Cry for hours

**pocari** · 08-28-2010 04:23 PM

I'm currently feeling very bad about myself, I know I just did a mistake.. I really regret it. But besides of that.. it makes me more into thinking I'm becoming more useless, idk whats happenin in me.. I mean it's been weeks since I feel so idk.. useless.. lame.. myb I'm losing my self concious, self pride, self esteem, etc lately.. I have pending problems to be taken care of, marriage in september and still doing those things.. it is really mind stressing.. and more of it... I have no job... it makes me feel more useless... well I quit cuz I need to do things to visit him in his country, but my visa was rejected, disappointing.... then we chose second option to get married in my country. To get married in my country we need to do many paperworks n requires a lot of patience, many disappointment from the embassy also..but we're doing it, n we have to do it til it's done.

It's not that I'm not happy I'm getting my legal wedding soon.. I'm so happy and I really love him so much.. so much even small fights makes me crazy n sad for a long time cuz I keep worrrying unwanted things are about to happen, always, but will never happen, I hope. And mostly cuz of the little fights we have, it makes me so depressed, and cry for hours...4 hours of non stop crying is the max myb, I cant imagine how I look tomorrow... z... this is the thing I can't control since I am with him, I love him so much. He is really kind n sweet in fact, and it's only me who cries like a baby everytime we fight, maybe I feel sad too when he is sad, and mostly if he is upset or sad cuz of me. idk what this syndrom is called.

Anyway, me n him are totally fine. I'm fine too. I'm just venting out on why I am such a crybaby and I feel so down about myself lately. Only a bit of weird thinking in my brain can make me cry. it sucks...

Hmm, okay thats all maybe, thanks for reading.

**kristalyn_04** · 08-28-2010 10:38 PM

sounds like depression, you should get yourself evaluated. I've had it for a long time, it's managed by medication but sometimes extenuating circumstances cause me to relapse, meds or not. I've been feeling really down lately because a lot of things have happened over the last several months that was building up on me, and I'm doing my best to manage it. My advise to you would be to seek help, because it's almost impossible to overcome on your own. Even if you don't have depression, you're obviously going through some sort of emotional stress... it happens to everyone from time to time. Hopefully you can get some help and get through it. Good luck.

**jns** · 08-29-2010 01:16 AM

pocari, I don't know what country you are in or what country your husband-to-be is from but my experience from 20 years ago caused a great deal of anxiety for my wife and myself. After getting married in Thailand to my wife, it took 7 months of separation and a few trips back to Thailand to get her visa and bring her to the USA. I could not stay as I had to work to generate the money to be able to do the whole thing and if I took off for very long I would have lost my job, which was hard to get in the first place. I understand perfectly why you cry, it is due to visa delay blues. The people who grant the visas seem to take sadistic pleasure in watching people squirm. It will get better. Take care of yourself and let it all come out.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-29-2010 01:35 AM

I understand perfectly why you cry, it is due to visa delay blues. The people who grant the visas seem to take sadistic pleasure in watching people squirm. It will get better. Take care of yourself and let it all come out.

I know of another also, in addition that went through this and it must be one, if not, the hardest thing to have to endure in life...

We all have sad things happen, or loss of work, but to not be able to be with the person you love due to Government rules, regulations, that pain is extremely different to cope with, extremely difficult to cope with, it's in your heart, not just your mind...

Know that sweet. and keep strong, it will happen because you both will make it happen as jns made it happen..

CW

**pocari** · 08-29-2010 07:54 AM

Originally Posted by kristalyn04

sounds like depression, you should get yourself evaluated. I've had it for a long time, it's managed by medication but sometimes extenuating circumstances cause me to relapse, meds or not. I've been feeling really down lately because a lot of things have happened over the last several months that was building up on me, and I'm doing my best to manage it. My advise to you would be to seek help, because it's almost impossible to overcome on your own. Even if you don't have depression, you're obviously going through some sort of emotional stress... it happens to everyone from time to time. Hopefully you can get some help and get through it. Good luck.

Kristalyn, yes thank you for the advice, I am seem fine but it's just something makes me become so emotional sometimes. I hope you will get through what you're having now and I hope we can help each other out on here on this forum. Good luck too

**pocari** · 08-29-2010 08:08 AM

Dear jns and CW,
I live in Indonesia and my fiance is in France. yes I agree all the paperworks and visa things seem to make me n him amazingly depressed. Yes my visa was rejected while I put a lot of expectation in it because we were planning to get married in France as it is easier there. But, gaining the visa was so hard for Asians. more of it cuz maybe because the place where I live in. And I was so upset regarding my visa rejection, and it was not only me, many women also got rejected on their visa applicatioin so I shouldve known and prepared about it.. I did prepare but still it caused me n my fiance to lose hope and disappointed.

The visa people were so crazy.. they wrote on the rejection paper that I was rejected after 1 week application. But the fact was: even after two weeks' application, I asked the embassy, I still had no news and they say to wait more more and I had to wait 1 month til I knew that I was rejected, such a lie. And I got the news on the day before I supposed to take my flight. then I cancelled all of them.

But it has passed, and I'm almost done with doing paperworks for my marriage, eventho we had some disappointments too, but it's all ok.. I hope things can go smooth and we can be together soon. I'm lucky I have a very supportive fiance and always be there for me whenever I need, eventho we're far. Things are just messing up my mind for now. I hope not for a long time.

Thank you for all your supports, I really appreciate it.

I hope all is well for you there.

**jns** · 08-29-2010 09:44 AM

The last thing the embassy asked my wife for was a copy of the original application for her visa. Communications then weren't what they are now and that caused a big delay. Mailing something was uncertain as to it actually getting there. I got seriously angry and wrote both of my state senators and my US Representative, all federal officials for my district, to ask about the reason for such a request. My thinking: the Embassy wouldn't be processing the application if they didn't have the original. All three made inquiries and the visa was approved in several weeks. I have a friend that was going through this hassle and I advised him to do the same, but rather by phone. He did and the approval was given to his wife the next day. This was within the last month. I don't believe in coincidence in this case. I have given this advice several other times and it has always worked.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-01-2010 02:32 AM

I hope jns's advice helps...

When was the last time you saw your fiancee?

**pocari** · 09-01-2010 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by jns

The last thing the embassy asked my wife for was a copy of the original application for her visa................... I have a friend that was going through this hassle and I advised him to do the same, but rather by phone. He did and the approval was given to his wife the next day. This was within the last month. I don't believe in coincidence in this case. I have given this advice several other times and it has always worked.

Jns, I am sorry I didnt really get the meaning, what was your wife applying that time? and what did your friend do by phoning the embassy?

CW, last time I saw my fiance was in early April. so it's been around 5-6 months now. I miss him so bad

but we're getting married in late September, I hope everything works, now I'm still waiting for his single status letter from embassy. I just hope when he's here, the letter is here too.

**jns** · 09-01-2010 07:03 PM

The embassy asked for a copy of the original application when my wife went there to check on the progress of the visa application. This meant she had to contact me for it. At that time I didn't have a phone and couldn't speak Thai very well. Therefore, I could spend $20 in a pay phone for about 3 minutes and not understand my wife or have her understand me. So I didn't call often. Instead , she sent me a letter, which took more than a week to get to me. Then I sent her a copy of the original application back. Even today, sending ordinary express mail to Thailand is a hit or miss proposition as two small boxes sent by priority mail several months ago didn't make it to their destination. At that time it was worse. The express mail was slow and sometimes simply didn't get there. Today, a solution is to pay $100 and send things by Federal Express. At that time I don't think it existed to there. If it didn't get there, there could be another month or two wasted. It upset me greatly to have to deal with people of such primitive understanding at the embassy who could ask any stupid thing and then something else the next time.

My friend phoned the case worker section of the staff of the US senator from my state. He told of his situation and sent them documentation, I believe by FAX. Since he is a US citizen as of last fall and presumably a voter, the staff is attentive to trying to get such things resolved is a timely manner, if possible. Future votes are likely to go for the politician that helps.

I would suppose France has somewhat the same situation.

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