Thread: Trying to help with depression...

He needs to get help as soon as posible. Sounds like he is close to hitting rock bottom and that hurts especialing if you never recover from it. if you can tell him that you love him and that you dont know how he feels or what he is going through but you are there for him none the less i have to have the same talk to my mother who is going through depression right now.
have him make some goals start out easy and work his way up they will give him a feeling of accomplishment and help him. he also needs to let go of his dependency of you. I have finaly got to the point where if my husband where to die unexpectedly i think i would be able to live my life again and not go insain with my own greif. If you have any more questions I am always willing to help answer what i can. its something that helps me deal with my past and also gives me that feeling of accomplishment.
good luck and god bless

I was once told that depression can be compared to with waves. The negative feelings can be expressed in small ways and then build into these out of control heart wrenching situations. If your boyfriend talks of "disappearing" then he has thoughts of suicide. Just like he pushes himself physically and neglects himself-the thoughts of suicide will never go away. You should really try to get a friend or family member to help him find help. I know that in a way you might be enabling him by trying to get someone to help him make an appointment and even accompany him to the appointment but sometimes people with depression just need help and they won't have the will to do it themselves. Sometimes the simplest of tasks such as making and appointment and going to it can be overwhelming. He may have one or two good days in between the hard times but it sounds like you want to support him. Don't beat yourself up either because you are in a long distance relationship. You care for him enough to write for advice. He needs to see a psychiatrist and get on some form of medication and express his thoughts in order to get better. You are trying your best with what you have and that trait is very commendable. I hope I've shed some light on the situation and my prayers are with you. If you need anything-let me know. God Bless

Thank you so much for your comments.. It really helps. Right now he is on a high... really happy. Says he's going to start a routine so he's not working so much and is getting more time to sleep, eat and take care of himself. I made him promise to make an appointment to go see a doctor, so he says he's going next week. I'm relieved that he's feeling better, but i understand that it's just temporary. It's exactly like you said... it comes in waves. Every month or so we go through this... he hits a low and is completely depressed but then a week after.. he's on top of the world and so happy with life. It's frustrating for me because i wish he was this happy all the time. Anyway, right now i'm just trying to be supportive for him and encouraging him to talk about it and get some help. I think that admitting there's a problem and talking about it openly is a big thing. That can be really hard to admit, especially for a guy i think... So we will see how this appointment goes. I will try to think of some goals i could get him to work on. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

I hope he goes ahead and gets the help he needs.

Sam, if worse comes to worse, if I were you, I'd call the EMS and tell them this man is talking of harming himself and to please help him!
They'll come out there and he'll be admitted into a psyche unit so that he'll be forced to get help. Period.

But, at this point, since you say he's doing better and has a reduced-work schedule and has some goals made, just keep a close watch on the situation.

Does his family where he is know that he's been feeling this way and going through this? If not, please make them aware. They are physically closer to him than you are, so if something should happen, they'll need to be aware of it -- even to the point of necessary hospitalization.
When the hospital staff asks questions, they will need to know this.