I need help. Sex addiction or something more? Please read.

**Ashleybrownn** · 08-01-2011 02:45 PM

I have been dating my current bf for almost 2 years now. I love him. &I know that I love him because Ive been in many love-less relationships. Heres my problem.

I am addicted to sex. My boyfriend Alex has a friend that I desperately want to have sex with. I havent cheated on Alex, but I have such strong urges to have sex with his friend and another guy I know. Not because I want a relationship with those guys... not because Alex doesn't please me, but because I want to have sex with other men. I love kinky sex. 3somes-4somes or more. anal. anyway it can be done I want it.

I love porn.. I like the feeling of a man &being dominated by a man. I like married men. The feeling I get when pleasing a man is indescribable. I fantasize about Alex's dad. His friends. One guy told me he wanted to have sex with me in front of Alex. I like the thought of that..it turns me on. But i DO NOT want to hurt Alex. Ive asked him about a 3some, but he said he would be too jealous. Which I understand &respect. He knows I am a freak with him..he just doesn't know all these other thoughts.

I feel almost like Im living a secret life from everyone.. keeping these feelings &thoughts to myself.

Also I am 20, but in my opinion I am very mature for my age. Alex is 30. Dont know if that matters, but please give me your honest opinions. I know Ill probably get a lot of negative feedback, but I am honestly just trying to understand my problem &myself better.

From what I can remember I have never been sexually molested. But then again I dont remember much from my childhood. I do remember being very curious about sex &masturbating a lot when I was pretty young.

**jns** · 08-01-2011 04:15 PM

You would probably do best not being in this relationship. Maybe, one in a million, you could find a guy who would trust you to come back, be discreet and be clean. I seriously doubt you could find such a guy who would also be nice to you.

Probably your wanted promiscuity is due to wanting to be loved and by doing everything to please a guy you would get the love you want and require. More guys means more love. Do you remember if you bonded strongly with your mother?

**MinnieGem** · 08-01-2011 04:19 PM

seek some help before destroying your relationship, if you love this guy you shouldnt be fantasizing about other men, i understand your addicted to sex for someone like you, you should be single, enjoy your sex life then maybe you will be able to settle down, i know a girl, her husband left her and they were not intimate, as soon as he left she was online looking for sex partners, she was like a 7/11 store running 24hrs a day 7 days a week having this guy and that guy over to her house, do you realize how dangerous that can be? not to mention different diseases and how you will feel in the end of it, seems like alex cares about you, why leave him and fantasize about a sex partner that dont want you for you, think about it, yes your still young, could be just a phase, but be careful,

**Ashleybrownn** · 08-01-2011 05:08 PM

Originally Posted by jns

You would probably do best not being in this relationship. Maybe, one in a million, you could find a guy who would trust you to come back, be discreet and be clean. I seriously doubt you could find such a guy who would also be nice to you.

Probably your wanted promiscuity is due to wanting to be loved and by doing everything to please a guy you would get the love you want and require. More guys means more love. Do you remember if you bonded strongly with your mother?

i dont want that kind if relationship..i want to deal with these problems & stay with Alex. i think youre right about to love thing. my family isnt close. well..my mom is real close with my sister and brother, but not with me. my dad is closest to my sister. i grew up in an unhappy family. my mom has ms & my dad is blind. i didnt bond with either of them. they were very strict on me.

**jns** · 08-01-2011 05:24 PM

How often do you and Alex have sex? Is he open to having sex more often? Can you turn all your bonding and love requirements toward Alex? Will he be alright if you seem needy and clingy (some guys can handle it)?

I am thinking your unconscious strategy is to find love from various sources, so that if one source goes away, you still have the others.

**jabooloo14** · 08-01-2011 05:49 PM

Ashley, I think you should try maybe seeing if Alex is up to a 3some or see if he wants to do kinky stuff. He might be into it as well. I would also say to try new things with Alex. Also, when you look at another guy, try to put all the urge you get to have sex with them toward Alex. Honestly, take all that out on Alex. I've never heard of a guy turning down sexual pleasure.