feeling down and sad most of the time

**sianie87** · 11-03-2010 02:42 PM

hi all and sorry this is sooo long! i have been told i have depression and anxiety by my doctor and all this started last year and i am unable to work at the moment plus i am a full time carer to my mother but i feel so down some days and i just keep think about things and wish my life would change for the better as everything seems to go wrong all the time.

i was getting some money from the state to help me but i went to my medical this year to see if i still met the rules and according to the doctor who did my medical she did not get the facts right and i didnt meet the rules and lost my money which has made my depression/anxiety much worse.

i only go out about three times per week because i get so anxious and i have to have someone with me but my mum is with me nearly all the time as she uses a wheelchair which i have to push.

i hate having to go anywhere as i do like to stay home because of the anxiousness and i get panicky very easy and anything can make me jump.

i dont sleep at night stay up till all hours thinking about what will happen and what am i going to do as i just have about enough to help pay the bills as as i get an allowence for looking after my mum but this nothing compared to out going bills and when i had the other bit of money(and that was reduced because of the allowence i get for my mum)

i was a little better and started to make head way in getting better but now i have gone back to square one and feel so much worse plus i have to now face the bundle papers and hearings to try and get my money back and i do not want to go to any hearings because last time it was horrible for me as it was like being "grilled" by them.

my doctor is not happy that they have done this again and she has no idea why.

i just dont know how to cope with all this anymore. i just feel like i want to give up and cry. i do put on a brave face for my mum but dont know how long i can keep going as this has started to cause arguments between us as i dont want to go out and i have no friends as they have all left me and dont want to know (and the person i was friends with lives over the back to my house and visits another friend who lives over the rood so feel like my face is being rubbed in it)

she is depressed like me but she is not bothered and we were good friends. i am depressed all the time. thanks for reading x

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-05-2010 03:50 PM

sianie,

How old are you?

It sounds to me that there is alot going on, alot on your plate..

Are you the only sibling?

Off course, your going to be depressed, with little income, bills to pay, stress... And, you have no life, your stuck and so, your friends all depart and your own your own, which creates anxiety...

You need help, assistance with your Mother, so you can get to spend some time, outside of that house.

You need to get full support from your Doctor, family, to help fight to get the finances fair so you can survive..

Your Mother, she is not receiving any money at all, she can not help at all, are you doing this all alone...?

Please let us know a bit more.

CW

**sianie87** · 11-05-2010 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

sianie,

How old are you?

It sounds to me that there is alot going on, alot on your plate..

Are you the only sibling?

Off course, your going to be depressed, with little income, bills to pay, stress... And, you have no life, your stuck and so, your friends all depart and your own your own, which creates anxiety...

You need help, assistance with your Mother, so you can get to spend some time, outside of that house.

You need to get full support from your Doctor, family, to help fight to get the finances fair so you can survive..

Your Mother, she is not receiving any money at all, she can not help at all, are you doing this all alone...?

Please let us know a bit more.

CW

hi im 23 years old and i am the only child. my mum does help with bills but i like to help to as she cant do it all as she has mobility problems(compression of the spine to be exact) my doctor does her best but as i said she is not happy about my loosing my money and cant do much. she has signed me off as not fit to work with all that is going on and i/we are a risk of loosing what money we do get because of goverment changes. i just living of my care allowance which is much less then the minim wage because i look after my mum. we do not get much help because "I" look after my mum and the goverment thinks we can cope and dont need support. i cant get out of the house on my own as i have to have someone with me because i am soooo anxious but as i say all my friends have gone and dont want to know.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-06-2010 01:12 AM

You know, I remember not too long ago we suggested to someone else, to touch base with an old friend, see if it can be revived and, that's exactly what happened.

True friends are there when you need them, they often shy away as they don't know what else to do.. Maybe you can reach out to one of them?

I imagine because you care for your Mum and she has a disability pension? That, they give you just the smaller amount for being a carer.

If your Doctor has signed you off not fit to work, is there Workcover or a simular scheme over there, maybe you can't be the carer maybe someone else has to assist her, the government to be precise.

Have you looked into that, it doesn't mean you can't be there for your Mum but it seems to me your taking on a very big responsibility.

Maybe we have some people here, from the UK that know a little more regarding this, so I'll keep bumping it up..

I think you stated you had a boyfriend in another thread and the surgery you've had.. Is he there for you emotionally?

CW

**sianie87** · 11-06-2010 07:06 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

You know, I remember not too long ago we suggested to someone else, to touch base with an old friend, see if it can be revived and, that's exactly what happened.

True friends are there when you need them, they often shy away as they don't know what else to do.. Maybe you can reach out to one of them?

I imagine because you care for your Mum and she has a disability pension? That, they give you just the smaller amount for being a carer.

If your Doctor has signed you off not fit to work, is there Workcover or a simular scheme over there, maybe you can't be the carer maybe someone else has to assist her, the government to be precise.

Have you looked into that, it doesn't mean you can't be there for your Mum but it seems to me your taking on a very big responsibility.

Maybe we have some people here, from the UK that know a little more regarding this, so I'll keep bumping it up..

I think you stated you had a boyfriend in another thread and the surgery you've had.. Is he there for you emotionally?

CW

he tries to be but he lives away at the moment so we talk on the phone alot. his dad has not long died so he is helping his mum. he tries his best but i have said i need him here when i had the surgery but he couldnt make it. i get the results next week from the surgery so this is a scary time too. my mum gets an allowance because she is disabled but they are going to do another medical on my mum soon and the way things are going over here at the moment i dont know if they will renew her to get it again. i dont think this friend will want to know as i have not heard from here for weeks and when i do text her its the same thing "we all have to manage and get on with life" and i do make the effort but she doenst. plus one of here children has caused trouble between us and the other friend she has across the road from us so its quite hard.

**tesoro** · 11-06-2010 07:25 AM

Depression and anxiety are tough foes to fight because often you feel like you are battling within yourself. While you are going through this difficult time, I would suggest that you take 20 to 30 minutes each day to do something for you...something you enjoy. Since you don't feel comfortable going out on your own, you could find something to do for yourself at home. Perhaps taking a warm bath while listening to music you enjoy and some candlelight. You could close your eyes and breath deeply while visualizing you are in a special place that you like. You could also try meditating and/or skipping rope each day...building up to 15 or 20 minutes a day. Small changes like this can help to boost your frame of mind and help you cope while these issues are resolved. Maybe you could ask a friend if they would like to go out once a week with you to walk around the shopping mall and get a coffee. The key is you need to remind yourself that during this time, you will only think positive and stay in positive conversation with your friend. Sometimes our burdens can bring others down as well if we are constantly talking about them. Get things off your chest but limit your "gripe" time to a few minutes then look for fun and enjoyable topics of conversation. I hope you can find ways to feel better during this difficult time you are going through.

**sianie87** · 11-06-2010 07:28 AM

thanks i will try. i could do with some new friends! but i have found some on here

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-06-2010 02:29 PM

Take each day at a time, it seems that those friends were acquaintances and things have changed so it's time that they exit your life, you must not think that everything that happens is your fault, or a problem, or that the current problem is going to get worse, somehow you have to see things as they are, a hickup, a hurdle for sure but nothing you can't beat and may I suggest you write that on a post it sticker on you mirror and read it daily.

Tesoro gave some excellent advise, however about turning that negative of " I will try" to "okay, I'll start tomorrow with the bath and music".

Our minds are powerful tools, very powerful... for each negative though there is a positive, remember that

And we're glad you've made some friends here, you can class me as another

CW

**sianie87** · 11-06-2010 02:38 PM

thanks so much for all the support it is helping me and i think i will have that nice relaxing bath tomorrow with candles and just lie back and close my eyes and forget everything and go to a place where is care free