Am i Mentally Ill???

**Abby123** · 02-27-2011 03:54 PM

Im 16 years of age and study at college. a year ago i attempted suicide and was sent to see a psychologist for 12 weeks. in one to one situations i cannot talk and clam up and sit in silence so i think he gave up. ever since then ive been feeling down and its been getting worse. im constantly having suicidal thoughts and deciding what will happen if i die and who will it affect. i can see no future for me apart from not being here and it scares me. im constantly paranoid and believe everyone is talking about me and saying cruel words. i constantly hear my phone go off even though it doesn't and feel alert and anxious all the time. i find it hard to sleep concentrate and even remember anything about the day. if anyone jokes with me or says something a bit confusing i go to extremes and it drives me crazy thinking of what it meant and stuff. i find it hard to have romantic relationships once i meet someone because i act in a weird way around them and talk to much. sometimes im very talkative and am about to speak to anyone where as other times im very nervous around people and shy and cant speak.
please help me
thankyou xx

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-27-2011 06:13 PM

You're growing up and confused over life in general...

You know inside why you are not happy, but maybe your sub-conscious is hiding the reason?

It's hard to open up and talk to strangers ,but what about a computer? In other words, Abbey, us, we don't know you, you don't know us and all you are doing is writing and reading

It's good that you can talk and talk ... but when you go back inside yourself, there is a reason...Even if you are a little afraid of how people will react to your words, the more you talk, the easier it will become.

Tell us about your childhood, and there has to be something that makes you happy, do you like flowers, art, animals....

Welcome to the Forum sweet.

CW

**jns** · 02-27-2011 09:30 PM

It sounds like you may be bipolar. Have you been evaluated by a psychiatrist (not psychologist) or a doctor for a chemical imbalance?

**bonniebonbon** · 04-21-2011 06:09 AM

bless ya love,
i know how you feel my head jabbers about a whole load of like if i dont cross the road quicker enough
before the car comes il be dead or things like gotta press the traffic lights button 50 times before 10 cars come its
horrible i always thiink my phone goin off or vibratin.. plus i get the erge to hit my beloverd friends and family for no reason
or swear at the top of my lungs in the street if i dont i kick my self and go qwite

**kel0887** · 04-21-2011 02:05 PM

I am 23, and have went through the same thing. I started having these feelings and thoughts when I was about 10, at least thats when I can remember having them. I am normally a shy person, until I get around someone that I am comfortable with, then you can't get me to shut up. I went to a counselor whenever I was 18 because I had got to the point where I couldn't trust myself to act sane anymore. I was having outbursts of crying, thinking someone was constantly putting me down, and most of all because I was having suicidal thoughts and tendencies. I tend to take anything anyone says to me and pick it apart til I am sure that they have in some way made me out to be a bad person. The counselor I went to see told me that I had ADD. I was not happy with this conclusion, however thought, ok, I will see what they can do for me. After several rounds of different kinds of ADD medication, I decided this particular counselor was a quack. I stopped going and things continued to get worse. Thought no one in their right mind could possibly love the person that I am and gave up on trying to find someone who wanted me to be a part of their life. Who would want to be involved with someone who is constantly acting crazy? I came to terms with the fact that I am a lesbian whenever I was 18, and this did not bother me a bit. I had had enough of trying to hide who I was. Once I realized that I could be me without having someone elses approval, I got a lot happier. Yet, I still tended to have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of just hurting myself. I have been in a relationship for 4 1/2 years and I am really happy over all. However, I can't seem to have a steady happiness. I can't smile constantly, I still have suicidal thoughts. My partner finally decided that she couldn't deal with me anymore, and that I needed help. I have been put on depression/anxiety medicine, and have been taking it faithfully for a month. Normally these medicines take a while to get into your system, unless they are going to work for you, then you might notice a difference within a week. I started to see a psychotherapist a month ago, right after I started taking the medication. I normally get embarassed to talk about what goes through my mind, especially whenever you know you are talking to someone who can analyze what it is you are going through. There are various types of depression, I have a type of depression where I can't link up any certain event or reason to the feelings I am having. I get to the point where I want to be alone, think about killing myself, cry for hours, and get downright mean and hateful to whoever comes near me, even if it is my partner, who I test to her limits. You aren't going crazy Abby123, 16 is a very difficult age for a female! If you are having thoughts of suicide, and know that your choice will affect people who love you, you know in your heart that isn't really what you want to do. My family doctor linked me up with a psychotherapist who is gay, making me feel more comfortable to talk about my sexuality, even though I don't have a problem with who I am, but it is someone to talk to who knows the struggles of a homosexual life. I am in no way suggesting that this may be your case, I think you would greatly benefit from having a sit down talk with your doctor, and asking to be placed under the care of a psychotherapist who may have something in common with you, and they normally can find someone who has the sames interests. Someone who played sports in high school/college, if that is something you are also interested in for example. Keep your head up girl, I don't think you are crazy, you may have a chemical imbalance, which doesn't mean you're crazy, you just may need a boost.

**Abby123** · 04-28-2011 03:24 PM

Its been getting worse, sometimes im so down i can't even eat and feel sick to my stomach and even though i've had a good time and enjoyed my friends company in the day, i still feel so sad adn upset. ive been having suicidal thoughts since i was young around 10ish maybe younger, some weeks its like im in a black hole and i just can't get out and then other times i act as if im on drugs, i do things and act in a hyper way but its uncontrolable, in the mornings i tell myself to act normal today and im then i act so exitable and hyper and i can't help it. i also craze attention when im like this and love people always talking to me, i over read people still and i have serious troubles with relationships because i go to extremes alot of the times in everything even though i can't help it. Right now i feel really low and keep on having flashbacks to when i attempted suicide, i don't know how long i can take this, i can't cope anymore can someone please tell me what to do??

**jns** · 04-28-2011 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by jns

It sounds like you may be bipolar. Have you been evaluated by a psychiatrist (not psychologist) or a doctor for a chemical imbalance?

Originally Posted by Abby123

Its been getting worse, sometimes im so down i can't even eat and feel sick to my stomach and even though i've had a good time and enjoyed my friends company in the day, i still feel so sad adn upset. ive been having suicidal thoughts since i was young around 10ish maybe younger, some weeks its like im in a black hole and i just can't get out and then other times i act as if im on drugs, i do things and act in a hyper way but its uncontrolable, in the mornings i tell myself to act normal today and im then i act so exitable and hyper and i can't help it. i also craze attention when im like this and love people always talking to me, i over read people still and i have serious troubles with relationships because i go to extremes alot of the times in everything even though i can't help it. Right now i feel really low and keep on having flashbacks to when i attempted suicide, i don't know how long i can take this, i can't cope anymore can someone please tell me what to do??

Please get evaluated for a bipolar condition.

**kel0887** · 04-28-2011 10:36 PM

Abby123...please get evaluated for bipolar disorder. or maybe a borderline personality disorder. it sounds like you have lived with this for too long, and are at your wits end. you know it isn't healthy and by coming onto this site, you are asking and looking for help, and know you really don't want to end your life. i suggest getting help from a psychiatrist. hope and pray for the best for you! keep your head up, even though some days, I know that is hard to do!

**belinda_davis** · 05-02-2011 09:31 PM

could be schizophrenia, i was diagnosed with it when i was around your age. if they say you should take medication then take it. trust me you will feel so much better!
talk to a doctor, if you feel you can't talk to them just write a list of your symptoms and give it to them. they'll know what to do.
don't let it go on like this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, things will get better. you just need to reach out and get help. life is worth living, even if it doesn't always seem like it.