Hes depressed. Am I? comment.
I left my boyfriend of a year and a half for another guy who iv now been dating for about a year and a half also. hes clinicaly depressed and gets down somtimes. but iv noticed it seems i get more down then he does. i get sad or mad everyday and HES getting tierd of it. idk whats wrong with me. he says one thing wrong and i get all mad at him and its not even that bad of what he said. idk if im also clinicaly depressed or bipolar or something bc i cry for no reason sometimes. it just comes out of the blue and idk why. also since i get down all the time i bring him down and he use to be a cutter till we started dating and he said he wouldnt do it anymore because he loves me so much. i even use to self abuse myself but have alsop stoped. it wasnt bad self abuse for me. i just scratched my skin till it bled. but the other day i seen that he scratched himself. not till it bled but pretty closeand it hurt alot that i cant make him happy anymore. idk what to do. he said that he wanted o see why i did it way back when even though he use to actually cut and burn hiself. i hqve to be happy so he can be happy and not turn to his old ways. i just dont know how to be happy anymore. everything gets me down or mad. can anyone give me advice or what they think about the situation?
You mention first of the ex boyfriend and that you left him for this person, does that bother you? It seems that there is to you some importance in that statement.
It's great that you both have stopped self harm, and that there is love there...
Do you both spend alot of time together with not much else happening in your life? Tell us about your jobs, home life, financial situation, living arrangements, it may help a little more for the members to reply...
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Well about the first boyfriend thing i still kinda miss the guy but i know iv made a good choise with my new one. and also i see my current boyfriend almost 24/7 he basically lives with me. he maybe goes to sleep at someone eleses house once every two weeks. so yah he lives with me. i dont have a job but he does and im looking for one. he says he gets all excited to see me after work and misses me and then when he gets home im happy but then he says i get sad and he blames it on himself and i think its just me getting sad becuase i get sad. hes like the greatest bf in the world but yet i still get mad at him for stupid reasons. to be honest idk what im asking i just kinda want to know someones opion about it. yesterday he said i made him miserable and that i never think about him but he loves me. and when i broke down today about him being miserable cuz of me he tells me hes not and that hes thinking clearer. but idk if hes telling the truth. i believe he loves me but i still think i make him miserable. i love him like no other.
~White Rose~
Ask yourself, what you were doing with the other boyfriend, I don't think you miss himI think things were a bit different in that relationship, maybe you were working or maybe you had a set of friends and went out and about more.
It could be that you are at home all the time, finances are tough for you, it's lonely during the day, you are bored with yourself and therefore whilst he worked and looks forward to coming home to you, you look forward to seeing him but you are upset with "your life" your lifestyle and take it out on him?
Be positive, know that you WILL get that job, send out resume's like it's Christmas and dress up and knock on people's door, if you've lost contact with some friends, maybe they work and you don't yet, volunteer somewhere so that you mingle and feel that something is worthy for you..And, if you had a hobby but you've given it up, see if you can take it back up again, it may be simple like drawing
I think you are missing "a life"...
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
To add to what CW is saying, in a healthy relationship you are not each other's be all, end all. You both need to get out with friends, have other interests and hobbies and just generally have a good degree of satisfaction and happiness in your lives each on your own. A partner should be the icing on the cake, not the full meal.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
You could have a better relationship based on goodness and forgiveness. Why do you become so mad with him? You should simply forgive him when he upsets you.
Use humor to deal with what is unpleasant. Instead of becoming irritated or sad when something is not the way you like, make fun of the situation.
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