Bad thoughts

**Neemo** · 10-01-2010 04:24 PM

Nearly every day now, I wonder to myself what is the easiest way to commit suicide, I have no friends anymore and have nothing worth living for.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-01-2010 04:47 PM

Hi Neemo, welcome to the Forum...

Take yourself back, when you did have friends, remember? Take yourself back when you smiled at something, remember?

Perhaps it's a new journey in life that is now awaiting you, a happier one, a transition...

If you had a dream what would it be?

People come and go in our lives and stress and things that make us un-happy can bring us down, but remember, there is always something to live for, would you tell us more about yourself...

CW

**Neemo** · 10-01-2010 04:57 PM

I'm 22 tomarrow, I suffer from depression since I was 14-15, my teenage years, I can't really remember them because I was drinking alot and went through some tough times.
Over the past 2 years I drifted away from my friends and stopped wanting to go out and I don't really leave my house, unless I need to.
I have no interest in anything anymore, I always feel down and sad and then that will turn to anger. I hate my life and I hate feeling this way.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-01-2010 05:14 PM

Birthdays will bring out depression even more...

It sounds to me like you've stopped drinking?

You know once you get yourself into a rut it's hard to get out off, but you CAN get out of it...

Was there one friend that you were close to, could confide with, that you could try to get back in touch with and ask them to help you get motivated, out of the house, and start living again?

**Neemo** · 10-01-2010 05:31 PM

I still drink the odd time now, but only when I'm feeling really bad, but I know myself it never helps. All my friends have moved on and we've all split and they are in college the other side of the country. They all seem busy with their lives and doing so well, sometimes I ask myself, where did I go wrong? When did I loose my grip on things, but I can't ever really remember things being "good". I'm living lifeless days everyday, and I'm getting tired of it. I tell myself some days, I'l give it a go for another day, but nothing ever changes or how I fell never changes.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-01-2010 05:37 PM

Do you think that may be because, that next day, is the same as yesterday?

Why not start with getting out the house, going for a walk, getting back in touch with what's out there.

Do you have brothers and sisters? What do your family do to help you ? Have you ever had counselling?

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-01-2010 07:18 PM

Welcome!!! For starters, I have a challenge for you. You came here for a reason, so take this seriously, take it to heart, and please give me your best effort. Here is your challenge:

List 5 GOOD things about YOU.

Ready, set, go.

**oneyearsolid** · 10-01-2010 07:22 PM

I am so sorry you feel this way. mental health is a hard one I am 25 and for 3 years let myself stay in a rut not leaving the house or even getting out of bed. I would say the same things to my self "how can i do this any more?" but i started by reading some self help books i know it might sound silly but it helped me see how i can have the power to help my situation no matter how bad it got! This was at a time when i was put on zoloft and i made sure i needed to find myself. Your twenties are the time when we try to find and define our selves and that alone is a very hard thing todo. Then i started to see a therapist phd md. It gave me more hope hope that even though my body was fighting me i could do what i could to think more possative!!!!

**Neemo** · 10-02-2010 08:29 AM

I do have brothers but they all live their own lives, we see eachother a few days per week but we don't really speak or make conversation. My dad is always away with his friends and doing his own thing and my mum spends most of her time with her sisters. Every one has their own life and does their own thing, we aren't close as a family.
I find it easier to name 5 bad things about me rather than 5 good things.
I hate feeling this way, yet I fell I'd be happier just staying at home and not associating with anyone. I've convinced myself that I'm just a lost soul, I have no friends, no hobbies, no interests, I think to myself that id I don't give up on life, it will be like this for the next 50 years.
I have went to councillors when I was younger. I had a miscarraige when I was 16, and I blocked it out and got on with my life. Thought to myself that there is no point crying over spilt milk. I thought it happened for the right reasons and that helped me forget about it.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-02-2010 08:36 AM

I find it easier to name 5 bad things about me rather than 5 good things.

I didn't say it would be easy. But if what you truly want is to feel better....you have to be willing. So get at it........5 good things about yourself.