Is it normal to fantasize about a dead person?

**collegegirl2010** · 03-23-2011 01:06 PM

Is it normal to fantasize about a dead person being alive?
Not anyone you know, but a celebrity/singer you are a big fan of. Is it normal to fantasize about a dead person sexually as a way to deal with insecurities, body image problems, and self-esteem issues? Is something wrong with me?

I don't want to have sex with a dead person in no way. I just picture that person still being alive like they never died. It's like in my imagination that person never died.

I know how to deal with reality, I just kind of fantasize to get away from reality. Its kind of a way to comfort myself, while dealing with my problems.

The celeb is Michael Jackson. And I did sort of find him attractive. and when I say deal with insecurities, I mean its the thought that someone may actually want to be with me that makes me feel good. I know it sound confusing and crazy but thats how I feel.

Is this normal? or should I talk to someone about it?

**pretzel** · 03-23-2011 01:36 PM

My opinion, completely normal. He was someone you idolized (many millions of his fans did) who died way too young. Yes, it's normal to wish he were still alive. Yes, it's normal to fantasize about him being alive.

Btw, don't ever lose the thought that someone WILL (not may) actually want to be with you and that is a good feeling to all of us.

**spurzzz** · 03-23-2011 01:39 PM

"as a way to deal with insecurities, body image problems, and self-esteem issues? Is something wrong with me?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You just answered your own question. You have listed 3 problems already that you yourself know you have to deal with.

I don't think anyone is certified to say "you have a problem" as every individual is different. It is what it is and that is a fantasy. My guess is you have thought about Micheal from childhood, he is to you a figure to escape from, something for you to think about and help you deal with modern day stress. Many people turn to Mastubation as a way to deal with stress, as well as numerous other ways.

The fact that you have to ask if its normal suggests for you that it isn't. What I would suggest is working on the problems you know you need to deal with. Fantasising is no different to what alcoholics do to escape reality........it does not solve the problem, only temporarily blocks it out.

Work on your confidence for one. Start doing some research on how you can improve this area of your life, read books. Low self esteem is a major factor for many people and can really ruin someones life. Go out with friends more, take up new hobbies, a course maybe? Once you start loving yourself and have more confidence, you will not worry so much about someone else loving you and know that through time, patience and a little aquired effort perhaps the right person will come along for you!

You make me want to watch "this is it" again. What a truly wonderful man Micheal was. May his Soul rest in peace. Ameen.

**collegegirl2010** · 03-23-2011 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by pretzel

My opinion, completely normal. He was someone you idolized (many millions of his fans did) who died way too young. Yes, it's normal to wish he were still alive. Yes, it's normal to fantasize about him being alive.

Btw, don't ever lose the thought that someone WILL (not may) actually want to be with you and that is a good feeling to all of us.

Thanks...that made me feel a lot better.

**collegegirl2010** · 03-23-2011 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by spurzzz

"as a way to deal with insecurities, body image problems, and self-esteem issues? Is something wrong with me?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You just answered your own question. You have listed 3 problems already that you yourself know you have to deal with.

I don't think anyone is certified to say "you have a problem" as every individual is different. It is what it is and that is a fantasy. My guess is you have thought about Micheal from childhood, he is to you a figure to escape from, something for you to think about and help you deal with modern day stress. Many people turn to Mastubation as a way to deal with stress, as well as numerous other ways.

The fact that you have to ask if its normal suggests for you that it isn't. What I would suggest is working on the problems you know you need to deal with. Fantasising is no different to what alcoholics do to escape reality........it does not solve the problem, only temporarily blocks it out.

Work on your confidence for one. Start doing some research on how you can improve this area of your life, read books. Low self esteem is a major factor for many people and can really ruin someones life. Go out with friends more, take up new hobbies, a course maybe? Once you start loving yourself and have more confidence, you will not worry so much about someone else loving you and know that through time, patience and a little aquired effort perhaps the right person will come along for you!

You make me want to watch "this is it" again. What a truly wonderful man Micheal was. May his Soul rest in peace. Ameen.

Thanks for the advice! And yea he was a beautiful human being.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-23-2011 02:35 PM

I knew it was Michael Jackson before opening this

Imagination AND escaping....there.

People that can think logically but have a vivid imagination, often are very successful with anything creative in life.

I am sure I had an imaginary friend when I was a very, little girl....I saw witches, Father Xmas and The Easter Bunny so my imagination must have been huge

Yet I grew up logical, but creative and I still have a very strong imagination when I want to visualise.

You are using your brain for more than just day to day living, you're taking yourself to places, but that doesn't mean you are crazy, that would be if you actually believed he was alive and visting you in real life

**collegegirl2010** · 03-24-2011 08:31 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

I knew it was Michael Jackson before opening this

Imagination AND escaping....there.

People that can think logically but have a vivid imagination, often are very successful with anything creative in life.

I am sure I had an imaginary friend when I was a very, little girl....I saw witches, Father Xmas and The Easter Bunny so my imagination must have been huge

Yet I grew up logical, but creative and I still have a very strong imagination when I want to visualise.

You are using your brain for more than just day to day living, you're taking yourself to places, but that doesn't mean you are crazy, that would be if you actually believed he was alive and visting you in real life

awww, lol at your first sentence. I figured you would know because I talk about him so much, lol. And thanks for commenting mom! you always know how to make me feel better!

**evilgothicjenn** · 04-16-2011 05:47 PM

Lol. That was a... Bad title for it XD I think most of us assumed necrophilia?? But yeah, you're fine. There's nothing wrong with it. Unless I see a person's body in a coffin, and feel the cold of them, I never truly can imagine them as dead. They always live on in my mind, and mostly, I actually FORGET they've died!!

**musicfiend1987** · 08-12-2011 07:28 PM

I can relate SO MUCH. More than you can imagine lol I've fantascized about MJ my entire life, I always compared him to every man I've ever liked, dated, loved, etc.. He was always the measurement that nobody ever quite lived up to. I didn't just love him because he was an icon/legend. I loved him way past the music. I loved the human being he was. I've had the chance to meet him but i couldn't make it, & was even at the funeral. Him dying devastated me. I still struggle w/it sometimes as you do with anybody you love passes. But I know life goes on. I still carry the torch! lol Still fantascize about him all the time, still gets so turned on over how I WANTED THINGS TO BE BACK THEN WHEN HE WAS ALIVE. How i wished things worked out. I know its fantasy & i know for sure now there's no chance of ithappening but nothing is wrong with still fantascizing. A woman can still dream right?

One word of advice I LIVE by especially since him passing in 2009 is dont worry about what other people think or say or criticize about it. Uninformed, ignorant ppl out there who didnt like MJ, or didn't understand him will never understand your point of view. So don't worry about pleasing them. Be resilient to that. As long as your not letting these "fantasies" control your life and as long as you know that they aren't reality. And that he's resting in peace. Then its all good. Don't sweat it if someone tells you otherwise. Some of my friends who are very supportive helped me look at it this way...like imagine when a widow looses their spouse or something...dont you think they still fantasize or think about their spouse? Its human nature when you had feelings for someone like that.

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