Depression is running my life and I can't turn it around...:(

**sarahlee20** · 02-19-2011 10:46 PM

Lately I've felt so helpless and feel like i got nothing good going for me. As much as i love and appreciate my family and the one friend i do have. I can't find happiness in myself. I've always been a happy positive go lucky person as in when i was in my early teens and now I Just feel blah.I am in my early 20s now. I try so hard to be positive and happy ( at least around my family) but for some reason i am struggling badly with depression. I've always had it on and off but lately it's been real bad for some reason. I've been on anti depression meds for almost 10 years. The same kind of medicine too. I've tried for years to find happiness or at least a happy "balance" in myself and have succeeded before then failed. Right now i feel like i am failing. I've been sleeping alot and staying up all night and into the mornings and been sleeping for the day and have missed days at a time due to just sleeping them away in bed. I want to get out of this and find real happiness not only with my family but with myself as well. I don't know if I need to change meds right now but...I just feel like the world and everyone elses life is moving on but ME. I almost even wish i was like my my sister in law.. i know she has things going as in work school family life husband..etc I just worry that it will never happen for me. It scares me so much. I so desperately want to be happy and find the lovely husband and have the kids that i deserve and want. I know I'd be a good wife and mother. I Just don't know anymore

I wish someone had the answer for me. I am trying to get a job and will be signing up for school next month. Maybe something will come of that? Who knows? I sure hope. Sorry this is so long I just had to vent my sadness. Thanks all for reading this.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-20-2011 01:21 AM

You're trying to obtain the ultimate happiness, togetherness with someone equal and your searching, searching, searching but sweet, all your passions are in "marriage" nothing else, not you, who are you? Where are you personally heading, do you like yourself? Do you have a happy life? No, so how can you put it out there into the Universe are you asking that he "change you?"..

It starts with you, ....

See in your list, you want a man who has a good job, you don't have one... See how things must be equal to succeed...

What do you want to do at school? Are you happy with those choices?

CW

**jns** · 02-20-2011 08:06 AM

It sounds to me that you need to visit your doctor to see if your meds are working properly.

**Hopeless Dork** · 02-20-2011 09:31 AM

I think if you are not in the right emotional state, the worst thing you can do is bring a man into the picture -- that won't fix you, that will very likely put you in a position of centering your happiness on the man, which leaves you vulnerable to a world of hurt when you are overall emotional health is dependent on some guy.

Get yourself better first, that way when you are emotionally healthy... you won't settle for less than you deserve 'just to have somebody'... that way you will good and happy this way or that way... and it will be better for whatever man that enters your life to not be thrown into chaos and have to pay for all the feelings you should be dealing with outside of him.

Go back to your doctor, perhaps adjustments need to be made to your medicine... quit staying up all night... studies show that people that don't get sufficient daylight , that don't sleep at actual night time tend to be MORE depressed than people that are on the natural sleep cycle of sleep night/ awake day.. you need that fresh air and sunshine, it will organically boost your mood.

Exercise... this is a natural mood booster as well.

Nutrition... be sure you are giving your body healthy foods... avoid junk food and overreating that will make you feel sluggish and bad about yourself.

Spend time with people that care about you, close friends, family... laugh, have fun and enjoy life.

Get that job, start those classes... having goals, direction... a place in the world will help your overall emotional health as well...

When all your ducks are in a row and your mood is stable THEN allow yourself to be open to the possiblity of a relationship... but trying for that before squaring yourself away will not get you to your happy place.

**sarahlee20** · 02-20-2011 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

I think if you are not in the right emotional state, the worst thing you can do is bring a man into the picture -- that won't fix you, that will very likely put you in a position of centering your happiness on the man, which leaves you vulnerable to a world of hurt when you are overall emotional health is dependent on some guy.

Get yourself better first, that way when you are emotionally healthy... you won't settle for less than you deserve 'just to have somebody'... that way you will good and happy this way or that way... and it will be better for whatever man that enters your life to not be thrown into chaos and have to pay for all the feelings you should be dealing with outside of him.

Go back to your doctor, perhaps adjustments need to be made to your medicine... quit staying up all night... studies show that people that don't get sufficient daylight , that don't sleep at actual night time tend to be MORE depressed than people that are on the natural sleep cycle of sleep night/ awake day.. you need that fresh air and sunshine, it will organically boost your mood.

Exercise... this is a natural mood booster as well.

Nutrition... be sure you are giving your body healthy foods... avoid junk food and overreating that will make you feel sluggish and bad about yourself.

Spend time with people that care about you, close friends, family... laugh, have fun and enjoy life.

Get that job, start those classes... having goals, direction... a place in the world will help your overall emotional health as well...

When all your ducks are in a row and your mood is stable THEN allow yourself to be open to the possiblity of a relationship... but trying for that before squaring yourself away will not get you to your happy place.

Thank you HP. I am trying so hard to be happy like i said. I know what i want in the near future and I know what i want right now is to get into school and maybe find a partime job somewhere. I wish i could change my meds but that would probably cost money and money i don't have right now. I try to get good things to eat but i need the money to grocery shop and the money i have i been saving for an emergency. I want to take control but i feel like i can't take control. I mean i live at home still which is fine but I just i don't know i really don't just about ready to quit. I am tired of trying to look for distractions to my life I am really tired of it. I don't know what to do. I've been trying to get onto a regular sleeping schedule. Although I've spent most of my time reading to get my mind out of this depression thanks I will try to follow these guidelines.

**Seeker_Advice** · 02-21-2011 07:12 AM

Yes, you can take back control of your life and it's time to do so. I'm nearly fifty and have battled depression for most, if not all, of my life.

In my opinion, you need to:

1) Make an appointment to see your doctor and review your med. Lots of changes/improvements have happened in the antidepressant drug
arena in the last few years. I have been on seven different antidepressants at various dosage strengths until I/we found one that works.

2) Stop worrying about the financial cost of everything. What "cost" are you paying now by not being happy and healthy? A much greater
cost then the cost of getting the help you need.

3) Resume a more "normal" schedule to your day. Go to bed at a decent hour, 9?, 9:30?, 10? Whatever. Make your bedroom a place where
sleep and where you dress...period. Make it as sleep friendly at night as possible...dark and quiet. No TV, no stereo, no texting all hours
of the night.

4) Make yourself get up with the rest of the house. Take a shower, eat a nutritious breakfast (should contain a protein, a carbohydrate and
something else you enjoy...like fruit or fruit juice...or?). Then get dressed or better yet, come to breakfast dressed and ready for your day.

5) Do something that gets you OUT AMONG PEOPLE...go to the library, the mall, a coffee shop, etc. Someplace that forces you to see and be
seen by others. Generally, we feel better about ourselves by just being seen by others. Be satisfied that you were out among people today.

6) As part of your day, take a walk. Yes, it's bitter cold and the ice and sleet don't make it any better, but walking outside in fresh air makes
us feel better about ourselves.

7) Try to stay away from the "cave"...er...home as long as you can. When you feel that you have done all that you can do today, go home.
Stay out of your room until it's time to go to bed. Force yourself to interract with others.

8) Take GREAT SATISFACTION in the fact that you were able to accomplish any or all of the above.

9) REPEAT as often as you need to.

10) If you continue to struggle, or my many suggestions are too much too soon, then break your day into pieces or blocks of an hour or two.
Make yourself do something I have suggested for an hour or two. Then tomorrow, make it two or three hours, etc.

** Volunteer to help. People, like me, feel much better about themselves when they are able to do things for others. I have attempted to
"wear out" my welcome at the local food shelf, several soup kitchens, the library, helping out my elderly neighbor down the street, etc.
Funny thing is, there is always more to do....you will never wear out your welcome.

The economy in Michigan sucks right now! So I am sure that there is plenty that needs to be done on a volunteer basis, very close to where you live. There are also many companies that are hiring too. So do what you can TODAY, as long as you do something other than what you've been doing and you'll be okay.

Good luck!