PMDD is ruining my life
I have suffered from PMDD for over 20 years and this is the very first time I am talking about it. All of my adult life I have known that something was seriously wrong with me emotionally. I have single handedly destroyed every relationship I have ever had and my current relationship is teetering on the edge. Most of the month I am "normal". Then for 3 days I loose my mind. Let me begin by listing my symptoms:
1. Hysteria - crying for hours
2. Hallucinations
3. Inability to rationalize
4. Violent/Angry Outbursts
5. Suicidal thoughts
6. Debilitating migranes (I feel like my head is being crushed)
7. Heart palpitations
8. Dizzy/blurred vision/disrupted speech
Just writing these things is making me want to vomit because I feel so ashamed. I can't live like this anymore. I've tried taking antidepressants (Lexapro and Celexa but of course, not being honest as to why I needed them) and it didn't help - my PMDD broke through every time. I can't take birth control pills because I have issues with blood clots.
I had an ablation in December 07 and my PMDD seemed get better for several months following but then it returned with a vengence.
I've had my hormones and thyroid checked. There is a history of thyroid disease in my family but I always check out ok.
I read on this board that having a hysterectomy might work for PMDD sufferers. Is there anyone out there who has been cured of PMDD? I'm so tired of living like this.
Has your doctor brought up benzodiazepines (anti-anxiety meds)? Things like Xanax, Ativan, Valium. Or lithium treatment for that matter. PMDD is a very common thing in many women so you don't need to worry about not being honest about why you may take them, the doctors have heard it all before.
The other thing you could do is see a psychologist, to try out cognitive methods of therapy to control the violence and crying as well as recognize when and how to control the emotions.
There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.
See a psychologist? I need to live in a mental institution 3 days of the month! lol If I could control these things on my own, I would. It's destroying my life and I have a pretty fantastic life! But those 3 days per month I have no ability to rationalize - my mind is completely shot. This last episode I couldn't sleep because I was literally hallucinating thinking something or someone was hoovering over me in bed and that people were talking right outside my window. When I do manage to sleep I have horrible VIVID nightmares - stuff that is so scary it changes me, it disturbs me as if it were real like people being butchered in front of me and me knowing that I'm next. One time I had a nightmare that my son was being killed showly in front of me. I'm telling you, for 3 days per month my mind breaks, I break. I hate myself and everyone around me. And then for a week afterwards I feel so incredibly shamefull for hurting those I love.
And I make a joke about living in a mental institution 3 days per month but I seriously think I need to.
lol PMDD is not mental institution material. The psychologists do the "talk therapy" at small owned businesses and in hospitals and basically just charge you per hour to discuss how you feel and how you can manage your way around those 3 days of the month. There is likely a component of you already conditioned yourself to end up in that state for the 3 days a month (and hence as soon as its close you just say oh nope I'm not going to be normal now so here we go again!). So that could be addressed in sessions as well as drugs if need be. Psychologists are also not allowed to prescribed medication, only refer you to a doctor or psychiatrist who can, so it would be purely talking and seeing if there are methods you can add to your day to minimize the effects....or find out if it is not actually PMDD and some other underlying condition instead.See a psychologist? I need to live in a mental institution 3 days of the month!
Also, hallucinations and delusions are different things. Seeing an image lets say of a man outside your room is a hallucination, thinking someone is after you or watching you (without actually seeing anything) is a delusion. Both of which can be addressed by a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist.
There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.
I would make an appointment with you gyn stat. Tell them honestly how server it is for you they may start you on some meds to ease the symptoms. Try going online to find a therapist that specializes in women's issues. Maybe also go to your library take out books on the subject they may have some good suggestions on coping. I seriously wish you a lot of luck.
Dead animals don't equal fashion it equals cruelty
3 days? Honey I spend 2 weeks with this mess every month! I'm certainly not CURED of PMDD but acupuncture helped me for the anxeity dreams that kept me from sleeping (mine are as awful and vivid as yours) and mellowed out the hate-thoughts, rage, paranoia and extreme sadness. It was almost like having my sleep back gave me better control over the other symptoms. They are still there but are much more manageable - think bad PMS levels.
I spent 10 minutes in my Dr's office one visit crying, asking her to take it all - full hysterectomy tomorrow, please. When she said "That might not be the best idea..." I dissolved into hysterical laughter. Gee, she's never questioned that PMDD diagnosis after that.
Good luck & keep trying - something will help without the "deadness" feeling that antidepressants give. It takes a while to figure out what works best. Oh, and don't be afraid of your Dr- they ARE there to help. And if s/he isn't willing to work with you thru the process - find another one that will!!! They are there to HELP you not hinder you and if they hinder, toss them to the side like a bad boyfriend.
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