Am I depressed? Advice? Please?

**Nemo** · 04-24-2011 10:08 PM

Hi. I'm fifteen years old and I think I might have depression. About a year and a half ago I started cutting myself to help with the emotional pain. I have recently stopped with the help of my best friend, but I still want to do it. I live with my mother her boyfriend and my sister and I do not get along with any of them. My life at home is not good at all and there is a lot of fighting. I have many friends, but i only let a few of them see the real me. I have major trust issues and only trust a few people so I don't have the opportunity to get many peoples advice. In the past six months I have had suicidal thoughts but I have not attempted anything. My best friend is the only one who knows about my suicide issues and he does try to help me but it isn't enough. I get very little sleep 4 out of 5 nights and I haven't had much of an appetite for a while. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm scared that I may need some help. Please, any advice? I'm not close to anyone in my family so I don't know who to turn to now other than my best friend and I don't want to dump everything on him. So, please, if you have any advice share. Thank you.

**FortunsFoole** · 04-25-2011 12:09 AM

First off I want to say that admitting to all of this is a Huge step in a healthier direction. Regardless of whether you have clinical depression or not there are still some major issues going on that it sounds like you need to find a much healthier outlet and way to deal with them other than through physical pain.

There sounds like there are so many problems.. between family life being stressful with all the fighting, hiding yourself from all but one friend and only having one person in your life that it sounds like you are willing to depend on. Not to mention lack of sleep and all the physiological/psychological things going on at fifteen... it all compounds on itself. That is A LOT for one person to deal with.

I had started cutting when I was 12... it took me 10 years before I was willing to recognize that I truly needed help and to seek it out. Even finding maybe an online support group(there are A LOT out there that actually can trigger you to cut, so keep an eye out and keep away from those sorts of places where people post pictures or detailed accounts of what they have or are doing to themselves). I would definitely, if you can, try to see a therapist. I was medicated for a little while until I was able to work with the tools my therapist helped me learn on how to deal with overwhelming emotional issues. It was nice to have someone calm to talk to.. an outside perspective that didn't just listen or judge or tell me how I Should be... but we figured out what I wanted as an outcome and worked on ways that I could adjust myself to get there. If you are ready to take that step I think it would be a really good way to go.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-27-2011 05:08 AM

Hello sweet Fortunsfoole, has given her personal self to you, that's admirable a role model?

But you also need someone, a grandmother? Church? How can you get to a Doctor to help you.

You are stuck in this family for at least 3 more years, I just want to say to you, we are here always, keep writing okay

CW

**rcoreyus** · 04-27-2011 11:56 AM

All I can suggest is for you to remember that you have a long life ahead of you - probably another 80 years. The problems you are facing now with your family are very real, but in a few years you will be away from them, with the whole rest of your life ahead of you.

If I could talk to my younger self, I think the most important thing I would point out is how long life is, and that there is a LOT of time for things to get better and to fix problems. You are still young enough that however bad things may be now, you can still do almost anything with your life.

What would you like your life to be like in 5 years, and in 20 years? Think about that, then you can think about how to get there.

**Nemo** · 04-27-2011 11:12 PM

Thank you all very much for the advice. I think I am going to try to talk to mother about it. If any of you have any more advice, or advice on how to try to talk to my mother without getting into another fight please share. Thanks!

**rcoreyus** · 04-28-2011 09:30 AM

One suggestion for dealing with difficult people is to try to understand what they are thinking. This is NOT the same as agreeing with what they think, but if you know how they think you can interact with them more easily. For example, an overprotective parent who doesn't let you have any sort of personal life can be a real problem. If you understand that they are trying to protect you from the "big bad world" (probably because they were hurt by it themselves), then you may be able to reassure them about the things that worry them. If you have a parent who is not paying you attention, maybe it is because they are so stressed with other worries in life that they always put you off (thinking that they will make it up to you later). In each case I think they are doing the wrong thing, but that its important to know why they are doing it.

**FortunsFoole** · 04-28-2011 10:04 AM

rcoreyus has good advice for how to try and work around the issues of starting a fight. Think about the sorts of things, even wording, that might set your mom off and avoid those. If she wants to know why, keep the answer very general to what sorts of overwhelming feelings you're having... avoid using the word "you" or "people"... she might get defensive and feel you're blaming her. If it can keep the situation calm and get you to some help.. then I think holding back a bit in that instance can be a huge help. Discuss everything with your doctor and, if you go this route, your therapist.

Keep in mind that some people have a have a hard time understanding and separating the idea of cutting versus suicide attempts. When I finally talked about it I had to actually show the person so they knew that's not what was going on.

I think it is very important that you do seek out help as soon as you can. You admitted to having suicidal thoughts, it's really important that those thoughts don't progress any further.

Good luck, and I hope you have a chance to talk to your mom soon.

If you have any other questions, want to vent or maybe even update us on your progress.... we're here.

**FortunsFoole** · 04-28-2011 10:05 AM

rcoreyus has good advice for how to try and work around the issues of starting a fight. Think about the sorts of things, even wording, that might set your mom off and avoid those. If she wants to know why, keep the answer very general to what sorts of overwhelming feelings you're having... avoid using the word "you" or "people"... she might get defensive and feel you're blaming her. If it can keep the situation calm and get you to some help.. then I think holding back a bit in that instance can be a huge help. Discuss everything with your doctor and, if you go this route, your therapist.

Keep in mind that some people have a have a hard time understanding and separating the idea of cutting versus suicide attempts. When I finally talked about it I had to actually show the person so they knew that's not what was going on.

I think it is very important that you do seek out help as soon as you can. You admitted to having suicidal thoughts, it's really important that those thoughts don't progress any further.

Good luck, and I hope you have a chance to talk to your mom soon.

If you have any other questions, want to vent or maybe even update us on your progress.... we're here.