, but try to get him to promise to stay out of jail so he can be there to protect you. If he promises, remind him when he is getting out of control, so he can learn to control his emotions.

**eleni** · 06-10-2010 07:09 AM

i dont automatically think that he has a right to know.
what i do think is that you need to ask yourself whether or not this is something you will be able to deal with by yourself if you dont tell him.
you lost a baby in the most traumatic way possible and it scares me that you might not realise how badly you are affected now and make decisions without dealing with whats happening.

since you weren't sure whether or not you were pregnant and were in the very early stages and waiting for your period to come i dont think its unreasonable that you didnt tell him straight away.
after all, you didnt know yourself until the nurse told you for sure.

i like chandlers wish's idea of how to tell him, i think if you're going to tell him then you need to do it face to face.

im sorry things have been so bad for you recently, i really hope things get better x

**sourpuss** · 06-10-2010 08:31 AM

I agree with eleni, only tell him if you feel you can't deal on your own. I'm sorry about your situation, just awful.
I do have to ask though, you seem scared of your boyfriend? Are you sure this relationship is all roses?

Thread: I`m stressed out, and need some serious advice about a hard situation.

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

I`m stressed out, and need some serious advice about a hard situation.

Similar Threads

Really hard situation, how do I ask this girl out.

I need some hard core advice !!!

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions