Hypochondriac, anxiety, panic, stress, depression, chronic pain, migraines...

**twizzie** · 06-26-2011 04:46 AM

I've been diagnosed with all of these things except hypochondriasis.
I know I have it, though lol

Anyway. I'm 17. Dad died v-day in 06.
uncle died easter last year.
was molested as a kid.
have lived on my own since i was 15.

Not the funnest life. My doc won't prescribe me anything for anything.
I've tried breathing, exercise, yoga, etc, and nothing works or helps at all.
My old doc prescribed my clonazepam - 1mg tablet 3 times a day but I've always only taken one a day.
But I had to switch docs, so now I get them from my mother.
Still take 1mg 1x a day and it controls my anxiety - until something happens. like a shake, or pain in my head, or a noise...anything can trigger my anxiety

Plus I have been diagnosed with severe depression and I am stressed, have chronic back pain and hip pain...daily migraines. It's horrid!!! It's controlling my life, and I hate it! I try to say "I'll be ok, I'll be ok...It's just an attack" and it works for a second.
then my heart races. and i freak out.

I think these are the types of anxiety/phobias I have

Agoraphobia
(I feel lost or abandoned when in a public place and my significant other goes away, even five feet away. I get stiff and scared.)
Social phobia
(Can't go to concerts anymore. Can't be around a large crowd...my knees get weak and give out. I feel faint.)

Acrophobia
(Even looking at a tall bulding on a TV scares me, and makes me close my eyes)

Carcinophobia
(I was admitted into the hospital because I had migraines everyday for about 2 months and I thought I had a brain tumor. This has happened twice. I had a CT scan and was fine, both times)

It's draining me, and I don't know what to do! I am happily engaged...I mean I am a happy person.
My family has just fallen apart, Ive had to grow up so fast, and so much other stuff.
I just get to thinking every day "I can't believe this is my life...is it real? am I real?"
and random stuff like that....

What should I do?

**Mes T** · 06-26-2011 05:04 AM

Okay. I think because of all of these events that have happened to you in such quick succession and so early in life, you might be feeling like you're still on this roller coaster that's just gaining more and more speed and is basically out of your control.

The engagement sounds to me like something you've picked up along the way on this speeding roller coaster. Of course I don't know you or your partner..

But it seems too soon to me. Your age being one factor, of course, but mostly all of these other issues. I think it would be better to not be thinking about marriage, life-long commitment, til death do us part, at this stage in your life. Wouldn't it be nice to "sort" everything out before settling down? To go to parties, hang out with your girlfriends, do some crazy things, make mistakes, learn about yourself, grow, and find happiness?

Anyway, if you could change something in your life right now, what would it be? Would you change your job, your apartment, your bedroom decorations, your friends, your car? Do you have goals? Is there anything in your life that you can pinpoint that is making you unhappy? Not something from the past, but something from the present? Something that you COULD potentially change, if you wanted to?

Could you maybe use your past to create something positive... Like counseling other teens on how to deal with death, how to deal with molestation? Becoming a voice for someone else?

Just post here about your life, as much as you can. And we'll be here with you, offering advice and support...

It'll help!

**Beautiful Disaster** · 06-27-2011 02:54 PM

I think anytime there are life changing events in our childhood, they make it harder for us to move forward. No matter how young we were then, and how old we are now, we are still, in our own mind and body, the same person. My dad died when I was 17. Grandma died a month and a day later. Those things don't just leave you, because they are life changers. But is it necessary that they hold you back and give you something to dwell on? No. Some people have more phobia's than others. Some actually create more phobias for themselves because they like to feel that they are not in control. I consider myself a very normal gal....but I'm scared of some of the silliest things. I have a horrible heart pounding phobia of being trapped in my crawl space, of crossing bridges while someone else is driving, of flying in airplanes, etc. For me, these things result in shortness of breath, sweating, heart pounding, sometimes feeling faint, limbs feeling tingly, horrible irrational thoughts, etc. But do those things stop me from being subjected to my phobias? No. I have learned that the MORE I subject myself to them, the better I get....slowly, but surely.

Another thing to consider is your relationship. As time goes on, as things in life change, not being able to leave you for 5 seconds is going to put a lot of pressure on him.

I know it's frustrating to feel like your doctor won't help but the issues you are having are mental issues, not physical ones. Your doctor is doing you a favor. I work with a lady who is a great person, but had a rough life, some hard knocks here and there (as many of us do!) and somewhere along the way she had a doctor who said "This is what you need: anti-depressants, anti-anxiety pills, pills for upset stomach (when she gets nervous), hydrocodones for back and hip ache, pills for sleep aid, pills for migraines". Now, she is a 53 year old woman who literally has anxiety attacks just THINKING about running out of her anxiety medicine, or any one of her other medicines. She pays an abnormal amount of attention to every ailment and every change in her body, her skin, anything. After a while of being on the meds, they begin to be less effective...then she has to have them switched and get used to new drugs all over again. The issues CAUSING all these problems for her have never truly been addressed by a psychiatrist or therapist. These are band-aids that if you get on, you will most likely never get off of them. And they each have their own set of ugly side effects.

Is seeing a therapist an option for you?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-27-2011 06:41 PM

I agree with the others so much has happened in your life that the "fear" of everything is now in you, everything you fear.

You point out times as well, not just on a day but vday and Easter this has to play an important part in the anxiety for you I think.

I love the idea of aiming at becoming a councellor to help others and therefore by curing alot of this first so you can help others.

Another thing I think is important as you've made a list start with (1) just one and work at over coming it, the only way by over coming it is to keep doing it, or instance a fear of crowds, keep going out amonst them, daily, take three deep breathes slowly in and slowly out and keep going...

Each fear you have is created from the first fear and now you have several and it appears to be getting worse whereby you are adding to them...

Go back to the first fear and face it and go from there.

**twizzie** · 06-28-2011 02:07 PM

My fiance isn't a big deal. I've lived on my own for years. I've already experienced the teenage life. The good, the bad and the ugly. I'm ready to settle down and look towards the future with him in it.

As for a therapist, I can't do that because my insurance doesn't cover any therapists in the area

otherwise, I definitely would!

& Changing something NOW, yes. I'm moving - to a bigger, better place. I live in a Studio at the moment with 6 cats (my fiance will not rid of them!) and it's very stressing. My sleeping schedule - HORRID and has caused alot of anxiety.

I can cope with my anxiety, it's just really hard. The clonazepam works, and I am not addicted to it thank god (my family is prone to addiction)
But I want to learn other ways to treat it. Real ways.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-28-2011 02:57 PM

twizzie I love Studios

Are the cats his? With the move will they follow you?

Sleep disturbance can cause insomnia,

Symptoms.
Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep.

Causes.
Insomnia may arise as the result of physical illness or emotional problems (e.g., anxiety or depression). It can also arise from the use or abuse of drugs or alcohol or disruption of a person’s normal sleep schedule, such as during periods of travel. Insomnia can also coexist with other sleep disorders, such as sleep apnea or restless legs syndrome.

Treatment.
Treatment for insomnia varies. Depending on the cause of their insomnia, patients may respond to one or more of the following:

■Understanding that insomnia can be caused by emotional issues such as worry, anxiety, or depression and addressing these issues
■Learning that insomnia is caused by a physical illness and addressing the illness
■Learning relaxation and other stress management techniques
■Not napping during the daytime
■Drinking warm milk before bedtime
■Temporarily taking medication for sleeplessness

See if the above helps you.......

**twizzie** · 06-29-2011 03:53 AM

I have RLS! Bad. It's horrid! lol
Thanks for that, it helps alot. I think I may have the onset on sleep apnea, or something...I don't know. It's hard for me to breath when I'm lying down at night.

& the cats, 3 are mine, 3 are his. But the ones that act up are his. For goodness sake, he ended up in the hospital because of one of his cats! :'(

**ShelbyMustang** · 07-15-2011 07:59 PM

I usually make my explanations pretty long when I find people like you but I'm going to keep it simple. First of all what you go through sounds SO familiar to what i went through. I had sociaphobia, general anxiety, panic attack disorder, phobias, OCD's, and anorexia caused by nervous disorders. One of my phobias was hypocondreism, every little pain or sickness or oddity in my body made me panic. I got so bad I was physically ill to the point i nearly died. I had to talk my parents out of admitting me into a hospital. I weighed 96 pounds and i couldn't even walk. I tried meds, and yoga, and meditation but none of them worked until i used them with God. I took the spiritual road and I found happiness and balance in my life and now Im in recovery from all my problems and miraculously getting more and more better everyday. Spiritual life isn't for everyone and I never push stuff like that on people. But Im being honest and telling you how my problems were fixed, just so you have another option to dapple in. If you want to talk more you can PM me.