I hate my body. No matter what I weigh I always look fat, how can I fix this?

**kurayami** · 12-31-2010 08:41 PM

I have bulimia and significant body image issues. I have a routine each morning, where I get up, pee and weigh myself naked. In my own house my scale is not near a mirror. But I have been staying at a friend's house. Her scale is right next to a mirror and I noticed this as I stepped on the scale. It horrified me. Everything I saw looked freaking huge.

I am 5' 1' (156cms) and weigh 142 lbs (64.5kg). My BMI is 26.1. In terms of getting back to a healthy weight, I only need to lose between 7 to 10 lbs (3 to 4kg). But to look in the mirror, I look at myself and think that I'm extremely fat. My dietitian seems to think that my weight will normalise and by eating normally and exercising moderately that I should go back to a weight closer to 132 lbs (60kg).

However, even when I was that weight that I still looked horrendously overweight and disgusting. A nutritionist told me that I should ideally weigh around 115lbs (52kg), but even before my eating disorder started. my slimmest weight was 127lbs (58kg). And it doesn't matter how much I tell myself that I like myself; I don't believe it for a second, it feels intrinsically wrong, so I can't see how I'm just going to change how I feel about my body either.

Can I fix this or do I just need to accept that I'm always going to hate my body?

**asiangrace** · 01-02-2011 10:21 PM

You can fix this!! I struggled with anorexia for years. I looked in the mirror and saw a fat girl, too. So I understand your pain! However, you can conquer this. First off, I would take the bathroom scale and put it in another room where you can't see yourself in the mirror. It seems like the mirror is just a negativity right now in your life. Do you have a good support group? Good friends who will encourage you?? how about a work-out buddy?? I found that my good support group helped me through my eating disorder and to embrace the beauty of my body.

This is not something that has to be forever. It can change. It will take determination and dedication on your part, though. Has your dietitian set up a specific "diet" and exercise plan for you?

Have you set goals? Sometimes setting realistic goals help. Then you are able to see progress.

Keep your chin, up beautiful!!!!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-05-2011 01:40 AM

A nutritionist told me that I should ideally weigh around 115lbs (52kg),

And, as a result of this, you are aiming at that, but because you can't get there, only 58 your depressed and see yourself fat....

Seek another persons advice on weight..firstly..it is a weight "range" ie) 51 = 57...

Secondly, a few kilo's over can be very sexy, even the Stars hate trying to look too thin and end up putting weight on, feeling healthier and stating stuff the stupidity of starving myself and most find men immediately, men don't like skin and bones

CW

**augurey** · 01-21-2011 09:42 PM

Originally Posted by kurayami

My dietitian seems to think that my weight will normalise and by eating normally and exercising moderately that I should go back to a weight closer to 132 lbs (60kg).

I think your dietitian is correct by saying this however you have an eating disorder. If this were so simple, you wouldn't have an eating disorder.

Have you considered support groups and/or therapy? It seems that in order to achieve what your dietitian is trying to get you to aim for, you need to address whatever is fueling your disorder. Though it's not to say that support groups and/or therapy is the only way for you to recover.

I struggle with bulimia myself, so I can completely understand where you are coming from. I can't answer for anyone but myself, but I feel that regardless of where I'm at in my eating disorder or recovery (or recovered), I'm sure I'm always going to hate my body, though hopefully with increasing acceptance as time goes on. I can't answer for you if you're always going to hate your body, but only you can find out by taking the steps to try and find acceptance in your body.

But do keep a positive outlook, you can get through this

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