Stress issues, what can I do to help

**razorbackfan91** · 02-25-2011 11:48 AM

First off I'll just make it clear that I am a male. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months(actually exactly 6 months, today). Ever since we've started dating it became clear to me that she is somewhat introverted, which is fine, I'm the same way. However, she goes through these phases where she just needs to be alone, she wants her space and again, totally fine. I understand. In the past these times have caused problems in our relationship because I am so in love with her and love spending time with her but when she's going through these stages, she has no interest in being with me which sucks at times.

Anyways, in the last week or so, she has been very stressed out due to issues with her roommate and school as she is taking 20 hours of high level classes. I have the hugest respect for her work ethic and the time that she spends studying and worrying about how she did on her exams, but it doesn't change the fact that I like to spend time with her. So during this past week I haven't spent much time at all with her and she seems even less interested to talk to me on the phone or text me. When I do get messages they are always as short as possible, to me this is frustrating because it makes me feel as if I've done something wrong and that she is dissatisfied with the relationship.

Then today I was texting her about the camping trip that we have planned together for this weekend and she seemed not excited at all due to stress. Finally I asked her what was wrong and got 'Nothing', 'Just a funk', 'and I'm so incredibly tired, physically, and just tired of everything', 'I want a huge drastic change in something'......I'm worried about this "funk" and the "drastic changes" that she wants because my mind automatically jumps to worst case scenario--a break up.

From a woman's perspective, is there anything that I can do to give her comfort and try and relieve her stress? I trust that a weekend alone with me in the woods may help, but I need advice. I care about her so much and would do anything, I just need to know if there is something that I should be doing or if giving her her space is what is really needed.

Thank you in advance.

**LanaBear** · 02-25-2011 11:59 AM

I think a weekend alone camping sounds WONDERFUL. Hopefully it will help.

All you can really do is be there for her. Don't automatically assume the worst, it won't help either of you. We all go through funks. I do and sometimes we just need to wiggle out of them on our own. But let her know you are there for her and will help her in any way that you can.

Bring her some a bunch of wildflowers this weekend. Give her a pleasant and relaxing massage by the campfire. Make it as much of a stress free weekend for her as you can.

Don't smother her though, one thing that really grates on my nerves is when I am in a funk and my husband is constantly asking what he can do, what is wrong, etc. We appreciate the concern, we really do, but if we tell you there isn't really anything that you can do, there probably isn't. Just let her know you care and that you are thinking about her, that you love her and tell her that if there is anything that you can do all she has to do is let you know.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-25-2011 01:53 PM

When pushed away, we tend to become a tad in-secure, act a little needy...

Being introverted has nothing to do with, needing space, it's being able to live on your own and be happy with yourself, you don't need anyone in your life, but you may "want" someone in it.. Space is because she's trying to cope with too much...

You would be better of texting her with one liners that don't require an answer, but will make her laugh, smile, not mushy something like, 1 more hour of that studying and get to sleep, or you'll grow hairs on your chest

Let her see your thinking of her, but not bugging her...It's your choice if this is the woman you want in your life, and it's her choice to choose study over a relationship but she's trying to do both, yet, is having difficulties, you can't be clingy, and I know you should be able to discuss your day, her yours, but if your in a relationship whereby she's inundated with other things, let her come to you. Absense makes the heart grow stronger, if she feels that she "has" to do her study, she "has" to put up with her room mate, she "has to answer text messages" there is nothing there for her, for her to smile at, laugh at, feel some form of good.

Have fun on the weekend, and don't turn it into a questioning weekend

CW