why? why? why? i dont understand

**you.make.me.smile** · 09-18-2010 09:45 PM

I don't understand why people are taken away too soon, so young
a mother should never ever have to bury her child it is the most heart breaking thing in the world.
I have just lost a friend he was only 27 I dont understand why these things happen he was a great guy so kind and caring he was my brothers best friends and he is completely broken i have never seen him in so much pain i dont know what to say to comfort him, i end up crying myself.

His mother was basically laying in the coffin with him screaming my baby and holding him then she was laying on it closed they had to pull her off she had to bury her only baby. my brother keeps crying and asking wheres Baker? Wheres baker? they were like brothers, he was family
and this all could have been avoided were not sure how he died the family didn't want to know until after the funeral but it was most likely drugs he was found late like 2pm and they think people known earlier he was dead and didn't do anything about it. he could have been saved ...

and i know they say everything happens for a reason and i believe that for the most part, like just last month we all went on a canoe trip like every year me and my brothers and friends, and my partner bailed last min and i almost didn't go but ended up going and baker was my partner and i am so thankful and grateful for that time but why does he have to be taken so sooon? so young? so many broken heart...

RIP friend

**WildChild** · 09-18-2010 11:07 PM

This is always painful but it really is true that in time the pain will lessen. Hold the good memories. Perhaps you and your brother and some other friends could do something to help prevent others from drug abuse? As a memorial?

Do stay in touch with his mother. She will need loving support for a long time.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-19-2010 03:59 AM

We can't change fate, how beautiful that your brother was like a brother, that's something to treasure...

If it was drugs, it's sad, .. but I agree with WC, make something of it, in his honor so others do not repeat, so he can be proud ..

We live in a world where alot of disappointments arise, and we can't always stay strong....

I hope your ok ..

We're here if you need to continue to write.... on this....

CW

**you.make.me.smile** · 09-19-2010 09:20 PM

I know that the pain of losing someone is less in time, its so hard to see someone so young go, that is something that i have never seen, it is so heart breaking and i dont know how to comfort my brother he is just hurting so bad.

**Mes T** · 09-19-2010 09:28 PM

I think time's the only medicine.

You don't have to say anything to him, just "be" there, a shoulder to cry on, a buddy to sit home and watch a movie with... It helps.

**Texinator** · 09-19-2010 09:36 PM

Having lots of people be there for him and let him know that he doesn't have to go through this all alone can also help.

**you.make.me.smile** · 09-19-2010 10:08 PM

He wrote on the back of a picture that he put in the coffin that it should have been him...for no reason my brother doesn't do drugs. does he really believe it should have been him? i don't know if he thinks he could have saved him or what. is it normal to say that in this kinda of situation

**Texinator** · 09-19-2010 10:11 PM

It could be a form of survivor guilt. It usually affects people who survived a traumatic incident that others did not. In this case, if your brother doesn't use drugs, it wasn't exactly a shared experience, but he might still be blaming himself for not having done more to save his friend. That's not all too uncommon. If someone close to you dies then, depending on the circumstances, you tend to wonder if you could've prevented it somehow and if you are guilty of not doing enough.