Catching everyone up on Gigi

**Goodgirl93** · 01-05-2011 06:36 PM

I haven't necessarily returned,Though I did promise i'd post a thread about everything,Maybe it will help me? Not too sure but it's worth a try.

I guess i haven't been on in a while now.My WH visits starting coming to a close a bit before summer and I do regret it because I haven't even bothered to log on and I do feel bad for that.I've logged on a couple times,But haven't stayed long.I came back for a few days though after my bf broke up with me over the facebook dilemma,ect.Not even a week after I posted that thread,He got a new gf and tried to continue to use me.Within a month,They were engaged,And now,they are trying for a baby.He knows I may not be able to have babies someday,So he would purposely rub it into my face about them trying for a baby,and how happy they were.I did alot of crying over the breakup,and losing him,and all the verbal abuse i took from him.We stopped talking for a while and recently got back in touch after he texted me with an apology.Since then,We have gotten along great and he even mentioned yesterday he wants me back.But i'm not about to go through all that again,so of course i said no.

To be honest,During that time,When he was always making me cry,and saying how happy he was,I was so hurt and upset,I did consider cutting.I wanted the pain to go away and I hear people say how cutting makes the emotional pain subside.So I was willing to do it if it helped keep me from going to bed crying and walking around with my head down all day.Luckily,I remembered the threads that were posted here,and I even read my own responses about the matter,And especially with some help from an AMAZING WH friend,I realized cutting is not something Sammy does.I am above hurting myself,And im glad i realized it.Within time,Things got better and I met a new guy.He was younger than me,and if you know me,you probably know i have always dated older guys.He was sweet and we were friends for a very long time actually,But i had no idea he had liked me.We dated for a month,and he cheated.I mean I was sad,But I didnt really mope too much about it,Cause I know guys of his age,Dont even want to be held down,they want to play around for a while til they actually mature.So it wasnt very surprising to me.

The next day after we broke up,I lost my job.Since June of last year I had been babysitting a 1yr old.Me and the mom had some complications about me being payed,and she was not as good of a mom as she shud of been.I was watching the baby 10-13 hours a day.He was so used to me,he was starting to call me mommy towards the end of it all. I was SOOOOO attached to him.If i could adopt him and keep him forever I would in a heart beat.But she decided she didnt want to pay for daycare anymore,Since the babys father was deported back to mexico and she cudnt afford 100.00 a week. Sadly,I havent seen the baby in a while,and im afriad i wont be seeing him anymore

Since I lost my job I have been trying so hard to find a new one,Although at my age,I dont have many choices and not having any professional experience,because the only job ive ever had was daycare work.Ive applied to MANY places,because i will work anywhere at this point.I feel bad that my parents have to pay my way,Im 17,I shud be able to buy things myself and not have to ask for money.I am also trying to take my SAT's and ACT tests so i can start applying for college.I finished home schooling early,But I need those tests completed.

My parents have actually been treating me different lately.I'm always being yelled at,My brother always gets the benefit of fights,and hes just getting so much older,and acting like he is 18 when hes really 13.Mom rarely yells at him cause she says i should be the one to walk away,and i know that,But he is just getting too mean.I could be watching tv or on the computer,and he will come in and start in on me.Big sissy can only take so much. lol.Parents are making me go to bed early again,I have a bedtime now,and I know its because I dont have a job.I am trying though.There is only so much i can do.I apply,but like i said,Just about no one is hiring,and the jobs that are,Requires 18+ years of age.They treat me like im younger than my brother.I get no privacy,and it takes but a couple sentences out of my mouth for mom to take it out of context and take my phone or my computer rights away.

If that wasnt enough to hold me back,Not too long ago I got very sick.I have a bleeding disorder,wich hasnt really held me back in life and has never been something that has been a problem.Til about a month ago when I missed two birth control pills,and I started a period that lasted three weeks.I lost so much blood i was nearly anemic.I was weak,VERY pale,and I slept 12-14 hours a day.Mom delt with the same problem with my sister when she was my age,beings how she has the same disorder.

I guess I haven't been on much because I am just aside myself right now.I'm trying to put my life back together.Finding a new job,Starting college,and maybe a bf in the future(no rush on that).I am still the giggly Sammy everyone knows,But She is just trying to fix her life right now.I am not sure how much longer it will take,But im trying

**WildChild** · 01-05-2011 06:55 PM

Gigi we are happy to see you back and you know we will always be supportive of you. There is a lot of tourist business in your area, any chance of a job with that? Are you driving yet?

Do get your SAT and ACTs taken as soon as you can. My son took the PLAN before the holidays and we are geing flooded with university stuff! Its fun to look at your options, if you do well you will have plenty.

Good for you not falling for the ex's fickle games. He's very obviously not ready for a child or even a really serious relationship. Keep it as light and fun as you can with the boys right now.

Are you enjoying the snow?

**Goodgirl93** · 01-05-2011 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by WildChild

Gigi we are happy to see you back and you know we will always be supportive of you. There is a lot of tourist business in your area, any chance of a job with that? Are you driving yet?

Do get your SAT and ACTs taken as soon as you can. My son took the PLAN before the holidays and we are geing flooded with university stuff! Its fun to look at your options, if you do well you will have plenty.

Good for you not falling for the ex's fickle games. He's very obviously not ready for a child or even a really serious relationship. Keep it as light and fun as you can with the boys right now.

Are you enjoying the snow?

I havent looked into that actually. I didnt think there was much of that going on. I'll look into it though,thank you

And yes I am driving.I just don't have my own car yet.

I'm studying atleast 3 hours a day for those tests. I wanna get high scores.

Ehh I've never been the snow loving type. I've hated it to be honest. lol I miss summer already.How are you sweetie? I've missed you

**WildChild** · 01-05-2011 08:16 PM

I'm doing pretty well. Starting a new business and learning about building a web site so I can get it going. My son just turned 17 and both my kids are doing great.

**Goodgirl93** · 01-05-2011 09:03 PM

I didnt know u had a son my age

Thats awesome sweetie. Glad to know you are doing well. <3

**x.st.angel.x** · 01-05-2011 09:28 PM

Hey gigi
thought i might just say hi, sorry to hear you are going through a rough time, you said that you have a bleeding disorder, i have something similar, if you feel like chatting, just pm me! **hugs**

**Texinator** · 01-05-2011 10:42 PM

Thank you for starting this thread, Gigi. I'm proud of you.

I've already talked your ear off about all this, but let me reiterate some things...

First of all, that "boyfriend" was a lowlife piece of rat excrement that enjoyed making you suffer. That's not the way to treat someone you claim to love. But he did not act this way toward you because you are worthless and not deserving of better; he did it because he is worthless and does not deserve you. I know you have a lot of love to offer and wish you had someone with whom to share that love, and so it's especially frustrating for you that you've had some bad experiences with men, and even the one that seemed to have the most promise ended. On the bright side, at least you're learning something new from each experience, and you need to remember that you are still young and have many more experiences ahead of you. Trust me, you're going to find the right one for you eventually.

It's difficult to find a job in this economy, and you feel bad for not being able to contribute more financially... but you still have a reason to be happy. There is no shortage of people even in college who are more than happy to live off mommy and daddy's money and would rather spend their free time getting hammered rather than to look for you, and I reckon that you feeling guilty like this and being on a job hunt says a great deal about your maturity.

As for your brother, remember that you are no longer little Gigi, you are a young woman now. It sounds like your parents therefore demand model behavior, while your little brother has more freedom because he is a crazy little teenage boy. I'm not saying that they're right to constantly yell at you because of this, I'm just trying to offer one possible explanation. I'm also sure that it doesn't help that your mother has had some ongoing health issues for a while now, which likely adds to the tension in the household, because everyone is worried about her.

Just some thoughts... looking forward to reading what everyone else has to say.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-05-2011 10:44 PM

Yay she's back

IDK, 12-14hrs sleep due to a disorder your sister had, maybe, your Mum is a worry wart like most mums and is ensuring whilst you young and you recently went through this, get enough sleep...

Also parents are funny aren't they? Like your older so don't answer him...And boys always get away with everything, my brother did as well

It sure sucks.

What's positive about this is that you understand how boys think to a good degree, you chose a looser, who used, then a lad who wasn't old enough for someone like you but you understand how it all works, so many 17 year olds have absolutely no idea and keep going through the same pattern....Your not....and won't....

And another positive is you've looked after a baby so your already trained for the future

And Gigi, Sammy still has the same heart she had 6 months ago, another bonus...

See, everything negative can be turned into a positive for the "future" it's all occured in your present and past....

Keep shining sunshine, watch as each step takes you to a new one...

CW

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-06-2011 09:52 AM

Honey you should breathe a sigh of relief that you are no longer with your ex... when you see how he is behaving now, you can see he is immature, selfish, and cruel. His actions now show you how he trully is... and instead of letting him get to you and feel hurt, you should walk around feeling like you dodged a bullet because now that you've seen how insensitive he can really be, you'd have to know he wasn't the one for you.

He is nowhere near as happy as he is pretending to be. People that are trully happy don't need to make other people feel bad... at the rate he is trying to push your buttons I'd wager to guess he's miserable inside.

You have a big heart and a kind soul, and if it were you that broke up with him... if it were you that moved on to someone new... you'd never rub someones nose in it... or try to make them hurt any more than they already did. Thats what seperates the good natured people from the not so good natured people.

It seems like you are a tech savvy girl, I'm guessing you type, know your abc's and work your way around a computer... you should apply to a temp agency. They could place you in a job doing some filing or data entry with little or no job experience/education, while you work on your other goals. Look into that! Also waitressing at a nice restaurant, they tip well, some steak house or something like that. You can use your bubbly personality and turn that into great customer service.

Put the buzz on your block that your babysitting schedule is free... daycare is SO expensive, couples want a night on the town now and then... network around and let trusted friends and neighbors know you are open for babysitting ... maybe make a little flier and pass it around to the people you know that have kids...I'm sure there are many people that need some help watching their kids now and then, even if not full time... you can get a little apointment book and work for a couple of different families when they have plans they can't take their kids too etc.

In life we hit bottoms, we hit highs, thats the rollercoaster of it all... I think sometimes if we didn't experience hurt, could we truly experience happeiness? Or would we always be in the middle? Just zoned out zombies. When you are feeling down on your luck... raise your arms up in the air and let go, that roller coaster is on its way up again.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 01-06-2011 10:39 AM

(I haven't read everyone elses responses yet, so forgive me if I duplicate!)

Gigi I can remember (not so long ago) when i was 17. I wanted to be grown up soooo bad. Why? Because it's HARD being a teenager with so many limitations, having to share your space, having to be told what you can and cannot do. And you seem very much like I was at that age, way more mature than most 17 year olds. Parents will always be parents. What we as their children fail to do sometimes is to see them as actual human beings, with their own feelings, their own lives, their own emotions. Be patient with mom, soon enough you'll be an out on your own and you can truly build a friendship with her that will be unlike any other friendship you will ever have. And your brother, being 13....oh gosh, do you remember what it felt like to be 13? I do....going through puberty, all these hormonal changes, all these new things happening both to your body and mind. Yes, he's probably obnoxious, irrational, and SUPER annoying right now. Don't feed into that. Your parents shouldn't have to mediate a fight between a 13 year old and a 17 year old. He is a child. You are not, and more is expected of you than of him because he is 13. You also need to remember that with all this other stuff going on in your life that is causing you stress, it's probably coming through in the way you treat your family too....even if you don't realize it. None of us are perfect. (Except CW

)Like I said, before you know it you'll be in college, out on your own and life will change so very much.

As for boys. Well you know the one you had before was no good. Most of us women here have been through at least one of those types. Ya know, the ones that rope you in, make you feel things you've never felt, then break your heart. But breaking your hearts not quite enough, they want to keep you on a string to play with you like you're a puppet. And guys like that will......if you let them. But see, I can't see you being the type of gal to LET that happen. Because you're way too strong for that, and way too smart for that. So it's time to cut those ties with the ex, and that means ALL ties with him, so that you can move forward in your life. Nothing can ruin your future quite like your past can. So you have to let the past go, kick it out the door, so you can make room for all the awesome things ahead of you. (And trust me....there are LOTS of awesome things ahead of you. )

Don't let the "I might not be able to have a baby" thing weigh on your mind. First of all, most of us don't know if we can have children or not. We assume we can, but we don't really know until we try. You don't know if you'll ever be able to conceive a child.... well neither do I. I guess someday we will find out, won't we?

And if we try and can't, there will always be children in this world that need wonderful loving nurturing people like us to take care of them.

If you did well in home school, made good grades and such, you'll be fine on your ACT. Studying for it is fine, but don't obsess over it. The important thing is to brush up on your skills and get the test taken. The sooner you get it over with, the sooner you'll be in a college student. In my opinion, it's already a done deal....you've just gotta make it happen. You CAN make it happen.

As for jobs, have you considered local banks? Banks will often hire people in high school or straight out of high school to be bank tellers. And you get to meet lots of people.

Also, alot of the public school systems offer daycare services, I worked at one during the summers while I was in college. You might check that out, call and ask if they need any workers.

Girl, you've got this all covered. You're just going to have to keep your head up and be patient. Life will not always be easy....matter of fact, its hard lots of times, but with that there is lots of fun, lots of happiness, lots of joy and lots of great experiences. And always, ALWAYS come here when you need to vent or get some opinions. No matter how bad it seems, there are always answers, and there are ALWAYS ways to make it better. That's what we're here for.

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