PMDD & my fiance

**sleen** · 07-28-2011 11:51 AM

I was diagnosed with PMDD last year, and I haven't made the time to do anything about it yet. I can't believe its actually been that long, but it has.

I am going to try getting back on the pill, to see if that helps. If not I will probably get on prozac, which I have taken before.

During my bad weeks, I am generally depressed and have a lot of anxiety and sometimes have panic attacks. But I am also somewhat obsessed with the idea that I want to leave my fiance. Or that I'm not attracted to him. But then, during the good weeks, I feel so happy and in love with him and everything is great. I even think to myself "how could I have doubts about THIS man? He's so wonderful"

But then it hits again and I have the same obsessive thoughts. and it stresses me out even more.

We have been together for over 7 years and I have battled with depression on and off during that time and he has always been there for me, supporting me. And we have so much in common, we often even finish eachothers sentences.

All I can do now is try to get treatment and, in the meantime, really relish in and cherish my "lucid" times where I feel like I am in love.

Has anyone with PMDD or depression had feelings like this?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-29-2011 04:28 PM

Depression makes everything seem negative, you prefer your own company, people are annoyinga nd you just want to be left alone to wollow in your own self pity party...

PMDD or even just PMD is a hormone problem, mood swings, irritibility and again it pretty much does the same thing as above.

You have to say oh oh, here it comes, breathe deep, drink water, walk for 10 minutes or 20 if you can, look at the skye or sea, or a tree, plant something and focus, see the beauty, it will help you through all of what you are going through and if you need medical, then go back on the pill..It's also not fair to your partner to keep him on egg sells for months on end

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-05-2011 08:37 PM

bumping

**bexie** · 08-22-2011 11:13 AM

i know how u feel im only just discovering why i feel the way i do and so far pmdd is fitting very well, i also try to push everyone away from me especially my partner and then ill have a good week and im on top form , but the other 3 weeks ...... meh dont go their, fancy a chat?

**Elanor-Jane** · 08-22-2011 09:03 PM

Originally Posted by sleen

I was diagnosed with PMDD last year, and I haven't made the time to do anything about it yet. I can't believe its actually been that long, but it has.

I am going to try getting back on the pill, to see if that helps. If not I will probably get on prozac, which I have taken before.

During my bad weeks, I am generally depressed and have a lot of anxiety and sometimes have panic attacks. But I am also somewhat obsessed with the idea that I want to leave my fiance. Or that I'm not attracted to him. But then, during the good weeks, I feel so happy and in love with him and everything is great. I even think to myself "how could I have doubts about THIS man? He's so wonderful"

But then it hits again and I have the same obsessive thoughts. and it stresses me out even more.

We have been together for over 7 years and I have battled with depression on and off during that time and he has always been there for me, supporting me. And we have so much in common, we often even finish eachothers sentences.

All I can do now is try to get treatment and, in the meantime, really relish in and cherish my "lucid" times where I feel like I am in love.

Has anyone with PMDD or depression had feelings like this?

i am the same but regarding my relationship i am basically ruining it by making a huge deal out of very small things and creating drama and conflict out of nothing. when its happening if my mum is around she'll pull me up and tell me im being irrational again and ill just cry and cry and insist im not but i know i am.

for example, my bf went away for work and stayed in a nice hotel in the city near the conference. i became annoyed at this as when we had gone to sydney for a concert a few months back he had mentioned we should just stay in a backpackers. i didnt want to so i organised for us to stay at a nice pub. the rooms were ok, probably about 3 stars and it was cheap.
so basically is questioned why he would do this, did he think i wasnt good enough to stay in 4-5 star? why would he put himself up in 4-5 star accom but suggest backpackers for him and me?
hes taken me away and weve stayed in really nice places, spa on balcony etc but that didnt occur to me when i was being frantic. hes too nice for me and basically said that he didnt want to just seem like he was trying to impress me all the time as id mentioned that i didnt want someone who pays for stuff all the time, buys me stuff all the time etc so he was just trying to be more down to earth for me i guess so anyway...i turned it into a HUGE thing...and i do it alot with other trivial stuff. wish i could stop.

so basically i dont feel good enough for him when im PMDDing lol

**sleen** · 09-13-2011 07:20 PM

hope Im not posting twice, I don't know what happened to my post:

Basically, Im back on the pill. So far things are going well, but its only been a month. I am experiencing some low level anxiety this week, but so far its not interfering with my life. I do have some of those negative feelings about my fiance, but they are weak enough that I can push them aside.

I am hoping the next few months will show more improvement. He is hopeful too.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-17-2011 03:48 AM

Maybe there is a stalemate in your relationship? If you are still having negative thoughts, maybe you two are just "living" and not "LIVING" perhaps it's time to have date nights, talk more, find each others passions it is so easy to get into a rut of life.

**spellermom100** · 10-07-2011 09:31 PM

Originally Posted by sleen

I was diagnosed with PMDD last year, and I haven't made the time to do anything about it yet. I can't believe its actually been that long, but it has.

I am going to try getting back on the pill, to see if that helps. If not I will probably get on prozac, which I have taken before.

During my bad weeks, I am generally depressed and have a lot of anxiety and sometimes have panic attacks. But I am also somewhat obsessed with the idea that I want to leave my fiance. Or that I'm not attracted to him. But then, during the good weeks, I feel so happy and in love with him and everything is great. I even think to myself "how could I have doubts about THIS man? He's so wonderful"

But then it hits again and I have the same obsessive thoughts. and it stresses me out even more.

We have been together for over 7 years and I have battled with depression on and off during that time and he has always been there for me, supporting me. And we have so much in common, we often even finish eachothers sentences.

All I can do now is try to get treatment and, in the meantime, really relish in and cherish my "lucid" times where I feel like I am in love.

Has anyone with PMDD or depression had feelings like this?

Hi. I'm new to this site so I don't know how relevant this reply is. But I wanted to encourage you about your fiance. I suffer from PMDD and during the two week bad time I don't want to have anything to do with my husband of 21 years when only a week earlier he rocked my world (yes, still after 21 years

). I go from being completely in love with him and so wanting to be with him in every way to being absolutely disgusted by everything he does or says. It's really bad and really extreme. Some months are better than others but it is always some version of the same. I really think that we have to be so careful about what we do during those bad times. I've been experiencing this for a really long time but have only recently been able to break it down so succinctly. I know that when I'm exercising I do better. And crazy as it sounds, I seem to do better when I get to use all of my "sound bites" in a day. Something about getting out of my head seems to really help. But it's a struggle every month. And the older I get the worse it seems. Also seemed to intensify when I had my tubes tied. I know the doctors wouldn't agree, but the timing seems to fit.
Anyway, back to your relationship. Unless you're feeling any of those emotions during your good weeks I would really encourage you not to end something that maybe should be. Interestingly, I have been hearing myself say the same thing over and over to my husband, month after month. Telling him that we are having the same argument and so there must really be something wrong. After looking back at the times of those "conversations" I've realized that there's nothing wrong with him or us, it's just a week or so before my period and I'm ready for a fight.
Wow, this disorder really stinks.

**sleen** · 10-23-2011 09:01 PM

Originally Posted by spellermom100

Hi. I'm new to this site so I don't know how relevant this reply is. But I wanted to encourage you about your fiance. I suffer from PMDD and during the two week bad time I don't want to have anything to do with my husband of 21 years when only a week earlier he rocked my world (yes, still after 21 years

). I go from being completely in love with him and so wanting to be with him in every way to being absolutely disgusted by everything he does or says. It's really bad and really extreme. Some months are better than others but it is always some version of the same. I really think that we have to be so careful about what we do during those bad times. I've been experiencing this for a really long time but have only recently been able to break it down so succinctly. I know that when I'm exercising I do better. And crazy as it sounds, I seem to do better when I get to use all of my "sound bites" in a day. Something about getting out of my head seems to really help. But it's a struggle every month. And the older I get the worse it seems. Also seemed to intensify when I had my tubes tied. I know the doctors wouldn't agree, but the timing seems to fit.
Anyway, back to your relationship. Unless you're feeling any of those emotions during your good weeks I would really encourage you not to end something that maybe should be. Interestingly, I have been hearing myself say the same thing over and over to my husband, month after month. Telling him that we are having the same argument and so there must really be something wrong. After looking back at the times of those "conversations" I've realized that there's nothing wrong with him or us, it's just a week or so before my period and I'm ready for a fight.
Wow, this disorder really stinks.

Thank you for sharing your story. It makes me feel better to hear that someone who has been married for so long is also experiencing the same feelings, and understands what I am going through. I really do not have these negative feelings except for before I menstruate, and usually when I ovulate. I think there are some things in our relationship that need improvement. But it mostly pertains to our lifestyle. I don't have my own car, so he drives me everywhere and I feel a lack of control there, and I might resent him a little bit for it. But we are working on that and its mostly my problem and has little to do with him, really. He had also gained a lot of weight over the past several years and I did feel a little less attracted to him and it affected our sex life. But we have both been eating better and we go on regular walks together and he has lost a lot of weight.

And we love spending time together on our walks! So I think these small, mostly insignificant negative feelings just get totally blown out of proportion when I am feeling depressed and negative. He's not the only thing I have these bad feelings about either. I start disliking everything...tv, music, my pets, my face. Everything gives me similar gross, negative feelings.

I have also recently started taking medication for ADHD, which also makes me rather anxious, restless, and overwhelmed. So I am working on that too.

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