Thread: What are your patterns ?

* Angry
* Powerless
* Not good enough
* Sad
* Joy/Over-joy
* Resentful

The toughest emotions/feelings for me are: feelings of being powerless, feeling of not being good enough. I realize as I get older that most of my fears come from the fear of not being in control in that situation. My fear of flying, my fear of being trapped etc. These are instances in which I am out of control.

What I'm having trouble with, is that I don't outwardly express those fears, or sadness, or feeling powerless or not good enough. They are very real, very present, but I internalize them and they come out of me in other ways. (i.e. bad dreams, neck breaking out in "the flare", rapid heart rate, picking my thumbs until they hurt..etc) I find that I almost ALWAYS wear a smile regardless of what turmoil is going on inside of me. And while people admire that, it's probably hard on the physical body in the long run.

I guess in other words, it's just all internal for me. I dont know how to pin-point what I "do" like the others have said, because I don't really do anything different outwardly. I hope this makes sense.

When I get worked up, stressed, anxious, tense I notice I tend to pace around a lot. I was on the phone one day talking to a friend (I had been angry and upset) it wasn't till after I got of the phone that I realized I had been pacing up and down for about 40 mins in my living room that I had actually worked up a sweat lol

I tend to do a fair bit of pacing, this comes down to anxiety issues.

I am an over thinker, I always read way more into things and make what would be a normal situation into a big issue. I don't know how to over come this though. I think it comes a lot from family issues since I was a kid and being hurt badly in relationships! I have no trust and am very quick to jump to conclusions that everyone is only out to hurt me and close myself of or somehow push them away. It's a big problem at the moment