Dark place

**evilgothicjenn** · 04-18-2011 12:19 PM

All psyche pills SUCK. They screw you up worse in the long run. For most people I know anyway (including myself)
The dark place, it is terrible at first... it's boring, tiring, awful. But after a little while there, it feels like home. It's so nice really, not caring about anything. Doing nothing. Being almost.... Nonexistent. Just talking about it makes me wanna go back to it really. But it's not good!! Not at all. It's not healthy, and no, we're not thinking right. We're off our rockers! XD but really, sometimes crawling away into the dark is the best thing to help your mind. Whenever I feel my depression coming on, and life seems to be too much for me anymore, I schedule some "dark place" time. I get depressed and lazy, don't do anything, take some time off from the world, and usually end up taking sleeping pills and sleeping for 3-7 days... Oversleeping isn't healthy, it makes it harder to get up out of bed and get back to life when that week is up, but once you DO drag yourself away, life seems SO much easier! I really do think we all just need a break every once in a while. And when you're broke like me, and can't do something healthy like go on a vacation to Hawaii or something once a year, sleeping for a week is good enough ^_^

**Agony_Aunt** · 04-18-2011 08:02 PM

Yep, it is a break wee all need, when there is so much going on and it all starts to get on top of you.

For me, I just shut down and lock myself away, and as you said be, nonexistent.
It is really hard to get back out of that new routine you have set up for yourself. But you do feel better when you are getting out of it.

I am turning the corner now and starting to feel better. The thing is though, it's just so easy to slip back in to it, especially for people with depression. In fact it's a struggle not to slip back in to it. But in my opinion, it just makes the fight so much more worth it

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-20-2011 02:33 AM

But in my opinion, it just makes the fight so much more worth it

**Agony_Aunt** · 04-20-2011 01:38 PM

Gotta keep positive about it and believe in myself

**miffed23** · 04-21-2011 11:58 AM

Originally Posted by Agony_Aunt

Gotta keep positive about it and believe in myself

I really get the feeling that you know exactly what youve got to do, you know what will make you feel happier and this is great grounds to start. It really is.

Meditation, fab suggestion if it suits you. Clear your thoughts, ground yourself to the present. A very powerful question that brings you smack into the now is simply "Is there anything really wrong with me right now?" Chances are you will be sitting there, breathing, with a body that functions and you will feel good. Living in the present is vital to move forward. Everything thats happened, even if it were a second ago, has happened. I thoroughly recommend reading 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle or any of Eckhart Tolle's work is fantastically uplifting.

Take some time out in nature, walk bear foot in the grass and keep knowing that you will get better.

**Agony_Aunt** · 04-21-2011 01:19 PM

Yes, it does feel like I know what I have to do and all thats left to with it is, to just do it.

I have listened to some hypnotherapy cd's during the week, and I couldn't believe how relaxed I felt. Had been such a long time since my head felt clear of thoughts. I really felt amazing.

I live in a little country village, so nature is all around me, I just have to take it in. I will look up that book, I like reading, so hopefully it will help me. Thank you very much

**gal007** · 04-25-2011 01:41 PM

Hi there. Okay i posted a long post on my background and ill post it here again. I just want to stress that medications are VERY TRICKY TO GET RIGHT! just read through my story and youll get me!
I grew up without a dad, he died before I was born. All the time I was growing up I was SO angry, just bursting with it and so negative, and depressed really. As I grew up, i just felt not so much angry but down all the time. School wasn't helping and constant put downs from so called 'friends' just drove me even further down and i had no self esteem and still dont. I also underwent two inguinal hernia operations which was traumatising... etcc..... I then had severe anxiety and I was messed up I went to a psychiatrist and she gave me 50mg of Sertraline (its an antidepressant/antianxiety drug (an SSRI)) got serious depersonalisation but then it worked after 3 weeks and i was getting so much better but then tragedy struck! At christmas last year i think it was, I came down with something god awfulll, either swine flu or glandular fever and i felt so awful, not least because of the symptoms physically but what bad illnesses can do to you too mentally. I went further down into a spiral and i couldnt get myself out of it. I already had problems, and post viral fatigue and post viral depression just got me and didnt let go.They increased the medication which made me more depressed, suicidal. Then I went on Citalopram(another drug) and that made me even more depersonalised, then they took me off them just like that (which you shouldnt do cus you have to come off them gradually. If you are on a Antidepressant SSRI group drug for more than 6months and you stop suddenly you get discontiuation syndrome) , so they said ' yeah stop'and guess what i got Discontiuation syndrome! - like electric shocks going through my head. People were embarrased they hadnt realised this would happen...I went to another clinic and they then put me on Prozac that worked for a while and then sent me manic. Came off that and got discontiuation syndrome again, someone else gave me Mirtazapine which made me slightly Psychotic!) and stopped it got discontiunation syndrome yet again. Since then my symptoms have changed from straight forward 'depression' and 'anxiety and depersonalisation' to serious mood fluctuations, depersonalisation but really really bad,,, i harmed myself (which i regret) and never ever harm yourself youre worth more than that okay girl? x and I feel like im talking to myself, feel withdrawn, have no connection to my family and loads of other things. The doctor has arranged for a more 'specialised' person to meet with me and do a reassesment. apparantly things can develop so its important to get a proper diagnosis.
My advice as it would be to anyone would get an appointment with a proper psychiatrist or something like that. or get youre family to take you to one. Please stress to them this 'Depression or any mental health issue is an illness its not something you 'snap out of' Because you cant see the wound or illness people assume its not there or is being 'made up' Mental illnesses / issues (not saying you have one) are nearly always worse.'I get so irritated if anyone even remotely HINTS at snapping out of it or all that. SOme people cant accept things like that, they cant 'deal with it' and really theres nothing you can do but accept it. (from what ive experienced.)

I do hope that knowing youre not alone is some comfort. Through the bad spells- hunker down, grit your teeth and it will pass. PLEASE DO NOT HARM YOURSELF! try and resist the thoughts that 'ending it all' is a good idea, you dont know how severe these have been for me and so many and probably you but if you ever SERIOUSLY or even minorly think you might do something call 999/911/ get yourself to casualty. GET help. And contact me if you wish

Love