I can't stop thinking terrible things

**Nicholee** · 09-12-2010 11:15 PM

Lately I've noticed that sometimes I'll get these thoughts in my head of people around me that I'm not hearing from or seeing being hurt or dead.

When I noticed it:

My long-distance boyfriend said he had to go for a little bit one night via text, I was at work so I didn't get the text until later that night. So I went home texted him and was just asking if he was was okay and fell asleep. When I woke in the morning I noticed that he still hadn't responded. The day kept progressing and I kept texting and calling but no one was answering.. I started getting worried, it was about 6 in the evening when I just hit a wall and.. All I could think about was he was somewhere hurt or dead and no one was around to help him because he lives on his own. I wanted to think he was okay but the thought of him being hurt or dead over-rode everything I wanted to think. Like, I felt as if I had no control over those terrible thoughts.

So, someone, anyone, what could this possibly be? /: It's like constant now, and it's causing me to lose sleep, and my appetite.

**stressed** · 09-14-2010 04:34 PM

Well, I think it depends on the case. When your boyfriend suddenly texts and says he has to be away "for a little bit" but hasn't returned by the next day... I think it's natural to worry. I would. Most of the people I know would.
But if he says "I'm going to buy milk" and he's late by 10 minutes, that's overreacting.

Do you feel like this about everyone or do you feel this most regarding certain people? Are you equally worried of getting hurt yourself?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-14-2010 07:03 PM

When I woke in the morning I noticed that he still hadn't responded. The day kept progressing and I kept texting and calling but no one was answering.. I started getting worried, it was about 6 in the evening when I just hit a wall and.. All I could think about was he was somewhere hurt or dead and no one was around to help him because he lives on his own

We were born with instinct as well as intuition... I believe mainly because we bare the children and so we need to know when something is wrong, as babies, they can't talk.

It's also normal to receive a text back from someone that is close to you.

It's natural to therefore climb the walls in worry.

What you don't say is if he has actually gotten back to you since and why delayed?

Our sub-conscious will once worry sets in, think of others we haven't seen .

Just yesterday for some reason I rang my boyfriend's father who lives with me for the time being, in worry as if something was wrong, I visualised coming home and having to ring my boyfriend to tell him the bad news, even saw in that, my dog dead.

Point being, my worry was because he had hit his head on the fridge, a little blood only, but I worried because he could have had concusion yet, I was visualising someone breaking in?

See how our minds go into worse mode?

**Beautiful Disaster** · 09-21-2010 01:56 PM

I do this. I can relate to this very much. I lost my father at a young age so I'd like to think that's what causes it, but when I think back to my childhood long before he died, I was like that even then. If someone I loved didn't show up where they were supposed to when they were supposed to, I'd start out with a little worry, that would quickly develop into intense worry, then sheer irrational panic. My mind would go to the absolute worst.

I still do it, but I've learned to control myself a little better. The last time it happened really bad was a few years ago when I couldn't reach my mom by phone for several hours at the time I talked to her EVERY day. Turns out she had gone to brunch with some friends, swears she told me about it, (though I knew she didn't.

) I pictured her dead on the side of the road, I pictured her dead in her bed at home where no one would find her, I pictured her beaten and suffering because someone broke into her house, etc etc etc. This was just one of many occurances of this in my lifetime.

You have a deep seeded fear of losing someone you love. maybe you've lost someone before. Maybe you experienced some sort of loss (maybe not even death) as a child. Maybe you have some control issues (like me!) where you don't trust things you can't control and you feel vulnerable and weak when you're not in control. You need to KNOW where people are, so you know whether or not to worry. I'm one of those people that doesn't deal well with feeling "helpless", and in this situations, I feel helpless. I struggle with this every day, but I'm learning, and I'm working on this. And you can too.

Don't think you're crazy. Just try to get in touch with your fears and learn ways to control it. If you are waiting to hear from someone that they made it home, etc.......find something to do like talking on the phone with someone else, reading, exercising. Something that will help to pass the time.

**WildChild** · 09-21-2010 03:39 PM

Get Shad Helmstetter's book, What To Say When You Talk To Yourself. He addresses this. Just aknowledge it and say."thank you for sharing" and let it go.