Some people tend to believe all the cruelty you read online, is how people really think but are too afraid to express unless under the anonymous nature of forums... but that tends to be far from the truth. There is also a large number of people that don't genuinly feel a certain way, but will express it as a 'persona'... which is another phenom that happens when people can be anything and anyone. You can have a 400 pound person sitting there scowling at some 150 pound womans picture going... you chub you disgust me... projection? perhaps? self-hatred? probably.
In that same vein, ones telling you to grow up and stop playing the victim, may also be talking of themselves to themselves. Maybe they haven't found the healing that you have and still continue to blame themselves and don't like to see someone else handle things differently. You just never know.
Online advice is not to be taken with a grain of salt, but a whole dang bottle lol.